Payments on a best-effort basis.

B

brendon9x

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Phone rings

Me: Hello?

Telkom: Hi, is that Brendon?

Me: Please hold.

[Playing 15 minutes of "Tiger wheel and Tyre" jingles]

Me: Hello, how can I help you?

Telkom: I'm phoning in relation to your last payment. You paid us R1,000 for your bandwidth and line rental, but you actually owe us R1,800.

Me: What router are you using?

Telkom: Sorry?!

Me: I need to know what router you're using. It could be your router.

Telkom: (silence)

Telkom: Its a telkom router sir.

Me: Aha! Reboot it and get back me.

[hangs up]

...

[phone rings]

Telkom: Sir, we need to talk about your payment. You only paid about half of what you are obligated to pay us.

Me: I'm sorry. I operate on a "best effort" basis and make no guarantees as to when I'll pay, how much I'll pay or in fact, whether I'll even pay you anything at all.

Telkom: I'm afraid that's not legal sir. Business must operate on the basis of mutual guarantees.

Me: Oh really? Funny, I've been dealing with your best efforts for a while now. I must say, you should try harder. Your best efforts are a bit embarrassing.

Telkom: I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. Now are you going to pay us?

Me: Maybe. But first, you'll have to log a complaint with my bank.

Telkom: What?! What have your bank got to with it.

Me: Nothing, but I need a case number before I can continue. Thanks for your call [CLICK]
 
Brilliant! :D

Now fix your International bandwidth mess Telkom! :mad:
 
OMG!!
i would so love to see the telkom persons face!:confused:
what a start to the long weekend! i am going to be sore from falling off my chair
 
@brendon9x

You have seriously made my day!!!!!!!! :D:D
Yours is the most awesome post I have seen in a while :p
 
I tell you what you do :) if you have a Kruger Rand by any chance, present it to them in payment. If they don't accept it then just walk away. In court I believe if you hold something of correct value in open tender to the company and they refuse it, then you don't have to pay. Check up on that though.

I know someone who did this for his municipal bills. He won the court case. Bear in mind though he is extremely intelligent with his words. He is actually quite looney and is around 50 years old.

Just a thought :)
 
lol great post:). We need a thread with onlt telkom mock up calls like this, it'll be fun to get back at these baboons for what they're doing to us.
 
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