Seperation anxiety

blunomore

blunomore

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When did your kids stop suffering from this? My child - 15 months - follows me EVERYWHERE, constantly wants to be picked up and held/carried and will generally not let me out of her sight.

It's very endearing and cute, but can become a bit hectic if you need to get things done!

At what age does it pass ?
 
Right about the time they gain a real interest in TV :D

Seriously though, my so is also 15 months and is in the middle of a particularly bad patch of this as well. My daughter is now almost 4 and she is mostly over it. I think it really started to change when she was 2 and a half or so? Depends on the situation though. I know kids who are under a year that have no separation anxiety but they tend to be the kids that are in creche from a young age. Kids that are at home with Mom depending on how they are raised can take a lot longer I imagine.
 
Cius said:
Right about the time they gain a real interest in TV :D

Seriously though, my so is also 15 months and is in the middle of a particularly bad patch of this as well. My daughter is now almost 4 and she is mostly over it. I think it really started to change when she was 2 and a half or so? Depends on the situation though. I know kids who are under a year that have no separation anxiety but they tend to be the kids that are in creche from a young age. Kids that are at home with Mom depending on how they are raised can take a lot longer I imagine.
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pedobear.jpg
 
Both my kids went through episodes of this, lasts a month or 2. Can be annoying especially for the other parent :)
 
add a security tag and when ever she passes a security point it will beep

im sure soon she will get annoyed with the sound and rather not walk through there :p
 
roadcat said:
Both my kids went through episodes of this, lasts a month or 2. Can be annoying especially for the other parent :)
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mine son is 30 months, still does it. sometimes forgets that i am around when his mom is around but still looks for me in the house and hates being let go out of my arms. i think he just feels happier when he is around me
 
blunomore said:
When did your kids stop suffering from this? My child - 15 months - follows me EVERYWHERE, constantly wants to be picked up and held/carried and will generally not let me out of her sight.

It's very endearing and cute, but can become a bit hectic if you need to get things done!

At what age does it pass ?
Click to expand...

What do you expect a 1 year old to do while you getting things done?
Use a leach or panado syrup - its a joke, dont do it.
 
My sister's kids were the same (I forget to say she's a grade 0 - 2 teacher and can handle babies from 3 months up)

She said that she just refuses to pick them up when they ask. She just go about her day and if they follow her etc so be it. She'll obviously give them attention whenever possible, but if she needed to get something done the child had to learn at a young age that their tantrums and/or "up" requests won't really stand with when she is busy.

It does take a while though (the seperation anxiety). I'd say NORMALLY you'd see around 2-3 years old (or for your "months everything must be in MONTHS!!!" types 36-48 months). That was my sisters two daughters. Her son she spoilt into the ground, so he still had some issues with seperation from his mom at age 4 or 5 (60 - 72 months)

As soon as they go to pre-school you're basically free, but it depends on how you raise them from an early age that'll determine their progress later. A friend of mine breastfed her daughter till she was 11. So er... you can just imagine...
 
Haldex said:
What do you expect a 1 year old to do while you getting things done?
Use a leach or panado syrup - its a joke, dont do it.
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If you keep them busy with toys they actually leave you alone, just make sure they're actually INTERESTED in the toy first (playing with them for a bit before you do stuff helps). Just make sure you're in the same room as them while you're busy and they're busy playing or watching Shrek. Shrek helps. :)
 
My daughter had some anxiety around the same age. It lasted about 6 months or so. By the time she was 2 she was bored of us. Her first day of play school she marched in and gave us a wave over her shoulder. My wife was crying buckets but my daughter was already playing with her friend.

My son had it a little longer, specifically with my wife. He is turning 4 in Nov, and still suffers bouts of it every now and then.
 
Parents teach their kids this behaviour without realising. It starts with the mother picking up the infant whenever it cries for attention, and always having the baby on the arm so that it doesn't cry.

Mothers feel like they are bad parents if they don't give their baby attention whenever baby cries.

The behaviour carries on until one day the parents realise that this child just can't be on it's own and then they wonder why.

They need to learn from a few months old that it's ok to be on their own without constant attention and that when they are done with their screaming and crying that they will be ok and that mommy/daddy are still there.
 
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Sensorei said:
Parents teach their kids this behaviour without realising. It starts with the mother picking up the infant whenever it cries for attention, and always having the baby on the arm so that it doesn't cry.

Mothers feel like they are bad parents if they don't give their baby attention whenever baby cries.

The be haviour carries on until one day the parents realise that this child just can't be on it's own and then they wonder why.
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Yea you get it a lot with the attachment parenting types. We know a woman who also bf till 4yrs old and the child is now 8 and still insecure to be apart from her direct presence. Course...she has a lot of other issues we won't talk about.

So there's absolutely no way to tell you how long this phase will last. If the child goes to a creche it will help. But you can try weaning her to get used to prolonged periods of separation from you. Particularly if you have something to distract her with like friends and toys, just leave her alone on the floor and she'll forget you're there.

The problem that happens is they learn to associate your face with safety and equilibrium, the more you reinforce that notion. So the poor things panic if you aren't there. It's quite an understandable reaction.
 
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