Overweight relative

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Positively Negative

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Hi forum,
my dad is in his sixties and rather overweight. He drinks quite a bit on a daily basis and lately it has been bothering me!
Now I have heard all his stories from back in the day and how they used to drink etc. I just get worried as I don't believe the human body can take such a beating?
Do you have any overweight relatives that you have shared your concern with before? I just feel it would be bitter to tell him basically ' Stop drinking so f@#$@#ing much and please look after your health!!!!' There is this scene I keep replaying in my mind over and over again that I'm gonna be wherever and we get the call he has had a heart attack or something else major. I try to discuss it with my mom at times but she never seems to do anything about it. It just saddens me that some people at that age sort of 'give up' and just let loose and if they die...so be it. Maybe that is what the stress of life does in general but I would just like some advice on the subject. I mean we all know someone who doesn't have the correct BMI right ?:whistle: :erm::o
 
Dad is 51 and well he has always drank a lot and my mum is addicted to pills,so basically unless they choose to stop the well you can't do anything (mom went to hospital for something and the doc tuned her about the drugs but she carried on).
 
The only thing you can do is go on about how fat he is. Hi dad wow you've packet on some serious weight. Otherwise how are things going?

Condition him to take notice of it without making a big deal about it.
 
Don't get in his face about things you do not like! I have a few problems (diabetic, heart problems) and have found that I tend to do the opposite when people get heavy and nag. I understand their concerns but would prefer a less confrontational approach!
 
Carneades said:
Don't get in his face about things you do not like! I have a few problems (diabetic, heart problems) and have found that I tend to do the opposite when people get heavy and nag. I understand their concerns but would prefer a less confrontational approach!
Click to expand...

Yeah I understand that part for sure. It just feels depressing that if he were to pass away and then people stand around and think ' We could have done something'. But I guess we have to accept people will do whatever they damn well please and we have no control of that even if they are close to your heart.
 
Perhaps suggest a film or similar and the effects, since its not you in his face then his bound to take notice.

Sorry to hear what you going through but i pray you do not get that call :).

Currently my motivation for wanting to lose weight (am 2m +- tall & 129KGs) is to skydive :D, you gotta be 105 or lower to do it. I did the bungee jump @ Bloukrans in Jan this year and it felt good being a fat fellow and all :). Hang in there buddy

PS
just to add, everyone is always harping at me about my weight but over the years i normally lose abit over a 1 year period as apposed to instantly using those products on the market, i simply don't believe in them. Yes it gets to you when hearing from people but eventually you want to say, hey i wanna have kids some day or see my bro's children grow up.
 
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My mom's an asthmatic with anxiety problems, yet she's overweight, smokes and can't stop the psycho-meds. No matter how much her children beg try to beg, plead and scold, she just won't make the effort. This will she her eventually needing constant care and medical attention, yet she carries on. It angers me when I think about it, despite how much I care for her, and appreciate all the effort and sacrifice she made to raise us well. IMO it's still no reason to allow your health to slide into a terrible state.

Aside from either turning into a real monster and constantly harassing her, I speak to her about these issues occasionally, trying to remain reasonable and calm
 
killadoob said:
The only thing you can do is go on about how fat he is. Hi dad wow you've packet on some serious weight. Otherwise how are things going?

Condition him to take notice of it without making a big deal about it.
Click to expand...

This works. I've been getting fattish recently, and my friends keep telling me how I'm going to become obese soon if I don't come off the KFC diet I'm on, and trust me, it gets to me. I am now going to try and take more care of myself.
 
flarkit said:
My mom's an asthmatic with anxiety problems, yet she's overweight, smokes and can't stop the psycho-meds. No matter how much her children beg try to beg, plead and scold, she just won't make the effort. This will she her eventually needing constant care and medical attention, yet she carries on. It angers me when I think about it, despite how much I care for her, and appreciate all the effort and sacrifice she made to raise us well. IMO it's still no reason to allow your health to slide into a terrible state.

Aside from either turning into a real monster and constantly harassing her, I speak to her about these issues occasionally, trying to remain reasonable and calm
Click to expand...

Thanks for all the replies peeps. Yeah it just gets me down :(

You see this is what PISSES me off aswell. He has blood pressure issues and cannot stand anywhere we go. He gets into a panic if he can't sit down and it frustrates us alot.
The weight obviously has a factor to do with this. And I also do not fcking looking forward to the day where we have to help him walk from here to there just because he is too fcking big to do it himself. I'm sorry but don't fat people think about the future AT ALL?!!!! The fear of having to be helped everywhere i go would get me onto a decent diet and off the sheet i feast on. I mean just today he comes home from the pub after having 6 brandy and coke. and carries on with another 3 doubles while at home. Then my brother gets home and is asked to go to the shop for an ice cream and chocolate.UM WTF!!!! how much calories and poison can the human body take a day.I am astounded he has been able to maintain this type of diet for so many years.I just sit here in anger because as it's been said before there is not much I can do.I love my father but it's fcking annoying how ignorant someone can be about general health.:mad::mad::mad:

:cry: Life dudes...Life
 
Positively Negative said:
Thanks for all the replies peeps. Yeah it just gets me down :(

You see this is what PISSES me off aswell. He has blood pressure issues and cannot stand anywhere we go. He gets into a panic if he can't sit down and it frustrates us alot.
The weight obviously has a factor to do with this. And I also do not fcking looking forward to the day where we have to help him walk from here to there just because he is too fcking big to do it himself. I'm sorry but don't fat people think about the future AT ALL?!!!! The fear of having to be helped everywhere i go would get me onto a decent diet and off the sheet i feast on. I mean just today he comes home from the pub after having 6 brandy and coke. and carries on with another 3 doubles while at home. Then my brother gets home and is asked to go to the shop for an ice cream and chocolate.UM WTF!!!! how much calories and poison can the human body take a day.I am astounded he has been able to maintain this type of diet for so many years.I just sit here in anger because as it's been said before there is not much I can do.I love my father but it's fcking annoying how ignorant someone can be about general health.:mad::mad::mad:

:cry: Life dudes...Life
Click to expand...

I'm trying hard to show compassion and respect when the health topic is raised. Hopefully this is a more effective approach than constantly scolding. What boggles me though, is how someone doesn't realise just how obviously these things are related:

- you're stressed about things like health and financial wellbeing, so you smoke and eat (comfort-eating)

- the smoking worsens the asthma, which makes it more difficult to exercise, worsening the weight problem, which worsens your health

- that leads to frequent medical treatment, which eats up the finances, adding to your burden on your kids.

HELLO. It's not complicated, yet people just won't try to get off their lazy backsides and improve things with just a little effort and tiny commitment. It's not even as if one has to completely give up your comforts. Just eat more healthily, reduce the indulgences and go for a 15 min walk every day. That alone will solve more than half of the weight problem without giving up the pleasures!
:mad:

Woosahhh... compassion and respect, compassion and respect.
 
Its hard to teach an old dog new tricks.My dad continued smoking and eating unhealthily after a quadruple bypass.
 
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