If nothing else, this thread has made me grin just a little bit.
Here's the news, new Apple owners... Apple have a release cycle for each one of their products. Always have, always will. Google is your friend but if you don't feel like searching yourself, here's a link to the MacRumors "Buyer's Guide".
http://buyersguide.macrumors.com/
Basically, the products due for updates include the iPhone (actually well past due), MacBook, Mac Mini, iPod Classic, Nano & Shuffle, Mac Pro, Apple Cinema Display and MacBook Air. The iPad is mid cycle so four to six months to go before a new one is out in the States, and even then... what OomD said... There's nothing wrong with the one you have now... nothing at all.
Also, just in case you get all caught up in the rumor mill regarding what each product will or won't feature... 'Till Steve Jobs, Phil Schiller, Tim Cook or someone else from Apple actually introduces it, you'll never really, really know what it'll look like and what the features will be... ever.
Sometimes you'll be delighted with the updates and sometimes you'll be a little disappointed, but even if you are, it'll be okay 'cos lo and behold, a year or so later there'll be another update.
Your current Apple product will still get software updates even when the new one is out (well, until it's four or five generations old anyway) so you won't really be missing out all that much anyway... Take a deep breath, go woosah... Put that panic in our little "boundary box" 'cos we gonna close this box and we gonna throw this b***h in the ocean, and the only way that you can get to this box is you gotta be m**********n' Jacques Cousteau.