Relationship Warning Signs/ Second Chances

Lush said:
Met a guy a couple of months ago, liked each other from the start but were not official in the slightest, just flirtation. About 4 weeks after I met him, he had a one night stand with a girl.
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He's single. Doesn't mean he'll do it in a relationship.
 
The dude told you he loved you and then ****ed someone else. I wouldn't call that a sign at all...nothing to read into it except that he's stupid.

Like I said, it's all about getting to know the real person. "Whoops! I tripped and my dick landed in her by accident" while you're supposedly in love with another person? I'm sorry, but 3 bottles of tequila doesn't allow me to do that. Phoning my girlfriend telling her I miss her so much and I'm drunk... now that's more my style... (nope, I never drunk dial my ex's, deleted numbers FTW!)

It shouldn't keep you from dating other people though, but I'd stay away from this guy if I were you (mainly because I'm not gay)
 
Slootvreter said:
He's single. Doesn't mean he'll do it in a relationship.
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a guy who admits to being in love with a girl, who turns around and sleeps with another one thinks with his dick. And guys who do that are normally not the good ones. They're the "playa's" (big BIG indication is if they drive a golf of some sort, bet you he drives a VW golf or VW)

Those are the sly ones that appear to be the good one but then do what he did. Nevermind that he told her. There's only 2 reasons why he would tell her:

a) He slept with someone she knows and thinks that by telling her himself would curb the surprise a bit more giving him another shot at the punani.
b) Genuinely felt guilty and felt he needed to say something to clear his own conscience, not withstanding that in all probability he doesn't regret it and would most probably do the same thing again.
c) none of the above, might have been a mistake, but how do you mistakenly get laid? No seriously, I want to know... blue balls here...
 
Lush said:
So you saying that a guy is either a virgin or one who sleeps around???
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No, but the fact that he had this one night stand doesn't make him a promiscuous male-slut either. You get some (poor) guys that only get laid once a year...
 
Lush said:
There are plenty of girls who pursue nice guys. I always have and many of my mates do too. It's easy to pick up a typical guy but nice guys are the one's you hang onto. They're the quality ones :o
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True, but those girls normally already waded through all the bad boys they could and wants to settle down now. The nice guys normally only start to date them and haven't gone through the experience of having girlfriends or anything.

The attraction in women, regardless of nice guys or "bad" ones are initially the same, they just learn to choose the lesser of the two evils and going the "safe" route so they can settle down and make babies.

It's a phase really. I haven't seen many women in the 18-24 age group stick with their long term boyfriends.

You being 22, I don't think you're falling for the good/nice guys. You're falling for those who play you IMO. Even a blind mouse finds a piece of cheese now and again, and that would explain your 3 year stint with your ex. However, (22-3 = 19) = you probably broke up with him because you stopped caring/loving him. And yes, I consider you breaking up with him even if he was doing the breaking upping.... lol... because women who are unsure of a relationship tends to close off emotionally and distance themselves. Once that happens the dude is like "WTF is wrong?" ... "Nothing..." and so the 3-8 month period begins of pain and emotional scarring for him to figure out that you're actually just trying to break up with him hoping he'll break up with you first but can't get it over your heart because "he's been good to me and there's nothing wrong with him"

lol @ my baggage... but hey, I give women a decent shot, they're the ones proving to me that **** always happens...
 
Lush said:
I cannot stand it when some guys do this... They get their heart broken then as soon as their hearts start healing they decide they're gona toughen up and treat girls as badly as they were treated.

They're ultimately just shooting themselves in the foot :( Why let some girl who broke your heart dictate the way you handle your next relationships? If she stuffed up, forget about her. There are some beautiful girls out there just waiting for you
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No, no there aren't. I've noticed that jerks aren't born, they're molded. You can only keep the nice-guy routine going for SO long before you have to start looking after yourself. I'm at the point now where I'm starting to fire my 'friends' who treat me like their gay best friend when I'm nothing more to them than an "intellectual wh0re" when it suits them. Look it up.

Pitbull said:
I personally think it's a way these guys try and protect themselves from getting hurt again. Opening up 100% and leaving their hearts vulnerable is something I think men will only allow once in their lives. But this goes for woman too ;)
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Yep - this explains the above.

Lush said:
Loyal, committed, fun, intelligent, not into sleeping around...

Basically a romantic guy who treats a girl like gold :o



I know... but still :/ Just knowing he can give himself away like that...
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If you get walked over all your life by girls mistreating your chivalry, you'd also end up choosing the easy route to improve your batting average. I do not condone it, but I do understand it.

After all - exactly how long should these nice guys wait around until the girls are done stuffing around and ready to settle down?

Lush said:
Haha only you!

The guy who's every comment is either dirty or has some sort of sexual slant :p

You always up to nonsense :rolleyes:

And no, that last rule of mine is not budging! ;)
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Make no mistake, still waters run deep. Making dirty jokes etc. can be very humorous at times - and some of the most sincere gentlemen I know can have a dirty comedy mind, where it never affects the way we treat women.

I've reached a point in my life where I might seem to be turning into a bastard, but it's simply because I do not regard girls as a priority in my life anymore. The second you make a girl realize that you aren't out to bone her, she loses all power over you. Only then can you evaluate each other on a common basis without prejudice or ulterior motives.
 
