open relationships?

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scarlett

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I watched a movie last night called lie to me.. about a couple who has an open relationship.
For e.g couple goes to wedding, both guy and girl find someone there that they are attracted to, and they act on this. & they talk about it, and its like a normal thing. The girl ends up sleeping with the guy.. come's home and then discusses it with her boyfriend while he is bummed about not having "scored". The girl date's the other guy.. openly.. and the boyfriend supports it.

I've seen a few people im friends with on fb make their relationship status's "open relationship" but does this really happen? do people really carry on like this?..
I cant imagine having a boyfriend, and then still living my life as though I were single, where do people find the time? How does someone give themselves to someone completely, and actually make a relationship worth something, when they going on a date with someone else next week.. and they slept with some other guy 2 nights ago..

I get the idea, that its about not restricting one another, exploring connections that would other wise be missed.. not missing out on something etc etc.. but.. where does it end?..

I read an article about open marriages aswell the other day. What is the point of being married? Is that not a slap in the face to every married commited person? Why get married if you are going to openly have sexual relationships with other people?..

Perhaps I am being small minded or something..i just find the whole idea pretty messed up.
 
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A lot of people are just not naturally monogomous and they choose to be honest with their partners and themselves instead of having affairs. (Obviously both partners share the same ideas.)

The idea is that sex does not equal love. Jealousy is also not an issue. These people are secure enough with themselves and their partners and they know the important thing is coming home to each other at the end of the day.
 
Yes, it is pretty messed up... and never works (for very long) in real life.

It's just an excuse to be a sleep around.
 
From a practical point of view: If someone wanted an open relationship, what is the purpose? Might as well be single and date freely.

It makes no sense to me; I believe in monogamy.
 
The whole story that it never works is a lie perpetrated because open relationships are seen as abhorrent by societal norms. It's not the right choice for everyone but there is no proof that a greater percentage of truly open relationships (Those between two truly consenting partners as opposed to one partner being pressured into it.) fail than monogomous ones do.
 
If someone wanted an open relationship, what is the purpose? Might as well be single and date freely.
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Because being single/one night stands don't provide love, companionship, stability and all the other things that aren't sex that you ger out of a relationship.

Then might as well go for monogamy
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Not if sexual monogamy is not who you are. If you consider that a study showed that over 50% of men and women have been unfaithful to their partners maybe more people should be more honest with themselves and their partners. Monogomy just doesn't work for a huge percentage of the population.
 
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I know people who it works for. It wouldn't work for me.

There is a wide spectrum of behaviour possible, I certainly would not expect people to stay within the rather narrow confines of what I would personally want.

Each to their own, as long as you are not hurting anybody else. Simple as that I believe.
 
scarlett said:
I watched a movie last night called lie to me.. about a couple who has an open relationship.
For e.g couple goes to wedding, both guy and girl find someone there that they are attracted to, and they act on this. & they talk about it, and its like a normal thing. The girl ends up sleeping with the guy.. come's home and then discusses it with her boyfriend while he is bummed about not having "scored". The girl date's the other guy.. openly.. and the boyfriend supports it.

I've seen a few people im friends with on fb make their relationship status's "open relationship" but does this really happen? do people really carry on like this?..
I cant imagine having a boyfriend, and then still living my life as though I were single, where do people find the time? How does someone give themselves to someone completely, and actually make a relationship worth something, when they going on a date with someone else next week.. and they slept with some other guy 2 nights ago..

I get the idea, that its about not restricting one another, exploring connections that would other wise be missed.. not missing out on something etc etc.. but.. where does it end?..

I read an article about open marriages aswell the other day. What is the point of being married? Is that not a slap in the face to every married commited person? Why get married if you are going to openly have sexual relationships with other people?..

Perhaps I am being small minded or something..i just find the whole idea pretty messed up.
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Want to give this open relationship thing a chance?

PM me a picture and we might be able to sort something out :p
 
An open relationship as described in the OP is BS.

That is a forced relationship and not a natural relationship.
 
scarlett said:
The girl ends up sleeping with the guy.. come's home and then discusses it with her boyfriend while he is bummed about not having "scored". The girl date's the other guy.. openly.. and the boyfriend supports it.
Click to expand...

In the real world I am not aware of "open relationships" that work like this. An open relationship usually ends at the part where they had sex. Another term for the open relationships I am aware of is swinging. There is not meant to be any emotional and long term connection. It is all about sex.
 
For those who want to, and do, make it work... more power to them. There are people who can dissociate physical gratification from the other elements of an intimate relationship. If two such people happen to find each other then I respect their rights to do whatever the hell they want, inside or outside, of such a union. An open, honest relationship is preferable to one where secrecy and deception is the norm.

I have no doubt that many people would not want such a relationship, or that it actually works out as planned for an even smaller minority, but a question of morality it is not.
 
Hmmm, as a mate of mine said: Some guys just dont mind stirring another mans porridge.
:sick:
Kinda sums it up.
I'll take monogomy thanks.
 
Kilgore_Trout_Redux said:
Not if sexual monogamy is not who you are. If you consider that a study showed that over 50% of men and women have been unfaithful to their partners maybe more people should be more honest with themselves and their partners. Monogomy just doesn't work for a huge percentage of the population.
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In that case, why in heck enter a RELATIONSHIP with someone and then tell people you are in an open RELATIONSHIP?

Just be single and date!

What do you get out of a relationship if it's an open one?
Your meals? Get takeaways!
Your laundry? Go to the laundromat!

Waste of time if you ask me.
 
(The girl ends up sleeping with the guy.. come's home and then discusses it with her boyfriend while he is bummed about not having "scored". The girl date's the other guy.. openly.. and the boyfriend supports it.)

LancelotSA said:
In the real world I am not aware of "open relationships" that work like this. An open relationship usually ends at the part where they had sex. Another term for the open relationships I am aware of is swinging. There is not meant to be any emotional and long term connection. It is all about sex.
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I've just been chatting to a friend of mine about this, and she says in her opinion that in an open relationship anything goes, the couple can introduce rules, boundaries etc if that is what is wanted, but the main thing is being open and honest. Once things happen, and they are'nt discussed, and things are kept secret.. the relationship is compromised or something like that.
 
blunomore said:
In that case, why in heck enter a RELATIONSHIP with someone and then tell people you are in an open RELATIONSHIP?

Just be single and date!

What do you get out of a relationship if it's an open one?
Your meals? Get takeaways!
Your laundry? Go to the laundromat!

Waste of time if you ask me.
Click to expand...

Now this post needs a gold star. Well said blunomore
 
blunomore said:
In that case, why in heck enter a RELATIONSHIP with someone and then tell people you are in an open RELATIONSHIP?

Just be single and date!

What do you get out of a relationship if it's an open one?
Your meals? Get takeaways!
Your laundry? Go to the laundromat!

Waste of time if you ask me.
Click to expand...

Blu, this is rather quite simple. We humans, though fairly stupid for the most part, are rather complex in our make-up. A functional relationship needs to satisfy us on a multitude of fronts - mentally, emotionally, economically, spiritually (for those who think we are spiritual) and yes, physically. It is quite conceivable that two people can satisfy each other in all aspects apart from the physical. If two such people are so inclined, an open relationship could be a workable solution for them.
 
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