Update: you were right to try telkom.co.za/verifyadsl she could access that, so she calls 10215 to get her order number and they talk her through some steps to work out the router had a problem!!
I'm not sure what the problem was, it sounds like the router was hanging and they made her pull out the routers cables and do a whole new setup which seems to have worked.
I cannot thank you guys enough for your help, the mother in law and my wife thank you too!
My wife is going out there next month, I'm going to train her to setup remote desktop and remote access for the router!!
