Relationship help thread...

[Foxhound5366]

You know registerforfree, it's been pretty interesting to read back through this thread, to see just where you went off the rails.

SaoirseB was really calm at the start, revealing a lot of personal information about herself (admitting possibly more about her own flaws than anybody else has here). Case in point:

Don't know how else to explain it. I'm not saying men are lying all the time. I can objectively see in other relationships that the men are not playing games. It's just very difficult for me personally to believe them, because always at the back of my mind is everything I've seen and heard. I know it's biased and unfair, but it's something I can't help. I think it's a good thing though, because it means I'll never be vulnerable to any man, plus I can just walk away.

You, however, didn't like the idea that SaoirseB might express that she's got her own insecurities when it comes to men, just like the OP's woman might have. Rather than expressing empathy, you decided to start responding like this:

Nobody expects you to worship at the altar of men. On the other hand, you fully expect us to worship at the altar of women and then you spew the most misandric BS you can think of and expect us not to call you a feminazi.
Pot. Kettle. Black.

This lead to SaoirseB actually agreeing that there ARE women who do wrong (something you later incorrectly claim she refuses to do), and is perfectly within her rights to state that she is not interested in these women because they're not her problem. They're not ... we all have to choose our problems, and the TOPIC of this thread was a woman who did something a man couldn't understand, and SaoirseB has shared reasons from her personal past which might explain this (a useful contribution to the discussion):

I've never pretended that women can do no wrong. Yes there are women out there who also give women a bad name, but I don't care about those women. They're not my problem. Men are. The ones who manipulate and use women. The ones who molest innocent little children. The ones who rape, use and abuse women and children. The ones who leave destroyed lives in their wake and get to go on with their lives as if nothing ever happened.

NB: It's important to note here that when SaoirseB says 'Men are.' she immediately clarifies after that which categories of men she's referring to ... manipulators, molesters, rapists, destroyers.

Of course, registerforfree, you miss that point completely, and instead you choose to start an argument with SaoirseB on a completely unrelated subject ... you're angry at her for not getting angry at something you're angry about, when THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THIS THREAD (or SaoirseB's personal experience-based contributions to it):

And there we are right back to the heart of your misandry. Nobody in this thread defended men who are abusive. We pointed out that it is not only men who are abusive.

You want us to defend the actions of abusive men, yet when talking about abusive women you say they are not your problem. Why do we have to be held accountable for abusive men when you refuse to do the same for abusive women?

You're a hypocrite. And a misandrist. And a feminazi. Come talk to us again when your mind isn't clouded by misandry.

And boom, there we have it. From there it's just you calling SaoirseB names, before she ever called YOU a name as a personal attack. Look at that last line of yours ... hypocrite *boom* misandrist *boom* feminazi *boom*

And pretty much from there it's just been you and me arguing about why you over-reacted, completely missing SaoirseB's points above and rather trying to force her into an argument she wasn't making (ironically the very thing you've been accusing her of shrilly).

Phew, that's the last time I'm gonna unpack all of that. Registerforfree, do you disagree with my summary above and feel it is one-sided, or do you feel that your words have been accurately represented? If so, I'd love to hear how you don't see that you've been missing the point all along.

 

[rwenzori]

I've seen way to much to ever believe anything a guy ever says.

You are clearly socially maladjusted, extremely so. Might I suggest some therapy?

[ As an aside, Rwenzori Psychobabble LLC is offering a Valentine's Day discount on psychological counselling, with a free full-body massage to selected clients. ]

 

[Nick333]

Registerforfree, answer me this: did any of the men criticising SaoriseB bring her gender into their discussions, or were their objections to her viewpoints raised in a perfectly gender-neutral fashion? Of course we'll analyse some of those posts, yours included, to see if you mention the words 'woman'/'women' at all.

Saor was the first to bring gender into the discussion.

 

[Foxhound5366]

Saor was the first to bring gender into the discussion.

No, the original poster was, when he spoke about a woman, and some posters then started advising him what to do based on their experiences with women too.

Saoire then continued that, admitting her own flaws in a very direct way, clearly recognising she had an issue, and linking it as a possible justifier for the OP's woman (a valid point).

That did NOT warrant all the personal attacks made against her, which she did not return in kind.

 

[registerforfree]

NB: It's important to note here that when SaoirseB says 'Men are.' she immediately clarifies after that which categories of men she's referring to ... manipulators, molesters, rapists, destroyers.

I love how dishonest you're being by quoting SaoirseB's post and then omitting the part that caused the offense. It's astonishing how you can sit on your high horse and not quote the full thing because you know it doesn't suit your agenda. You want to see the full quote including the part that caused offense? Here you go.

I've never pretended that women can do no wrong. Yes there are women out there who also give women a bad name, but I don't care about those women. They're not my problem. Men are. The ones who manipulate and use women. The ones who molest innocent little children. The ones who rape, use and abuse women and children. The ones who leave destroyed lives in their wake and get to go on with their lives as if nothing ever happened.

