Should love be hard work?

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outta_luck

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You meet someone. You're attracted to that someone. You spend time together and become friends. Suddenly you realise that you need more from this situation, namely you want a relationship in the classic sense (yes spiritually and emotionally).

There definitely is something there, but should it just happen or do you really have to work hard at these things to get them off the ground? Does the struggle give sweet satisfaction or is the pleasure in the smoothness of the transition?

So how did it happen for you? Was it easy or did you put in the time and effort to kick start the process?
 
You do have to work at it. It's not going to be sunshine and roses all the time.

That said, if there's more work than fun, and if you're not happy for large portions of time, it's probably not the right relationship for you.
 
CathJ said:
You do have to work at it. It's not going to be sunshine and roses all the time.

That said, if there's more work than fun, and if you're not happy for large portions of time, it's probably not the right relationship for you.
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What she said. Plus:

It should be work but not hard work. Hard work makes you tired.
 
And sadly, no matter how much you want it and work at it - in some circumstances it won't work regardless :(
 
Though I am under the belief that something you want is worth fighting for, even if it never happens. However, when is it time to throw in the towel?
 
Dolby said:
And sadly, no matter how much you want it and work at it - in some circumstances it won't work regardless :(
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That is the saddest truth I know. You can love until your heart bleeds but its just not enough. I would give the world for the man I love, but sometimes no amount of sacrifice or compromise can cross the void that life wedged between us :(

Life is sad. Love is heartbreaking.

(Yes I'm emo, but right now I dont give a damn :( )
 
superB said:
That is the saddest truth I know. You can love until your heart bleeds but its just not enough. I would give the world for the man I love, but sometimes no amount of sacrifice or compromise can cross the void that life wedged between us :(

Life is sad. Love is heartbreaking.

(Yes I'm emo, but right now I dont give a damn :( )
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Yet you still fight for it regardless of the outcome?

Come sit with me on the emo couch SuperB. Cookie? Or maybe some froojooz?
 
outta_luck said:
Yet you still fight for it regardless of the outcome?

Come sit with me on the emo couch SuperB. Cookie? Or maybe some froojooz?
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Yeah I keep fighting for it but is that the right thing to do? Surely if you love someone and you recognise their unhappiness you do what you can to remove the unhappiness? What happens when you are the source? Surely you should walk away? When is it worth the fight and when is it unfair to keep pushing? When is enough enough?

I'll take the froojooz. Less froo more jooz.
 
Dude love is something you have to work at all the time because no matter how much you love someone there will be conflicts, there will be times you want to kill each other. It's just matter of handling it and communication, i never knew how important communication was until this year.

If love to easy it won't last. I believe if love is easy then both parties are just floating through life and not speaking their mind.

I prefer fighting and arguing as it shows both people will stand their ground and only through compromise will you sort the issues out.

Super if your man is not happy with you, move on. No point being in a relationship just because you can, no point holding onto something that does not want to be held onto, you could be missing out on another really awesome man while you waste time in an unhappy relationship. O yes and sex you must be having sex, sexless relationship i believe is doomed to die.
 
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The OP is a bit ambiguous:

Is s/he asking if getting a relationship STARTED is hard work? AKA the other person plays hard to get ...

That is part of the fun of falling in love.

Once you are INVOLVED in a relationship, it takes some sacrifice and effort, but the rewards are wonderful.

The saying goes: "Love is a verb, not a noun.""
 
blunomore said:
The OP is a bit ambiguous:

Is s/he asking if getting a relationship STARTED is hard work? AKA the other person plays hard to get ...

That is part of the fun of falling in love.

Once you are INVOLVED in a relationship, it takes some sacrifice and effort, but the rewards are wonderful.

The saying goes: "Love is a verb, not a noun.""
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Yes, its about getting a relationship started. She has stated not now for her own reasons, some seem reasonable and others merely excuses.

So a lot of chasing, a lot of hard to get and no, it is terrifying, heart-wrenching and not what I would label "fun".

Should the pieces click into place or do you sometimes have to knock a square peg into a round hole to start the relationship? Its all very frustrating. :confused:
 
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Try to make it work /

Try again

Try once more....

then walk away
 
Oh well, whats the worst that can happen? I'll be a few years older and no better off? *shrug*
 
Dude give up the chase, no pointing chasing a chick for years.

You could be missing out on the one by chasing tail.
 
outta_luck said:
Though I am under the belief that something you want is worth fighting for, even if it never happens. However, when is it time to throw in the towel?
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If you're a guy, you're going to have to do the hard work. Women need to be impressed, all the time.
 
killadoob said:
Dude give up the chase, no pointing chasing a chick for years.

You could be missing out on the one by chasing tail.
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Well there is no one else for now, so I see no problem in keeping one eye on the target and watching the rest of the field with the other :/
 
Yea dude you don't always land your target and then imagine when your old and alone and you remember the years you spend chasing someone, you may have found better or the one in those years.
 
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