Some divorce advise please

J

Jacobl

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Maybe the members can advise me about this situation.

The beloved wife decided to move out. Almost immediately after this happened I started receiving Private Number phone calls informing me that she moved in with person X. Attempts at reconciling with the beloved, resulted in her asking when is the divorce. I must add she insisted that I start proceedings, she claims she does not have money. The question is does one believe the moving in stories, at this point in time I do, because this was told to me by various different people.

Any comments will be appreciated.
 
Jacobl said:
Maybe the members can advise me about this situation.

The beloved wife decided to move out. Almost immediately after this happened I started receiving Private Number phone calls informing me that she moved in with person X. Attempts at reconciling with the beloved, resulted in her asking when is the divorce. I must add she insisted that I start proceedings, she claims she does not have money. The question is does one believe the moving in stories, at this point in time I do, because this was told to me by various different people.

Any comments will be appreciated.
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My sympathies for your losses.

I'm sorry I can't comment further, I am not in a position to.
 
Sorry to hear this.

Also sorry, i'm not divorced so cant help you here.
 
I let the practice wife institute proceedings - I'm not sure if it would have made any difference with things.
 
Get her to sign a letter/agreement that indicates that she will not contest the divorce.
Also, draw up a spread sheet of yours/hers and get her to sign that as well.

Then, if she does contest you can force her to pay for the "contesting" because she is breaking her agreement, otherwise, R3500 and a divorce lawyer and you're free (Except for that pesky vows thing).
 
stoke said:
Get her to sign a letter/agreement that indicates that she will not contest the divorce.
Also, draw up a spread sheet of yours/hers and get her to sign that as well.

Then, if she does contest you can force her to pay for the "contesting" because she is breaking her agreement, otherwise, R3500 and a divorce lawyer and you're free (Except for that pesky vows thing).
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He'll be lucky to get away with that. No sensible person (or one with a lawyer) is going to sign anything before he/she sees the division of assets or settlement details even if the grounds for the divorce are uncontested.

@ Jacobl - first step - get a lawyer. Second step - listen to him/her.
 
Better to go talk to a lawyer or else you could burn your fingers ;)
 
Sorry to say this, things can get very messy and things turn ugly in a flash. Get a lawyer, heed their advice and cover your arse.
 
stoke said:
@Bwana, my advice is sound, if she wants the divorce, she'll sign.
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I guess my experience with an "uncontested" divorce greatly differes from yours then. Neither of us contested the grounds and it took about a year.

Whether or not there was an anti-nuptial contract remains unknown and can make considerable difference.

My advice still stands - he should consult a lawyer first thing.
 
Thank's for all the replies

Ok, first things first, there was an antenaptual agreement, she did sign the settlement agreement, and I am waiting for a court date, done the whole nine yards as far as the lawyer thing is concerned. As far as my actual question is concerned, I guess if people are talking about a 3rd party there must be reason for them talking. Any comments ?
 
Jacobl said:
Ok, first things first, there was an antenaptual agreement, she did sign the settlement agreement, and I am waiting for a court date, done the whole nine yards as far as the lawyer thing is concerned. As far as my actual question is concerned, I guess if people are talking about a 3rd party there must be reason for them talking. Any comments ?
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AFAIK a third party is only relevant if they started their relationship before your separation - but then your lawyer should have cleared that up for you.
 
Of course

Ever since she started in this new job, the very important documents that had to be taken to his apartment, leaving for work very early and coming back late, cell phone calls, when we are out somewhere informing her about some important business on weekends. Compliments, that I believed borders on sexual harassment, I mean since when does a manager tell his subordinates they look "sexy". When I tried to address this, she told me that is what he is like.
 
Jacobl said:
Ever since she started in this new job, the very important documents that had to be taken to his apartment, leaving for work very early and coming back late, cell phone calls, when we are out somewhere informing her about some important business on weekends. Compliments, that I believed borders on sexual harassment, I mean since when does a manager tell his subordinates they look "sexy". When I tried to address this, she told me that is what he is like.
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Sorry bro :(.
 
As others have advised - a good lawyer is what you need.

If a third party is involved before the break-up is a key issue, as is it being her choice to divorce, and will be used to relieve you of the burden of paying her maintenance for life. You'll still be liable for maintaining your children till they're through college or varsity.
 
stoke said:
Get her to sign a letter/agreement that indicates that she will not contest the divorce.
Also, draw up a spread sheet of yours/hers and get her to sign that as well.

Then, if she does contest you can force her to pay for the "contesting" because she is breaking her agreement, otherwise, R3500 and a divorce lawyer and you're free (Except for that pesky vows thing).
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I'd not recommend this.

If it's found that she instigated the separation due to a third party involvement etc. she may not be awarded a cent.
 
Wow, I would fight to make sure she leaves with nothing of mine. Her boss can look after her now. It was her choice.
 
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