Go ahead defend them!

I bolded the part that you 'conveniently' omitted. You know, the sentence that caused the entire argument? She accused us of defending men who rape and molest and expected us to take responsibility for their actions while she simultaneously refused to take responsibility for the actions of women who are bad.

That was the entire focus point of the argument. And that is the part you conveniently decided to omit so that you can misrepresent my side of the argument. Why is this fight so important to you that you would stoop to dishonesty to try and win it?

Registerforfree, do you disagree with my summary above and feel it is one-sided, or do you feel that your words have been accurately represented?

Absolutely. As I said above, you even went so far as to omit parts of SoairesB's posts in order to misrepresent my argument and yet you still sit there on your high horse, lording over us and insisting that we're misogynists and you're the enlightened folk in front of whom the rest of us should bow down.

Sorry mate, but I'm not going to engage you any further. It's clear I'm not going to get anywhere. You've decided that this is a gender spat and that I'm a misogynist and no amount of counter-arguments or proof to the contrary will convince you otherwise. Sorry, but I'm not going to continue feeding the delusions of enlightened superiority by a hack who stoops to such levels to try and push his own narrative. I don't know what your investment in this matter is, but kindly go cook up misogynistic conspiracy theories somewhere else.

 

[Foxhound5366]

So what you're saying, registerforfree, is that you took four of SaoirseB's words and launched a personal vendetta against her because of it. Let's remember that in your post replying to her post which you've quoted, you called her 'a hypocrite. And a misandrist. And a feminazi."

That is terribly personal, when she hadn't attacked you personally. If you still can't concede to even that much, then you're more than welcome to not engage with me further. In all seriousness, you haven't started to do that yet, so there's nothing that needs stopping.

Have fun flying off your next handle, and try not get so personally insulted the next time somebody calls you out for personally attacking somebody you haven't showed even a trace of understanding and empathy for.

 

[registerforfree]

So your response to being shown that you were dishonest and misrepresenting the argument is to shift the goalposts again?

Not surprising at all. I guess we're done here.

 

[Foxhound5366]

So your response to being shown that you were dishonest and misrepresenting the argument is to shift the goalposts again?

Not surprising at all. I guess we're done here.

I wasn't being dishonest, I was trying to minimise the length of an already-long post by quoting the essence of the post that was relevant to the broader trend. Would I have been dishonest if I didn't re-quote every single post in its entirety? All I was doing was providing a summary, if you see that as biased that's your choice.

Frankly, those last few words of SaoirseB's were clearly a frustrated challenge to the male pig-headedness being demonstrated by some of the narrow-minded commentators here, who just weren't getting the point why a man's behaviour might prejudice a woman's reaction to him. They definitely weren't a personal insult at you registerforfree, but you chose to respond to her with personal insults ... and repeat those, continually and with growing aggression (should I quote those posts too, or can you find them?).

Don't let the door slam your hysteria on the way out now, mkay.

 

[registerforfree]

You cut out the only offending part of her post (4 words) and you claim you were trying to summarize it?

Dishonesty be thy name.

I wouldn't throw around the word hysteria either, mate. You're the one trying to turn a bog-standard, everyday, garden-variety forum spat into a gender issue.

 

[Foxhound5366]

I wouldn't throw around the word hysteria either, mate. You're the one trying to turn a bog-standard, everyday, garden-variety forum spat into a gender issue.

Oh I don't know about that registerforfree, you're the one who called SaoirseB a feminazi after all ... is that your definition of a 'bog-standard' forum debating tool? Sounds like a gender issue to me.

Have fun in your head, where you're right.

 

[registerforfree]

I called her a feminazi because she's a female who is being misandric while crying about alleged misogyny. How you translated that into me hating women and there being a great big group of men on these forums who are just sitting around trying to chase women away is a bit of a mystery.

But have fun with your whiteknighting. Hope it gets your dick wet.

 

[Foxhound5366]

I called her a feminazi because she's a female who is being misandric while crying about alleged misogyny. How you translated that into me hating women and there being a great big group of men on these forums who are just sitting around trying to chase women away is a bit of a mystery.

But have fun with your whiteknighting. Hope it gets your dick wet.

Haha, more classy comments from you, hmm?

I find it deliciously appropriate that you accuse me of changing the goal-posts, *right* before you change the goal-posts.

You: I didn't bring gender into this. Me: Yes you did, here. You: Well, I only did that because she did it first.

You might also like to read back and refresh yourself on what I actually said to you, because I very clearly stated that regardless of what your and other narrow-minded men's *intentions* are, you're definitely having the EFFECT of discouraging female commentators. I can't imagine many women would be encouraged to open up and share their vulnerabilities in the way that SaoirseB did, when they can see in black and white how it was rewarded with your persistent brand of abuse.

