Online dating sites????

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Picard

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Let me state outright this is not for me. This is for a middle aged, divorced collegue.

If you don't believe me and think this is for me ... go play checkers in the middle of the highway.

A collegue has requested that I open a paid account for her on the dating site "thunderboltcity". She is a 50 something, divorced teacher.

My question is ... and this is what I said to her this afternoon ... "is thunderboltcity the best dating site for her or are there some other sites to consider".

I took it upon myself to find out ... from you.

Her intention is not necessarily to meet a guy and marry again (believe me she doesn't bump her head twice against the same obstacle).

All she wants is a to meet a similarly situationed man with whom she can spend some time with.

Website recommendations if you please ... please.
 
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Thunderboltcity, datingbuzz and a whole bunch of others all share the same database just through a differently branded frontend (at least they did a few years ago). Given her age there is a good chance that she will be able to meet similarly minded guys, however she will probably have to fend off the usual bunch of freaks and youngsters that will feel they have a point to prove.

Internet dating can be a lot of fun, but as always a modicum of caution with regards first contacts should be exercised.
 
No need to hide dude, we know it's for you :p

I don't see why dating sites are for anyone specific in all honesty, we are in the digital age so dating sites are for everyone. Facebook has a good dating site or so i have heard.
 
Hey I tried it before. You do get to meet people. It may work out.

As OMB said, 90% of the sites in SA are all DatingBuzz reskins, they all use the same database. Be it IOL, Mail & Guardian or Thunda (click search on each of these sites, you'll get exactly the same results). There are many more.
 
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Picard said:
Let me state outright this is not for me. This is for a middle aged, divorced collegue.

If you don't believe me and think this is for me ... go play checkers in the middle of the highway.
Click to expand...

Yikes, being older, divorced or single isn't a sin you know.

Picard said:
A collegue has requested that I open a paid account for her on the dating site "thunderboltcity". She is a 50 something, divorced teacher.

My question is ... and this is what I said to her this afternoon ... "is thunderboltcity the best dating site for her or are there some other sites to consider".
Click to expand...

Thunderboltcity = DatingBuzz reskin, confirmed
 
Thinking back reminds me ... When I tried it out in 2006, I quickly realized that it's a lot of work from a guys point of view. You have to find the right profile, then write the appropriate email, interact etc. This is a lot of work when there's lots of people you're potentially interested in. So after a while I thought, screw this, I'm going to turn this around to favour me: I'll add everyone that fits my taste and let them write to me! So an app Dating Optimizer was born. This is the result, after a week of running it (on a 384 Kbps line):

statsid.jpg


I briefly thought I could make a shareware app out of this and described it as follows. Needless to say it didn't go anywhere. :)

Overview:

Internet dating works, but it is hard work. It is a numbers game, the more people you contact, the better your chance of finding your match. To add a few hundred favourites will take a few days of hard work.

Dating Optimizer can add 10,000+ favourites in ONE day. The more favourites, the more fans. Expect a view to fan conversion ratio of 10%. You need 300 fans to reach the top-20 most popular list.

Dating Optimizer appears like a normal user to the web site so it can not be detected and your account won't be at risk. More to the point, you still HAVE to subscribe to the dating web site, so everyone wins.
 
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OMB said:
Thunderboltcity, datingbuzz and a whole bunch of others all share the same database just through a differently branded frontend (at least they did a few years ago). Given her age there is a good chance that she will be able to meet similarly minded guys, however she will probably have to fend off the usual bunch of freaks and youngsters that will feel they have a point to prove.

Internet dating can be a lot of fun, but as always a modicum of caution with regards first contacts should be exercised.
Click to expand...

Did not know they share the same database good to know
 
Or news24, but he only dates family so she would need to pretend to be a relation.

I used datingbuzz.com - found my current girlfriend of over 2 months.

Its not a perfect way to meet someone, it does have its drawbacks. Namely that A) people lie, and probably especially older people, B) people are more picky online because they feel they can be, C) its difficult to communicate effectively online, so the profile you put out there might not reflect you the way you think it does. And vice versa, a profile that you see might not reflect the person who wrote it accurately. Simply put, there is too much to being human for it to be put into a few paragraphs!