Voicy said:
No, no there aren't. I've noticed that jerks aren't born, they're molded. You can only keep the nice-guy routine going for SO long before you have to start looking after yourself. I'm at the point now where I'm starting to fire my 'friends' who treat me like their gay best friend when I'm nothing more to them than an "intellectual wh0re" when it suits them. Look it up.



Yep - this explains the above.



If you get walked over all your life by girls mistreating your chivalry, you'd also end up choosing the easy route to improve your batting average. I do not condone it, but I do understand it.

After all - exactly how long should these nice guys wait around until the girls are done stuffing around and ready to settle down?



Make no mistake, still waters run deep. Making dirty jokes etc. can be very humorous at times - and some of the most sincere gentlemen I know can have a dirty comedy mind, where it never affects the way we treat women.

I've reached a point in my life where I might seem to be turning into a bastard, but it's simply because I do not regard girls as a priority in my life anymore. The second you make a girl realize that you aren't out to bone her, she loses all power over you. Only then can you evaluate each other on a common basis without prejudice or ulterior motives.
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Well said!! +1
 
Voicy said:
No, no there aren't. I've noticed that jerks aren't born, they're molded. You can only keep the nice-guy routine going for SO long before you have to start looking after yourself. I'm at the point now where I'm starting to fire my 'friends' who treat me like their gay best friend when I'm nothing more to them than an "intellectual wh0re" when it suits them. Look it up.



Yep - this explains the above.



If you get walked over all your life by girls mistreating your chivalry, you'd also end up choosing the easy route to improve your batting average. I do not condone it, but I do understand it.

After all - exactly how long should these nice guys wait around until the girls are done stuffing around and ready to settle down?



Make no mistake, still waters run deep. Making dirty jokes etc. can be very humorous at times - and some of the most sincere gentlemen I know can have a dirty comedy mind, where it never affects the way we treat women.

I've reached a point in my life where I might seem to be turning into a bastard, but it's simply because I do not regard girls as a priority in my life anymore. The second you make a girl realize that you aren't out to bone her, she loses all power over you. Only then can you evaluate each other on a common basis without prejudice or ulterior motives.
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Alternatively, you can kick her in the panty ;)
 
It all depends how u look at it though.

I went out with a girl for 3 years and end up stabbing me in the back with my best friend. What your ex did was just plain dumb and inconsiderate and no amount of alchol or anything can justify that.

Took me over 2 and half years to get over that incident but did learn allot of valuable lessons from it thats about the only pro lol apart from the suicidal deppression :p.
 
I was blindsided no warning signs and worst of all is that I heard through her mother that he went to visit her 2 days after she broke up with me over a phone call hasnt even got the decency to do it face to face after a 3 year relationship
 
Lush said:
He wasn't my boyfriend at the time, thank goodness!!! :cool: Just a potential. Would've hurt ten times more if I was actually with him. I am so grateful that he showed his true colours pretty early on though... :rolleyes:

Sorry about your ex :/ Were there any warning signs or were you blind sided? People can be really average sometimes... I am so glad you are now over it and got something out of it though. Don't be depressed over it- be relieved that she showed you what a moron she was before you dated her for even longer! Shows you who your true friends are too...
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Unfortunately you need to find this out while you date some people as they don't normally show you what they're made off from the beginning. I'm waiting for that new movie to come out where they never told a lie. I think it's called "The invention of the lie" or something. Looks pretty funny.

BrianStephan said:
I was blindsided no warning signs and worst of all is that I heard through her mother that he went to visit her 2 days after she broke up with me over a phone call hasnt even got the decency to do it face to face after a 3 year relationship
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I'm going to go out on a limb as I haven't seen a woman do this before, but, all women are **** scared of breaking up with a guy. They're rather alienate him to the point of him breaking up with her rather than face the truth and tell him she doesn't want to be together anymore. To them it is letting us down "easy" where in fact it ****s us up so much that we spend years trying to get over them.

Then on top of that, when they do break up with you and you try to find out why (which in itself should be simple enough to answer seeing as she's been thinking about this for a while right?) they can't answer you. Add another year or two onto that for the "getting over her" bit.

I'd much rather hear, "I don't want to see you anymore because I fell in love with someone else" or "I don't want to go out with you anymore because recently you've been acting like an ******* and even though we've talked about it, I don't want to continue with this relationship"

Now... to a guy that have shown nothing but love, why would she want to break up over the phone or even an SMS? Same ****ing reason why (when using the alienating-way) they think they're letting us down easy and that they can't face (or comprehend) some debate about the situation. Instead of being able to talk things through (even if you break up, I'm not saying talking things through to get back together), they just leave you there hanging... in mid-sentence/thought... and now you... mr "nice guy" have to work through those emotions for years to come when she enjoys boning your best friend 2 days from when you broke up...

People on here say I hate women, or that I dislike them or whatever fancy word you want to throw at me, and I must admit, sometimes I do come across like I hate them, especially with their stupid reasoning of "letting him down easy". We're men, treated like children, getting our balls handed to us from insecure "not so sure what I want out of life" women... then when we do turn into a class A-******* (I'm proud to say I'm one) they bitch and moan about "where have all the nice guys gone"

*sigh*
 
She made up some bull*hit story to y its my fault that she is breaking up with me instead of just saying I have fallen in Love with your best friend and we going out that would have been more easy to comprehend instead of having to work through all the stories she threw me
 
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