In the best case you're just happily missing the point and in the worst case you're bitter and venting your frustrations at others who appear easy targets online. Good luck with your future navigation of those two extremes, I reserve my right to disagree with you.

 

[GoneWithTheWindows]

Haha, more classy comments from you, hmm?

I find it deliciously appropriate that you accuse me of changing the goal-posts, *right* before you change the goal-posts.

You: I didn't bring gender into this. Me: Yes you did, here. You: Well, I only did that because she did it first.

You might also like to read back and refresh yourself on what I actually said to you, because I very clearly stated that regardless of what your and other narrow-minded men's *intentions* are, you're definitely having the EFFECT of discouraging female commentators. I can't imagine many women would be encouraged to open up and share their vulnerabilities in the way that SaoirseB did, when they can see in black and white how it was rewarded with your persistent brand of abuse.

In the best case you're just happily missing the point and in the worst case you're bitter and venting your frustrations at others who appear easy targets online. Good luck with your future navigation of those two extremes, I reserve my right to disagree with you.

White knights, white knights everywhere.

 

[rwenzori]

I can't imagine many women would be encouraged to open up and share their vulnerabilities in the way that SaoirseB did, when they can see in black and white how it was rewarded with your persistent brand of abuse.

Why do you think women need special protection? Are they just sensitive feeble-minded excuses for human beings? Or do you think they can stand on their own two feet and fend for themselves? You seem to think the former - do you really think that a creature of whatever sex/gender that has survived a bazillion years of evolution is a weak creature?

Methinks it is time to invite Margaret Thatcher 's ghost in here to kick some white knight butt.

 

[Foxhound5366]

Thanks for that Deadmanza, I've been called worse.

And rwenzori, women are every bit as strong as men, and frequently stronger in many other areas. They can, however, still end up being shouted down by enough idiots, and we've seen our fair share of that in this thread.

Before you disagree with me, ask yourself if you really want to defend registerforfree's actions and statements here. I'd be very careful about which horse I back, before I start arguing just for the sake of it.

 

[rwenzori]

They can, however, still end up being shouted down by enough idiots, and we've seen our fair share of that in this thread.

Anyone can, male, female, or woteva. Think in terms of "person", not "woman" or "man". That is the point.

And if someone ( male, female, or woteva ) can hack it on an internet forum, good for them. If they cannot, then let them bugger off and cry to mommy, or go sit on Twitter where you can "block" people you don't like ( or at least *think* you can LOL ).

PS. I'm not in a horse-backing game. I'm in rwenzori's game.

 

[registerforfree]

You: I didn't bring gender into this. Me: Yes you did, here. You: Well, I only did that because she did it first.

And here you go shifting the goalposts again. Jesus christ. First we were a cabal women-haters who tried to chase her away because she's a woman, now simply the fact that we mentioned her gender is a problem.

Would you prefer next time we use completely gender-neutral terms? Would you prefer we baby all women who come to the forums, sugar-coating everything we say and baby-talking them to get them to stay? Isn't the inequality? I thought women wanted to be treated as equals?

 

[registerforfree]

Why do you think women need special protection? Are they just sensitive feeble-minded excuses for human beings? Or do you think they can stand on their own two feet and fend for themselves? You seem to think the former - do you really think that a creature of whatever sex/gender that has survived a bazillion years of evolution is a weak creature?

Methinks it is time to invite Margaret Thatcher 's ghost in here to kick some white knight butt.

Apparently in the fight for gender equality we reached a point where people on forums now have to give females special treatment.

 

[Foxhound5366]

And here you go shifting the goalposts again. Jesus christ. First we were a cabal women-haters who tried to chase her away because she's a woman, now simply the fact that we mentioned her gender is a problem.

Yeah I get that you're getting confused registerforfree, but it's mostly because you're misinterpreting my points to you so consistently, accusing me of saying something I didn't, and then when I prove this to you, you then claim I'm changing tacks *shrugs*

I would PREFER that in the future you don't act like quite so much of an a-hole, baiting somebody (of any gender), when they're making an honest contribution to a relationship thread. You deliberately took this thread off-topic, and have thrown more insults per post than anybody else. If you want to play the victim, be my guest.

Now if you're quite done, I'm tired of you.

 

[STS]

Yeah I get that you're getting confused registerforfree, but it's mostly because you're misinterpreting my points to you so consistently, accusing me of saying something I didn't, and then when I prove this to you, you then claim I'm changing tacks *shrugs*

I would PREFER that in the future you don't act like quite so much of an a-hole, baiting somebody (of any gender), when they're making an honest contribution to a relationship thread. You deliberately took this thread off-topic, and have thrown more insults per post than anybody else. If you want to play the victim, be my guest.

Now if you're quite done, I'm tired of you.

Honest contribution, yes. Helpful? No, it's utterly pathetic