Still worth a shot IMHO.
 
online dating should not be taken lightly and needs some serious consideration

Ancalagon said:
Namely that A) people lie, and probably especially older people
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I disagree, I spent a significant amount of time dating online and found that there is not one particular age group that lies

B) people are more picky online because they feel they can be
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also not necessarily so, there are many reasons why people take the online route, some of these people are fairly desperate or are just looking for a quick good time and so they tend to be less picky

C) its difficult to communicate effectively online, so the profile you put out there might not reflect you the way you think it does. And vice versa, a profile that you see might not reflect the person who wrote it accurately.
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all the more important to think carefully about what you are putting into your profile and how you present yourself and also making your profile a living thing and update and refine it regularly, unfortunately the second part is true and that is why initial communication needs to be structured to find out as much about the other person as possible before making face-to-face contact.

Online dating can be a lot of fun and you can meet some really awesome people, you just need to think very carefully about what you are looking for and create some guidelines and an approach for handling dates and you'll generally have more good times than bad :)
 
People are a bit elastic with the truth when describing themselves so the following glossary could be useful.

WOMEN'S ADS:
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very "friendly" person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Average - Fat
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

MEN'S ADS:
40-ish - 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic - Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking - Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back
Educated - Will patronize the hell out of you
Free Spirit - Will take your sister
Friendship first - As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun - Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking - Arrogant
Very good looking - Dumb as a board
Honest - Pathological Liar
Huggable - Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle - Insecure mama's boy
Mature - Older than your father
Open-minded - Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit - Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Sensitive - Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive - Gay
Spiritual - Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable - Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
 
OMB said:
I disagree, I spent a significant amount of time dating online and found that there is not one particular age group that lies
Click to expand...

Older people are more likely to lie about their age and history. My GF met up with a guy who claimed to be 37 and single, but was actually 43 and divorced.

also not necessarily so, there are many reasons why people take the online route, some of these people are fairly desperate or are just looking for a quick good time and so they tend to be less picky
Click to expand...

I disagree. I've noticed that I'll be a lot more discerning online, and I think the same holds true for women. It reduces it to online shopping almost.

all the more important to think carefully about what you are putting into your profile and how you present yourself and also making your profile a living thing and update and refine it regularly, unfortunately the second part is true and that is why initial communication needs to be structured to find out as much about the other person as possible before making face-to-face contact.
Click to expand...

Thats true but still doesnt negate the fact that information is presented completely differently online compared to face to face. Even the kind of partner you say you are looking for says something, and this wouldnt ordinarily be known face to face. Vice versa, things like what music you enjoy or what your real age is (assuming you dont lie) are all there online. Its a completely different medium.

Online dating can be a lot of fun and you can meet some really awesome people, you just need to think very carefully about what you are looking for and create some guidelines and an approach for handling dates and you'll generally have more good times than bad :)
Click to expand...

As I said I met my GF through online dating, so it definitely can and does work. It just means you have to think a little differently and be aware of the differences. With us it really helped that we chatted on the phone before meeting face to face. So when we met, we werent complete strangers.
 
Ancalagon said:
Older people are more likely to lie about their age and history. My GF met up with a guy who claimed to be 37 and single, but was actually 43 and divorced.
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Divorced = single... Why's your gf meeting up with guys?
 
Ancalagon said:
Older people are more likely to lie about their age and history. My GF met up with a guy who claimed to be 37 and single, but was actually 43 and divorced.
Click to expand...

so because your GF met up with an older guy that lied, that makes all older people likely to lie?

I disagree. I've noticed that I'll be a lot more discerning online, and I think the same holds true for women. It reduces it to online shopping almost.
Click to expand...

so because you're more discerning and you think that hold true for women that's the way it is?

I spent 2 years dating online and that's how I met my wife. Based on my 2 years of experience I disagree with both your comments as per the reasons in my first post. However, your experience may have been totally different to mine so you're entitled to your opinion.
 
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