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Safferbeauty

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Very interesting. Talking to a friend on mxit.... This guy she is with drinks like a fish and says to her accept me the way I am like my friends do. Don't you think in a lot of ways a girlfriend is more important than just any old friend and she she really accept him getting wasted all the time???
 
If she doesn't like him doing that, then she should get out of the relationship. This guys sounds like he's a bit of an alcoholic if he is getting wasted every time he is in contact with alcohol.
 
thanks guys... He tells her on thursday that he doesnt want anyone only her but when he doesnt get his own way he runs away. How does that work???
 
I read and thanks..... I think he needs a strong male to stand up to him and tell him he is destroying his family. His 13 year old son is living with him now and has to see this....
 
Safferbeauty said:
Very interesting. Talking to a friend on mxit.... This guy she is with drinks like a fish and says to her accept me the way I am like my friends do. Don't you think in a lot of ways a girlfriend is more important than just any old friend and she she really accept him getting wasted all the time???
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I'm sorry but I disagree. And this is why I think so many relationships fail.

Your SO is your friend make that best friend. You need to have a friend/friend relationship. Sure I disagree with what this guy said, but don't place your SO in a league of her own. Unless you and your SO have a friend/friend relationship it's bound to fail. And females don't want to be carried on little golden pillows. They want to be your friend not your little showcase doll. Well that has been my experience and my theory. You don't have to agree with it, but think about it.
 
Yes I can see your point but I think the main problem in this whole thing is the drinking.... He drinks like a fish and puts alcohol before anything else, surely this is not healthy for the relationships and the kids as well???
 
Safferbeauty said:
Yes I can see your point but I think the main problem in this whole thing is the drinking.... He drinks like a fish and puts alcohol before anything else, surely this is not healthy for the relationships and the kids as well???
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The problem here is not with him then ;)

Read what you just typed and think about it for a second.
 
Safferbeauty said:
its the alcohol, not him as a person no.....
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Not what I was trying to indicate to you.

I however don't know this person but I was raised in a house where my father drank so heavy that he would pass out infront of the TV, just to wake up in the middle of the night and drink again till he passes out again. Wake up go to work, rinse and repeat. He and my mother will be married for 36 years come December. He has stopped drinking only about 3 years ago.

He was never agressive to anyone while he was drinking and never bothered anyone. When we where at school still he only drank weekends. When we all finished school he started drinking 24/7. My problem with the above is that she decides to stay with him. She prob knows him better than any of us. If his drinking is a problem for her she would up and leave. My mom wanted to leave my dad lots of times because of it but she never did because she loved him and he's a good man. She used the above threat to get him to stop drinking even though it failed every time :o He eventually quit out of his own for some strange reason.

If his drinking is such a problem for her she should leave. There is no inbetween.
 
That is true but its hard for her as she does love him very much that is also why she has not left him yet
 
My dad was an alcoholic and my mom could have left him any time but she didnt because despite of all the cr@p she loved him very much but in the end alcohol got the better of him and he got oesophogial cancer from red wine and smoking. Alcohol is ok only if its controlled.....
 
Safferbeauty said:
That is true but its hard for her as she does love him very much that is also why she has not left him yet
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Is she happy though?

Let me try and put it this way. Does his drinking make her or the kid/s truly unhappy? Or does it just bother them?

My dad used to make an arse of himself when drunk at his friends and it left me pretty embarresed at times, but we where never unhappy. Bothered us yea, but no one was ever truly unhappy. We had everything we wanted, there was always money in the house and so on. If it gets to a point where they need to suffer to feed his addiction then I would leave if I was her.
 
yes he does but when they get together for like supper or lunch or whatever he is sober but then he starts drinking.....
 
I'm just trying to understand where the conflict is coming from. Does she treat him differently when he is drinking as opposed to him being sober?

Reason I'm asking:
When my dad drank he would be the exact same person he was sober, appart from being pissed ofc :D But no one treated him differently and he didn't treat anyone any different. It would annoy the crap out of me if he kept on repeating conversations and kept on asking for things over and over. But there was never any conflict.

If she doesn't then maybe she needs to get him some help. If he is treating her like a dog when he drinks and this all unprovoked it could lead to something more serious like assault and so on. He sounds like an agressive type of guy. Which btw is the reason I don't drink :o I'm very agressive as a person and drinking just causes problems for me. Took me a while to learn my lesson but glad I stopped.
 
That is good. was it hard. from my personal experience living with an alcoholic, my dad became verbally agressive and it was the worst feeling ever but he would try and make up for all that nastiness....
 
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