Sometimes motivated sometimes not?

[Bobbin]

Just want to find out about this from all you good people

Sometimes I can go on for a week or more, I think I have even had longer running spells, where I am completely focussed, in a good mood, able to work long hours without a worry in the world, noticing fine details in things, appreciative, planning well and being highly productive. Basically it feels good like I am on a high and constantly excited and my mind is clear.

Then almost like a turnover happens where it can be for an even longer spell when I am thoroughly demotivated, highly forgetful, procrastinating, emotionless, more fearless of consequence, highly and unreasonably irritable inside, can't work long hours and can't stand up in the mornings without feeling worse than a bleddy hangover.

Then sometime later like next month or two or could be even longer when I somehow find some way to get back on top again after a long haul of problems as a result of all the neglect during the lower phase.

Is this normal? :erm: During the lower phase I sit and think howcome I felt so much better before and how do I get there again but I have this constant drowsy foggy mind block anxiety feeling (sometimes so bad I really feel like I could just drop to the floor and sleep) and I can't figure out how or why :/ and my focus is all shot. Was it something with my diet? Did I not have enough sleep lately? Am I anxious about something? Is my mind a bit screwy? What?

Well I don't really care much if it is normal or not but the real question is how do I get back on top again? That's all I care about Can anyone suggest anything concrete like a diet problem or psychological or just plain damn lazy? Something just don't feel right about it to me :wtf: if this happens to you can you manage it well and if so how? If I am on holiday it wouldn't be a problem, but there is just too much work I need to be doing to have this nonsense :/

 

[Anony-mousse]

somehow it is normal, somehow not, it depends on how intense those high and low episodes are. It could be something like Cyclothymia, which is a mild case of Bipolar Disorder. Look it up and see if you can find similarities.

 

[Bobbin]

Thanks. I read a little on that and it does fit on many points but didn't quite hit the mark on some. But will read up a little more.

Well today is one of the lowest of the low points (when emotionless becomes something unstable). Just got out of bed after serious negotiation with myself lol. And feel like a truck hit me this morning when I first woke up.

These episodes have a real impact on things I do which is what worries me. But other than things at work, of particular importance to me is my relationships. I become a complete emotional wreck in some way and this rollercoaster ride begins. All of it I just can't explain and so much heartache happens. It has got to a point now when I just say to myself here I freakin go again, ok this this and this is going to happen and screw it all. So predictable now I am a little p1ssed off about it. I have made a lot of mistakes during these episodes a lot of which I can deal with now because I know something is up and I am just being irrational so to stop and think.

Well I have as of 10 minutes ago briefly mentioned this to my girlfriend over SMS coz I didn't arrange to see her today. She probably thinks I am crazy now

And a month ago I was the most amazing person to some and so driven and in control of everything

 

[Anony-mousse]

When did those mood swings start? Did anything happen that could be related to this initially?

To me it sounds like general depression rather than cyclothyma or bipolar. The syptoms you describe are very typical. To be honest I think the best is to see a therapist if it goes on like this for longer already.

Did you drink yesterday? Alcohol makes depression much worse the next morning. So do of course drugs.

I don't know how long are you with your girl friend already, I don't know any of your background, but if it is a new(ish) rel.ship you rather don't want to put a strain on it.

 

[scotty777]

hmmm, I seem to be in a very similar situation... but my situation seems to be more over the period of a semester... Last semester I was highly focused, highly motivated, and really was owning university due to my increased levels of energy, and I was able to see things very clearly... this semster, I've had a 180... I'm sloppy, I'm missing obvious details (which is stuffing up my applied maths marks where you have to look at the whole system and it's details). I come home feeling tired and depressed, I'm sleeping later and later, where I used to leave home for university at 6.30 every day, I'm now leaving closer to 7 because I can't get out of bed... I'm sleeping more hours to... does this mean I may have Cyclothymia.

come to think about it, seems like my periods of mania are during summer, and depression is during winter

 

[killadoob]

Tell me something, how do you view the world?

Are pessimistic about everything? Negative?

I have the same thing but i have leveled the mood out with 2 things.
welbutrin which is awesome because i have also quit smoking on it
Positive thinking.

I am always motivated. I am not sure if it is the drugs or the positive thoughts, could be both i guess.

 

[Anony-mousse]

@ scotty: no, it doesn't sound like cyclothymia to me, also more like general depression.

@ kiladoob: are you still on wellbutrin? I was on different antidepressants for 4 years, last year on wellbutrin, I am 'clean' for 2 years now and very happy about it, although it was hell to stop.

 

[killadoob]

Yea going on 3 months.

The best anti depressant i have ever taken. Going to be a bitch to get off it but ya like i said my mood is awesome and level and it makes you hate cigi's so i am a 6 weeks of cigi's. Not sure how i am going to cope when i go off it. If i do. The best thing about it is the appetite control. I do not feel as though i should be stuffing my face with crap all day long .

Actually for the first time in my life i actually feel like i want to do shyte and go out. Pity i never found it before i blew it with my ex but ya at least things are looking awesome. I am just lucky a few of my mates have never abandoned me, no matter how often i blew them off they still tried to get me to go out which i am doing now. Also i don't think everything in life boring now.

Been on a few other anti's but they never helped, welbutrin is amazing for me. It is nice feeling the same everyday as opposed to being happy one day and the next 4 days depressed .

 

[Anony-mousse]

Yea going on 3 months.

The best anti depressant i have ever taken. Going to be a bitch to get off it but ya like i said my mood is awesome and level and it makes you hate cigi's so i am a 6 weeks of cigi's. Not sure how i am going to cope when i go off it. If i do. The best thing about it is the appetite control. I do not feel as though i should be stuffing my face with crap all day long .

Actually for the first time in my life i actually feel like i want to do shyte and go out. Pity i never found it before i blew it with my ex but ya at least things are looking awesome. I am just lucky a few of my mates have never abandoned me, no matter how often i blew them off they still tried to get me to go out which i am doing now. Also i don't think everything in life boring now.

Been on a few other anti's but they never helped, welbutrin is amazing for me. It is nice feeling the same everyday as opposed to being happy one day and the next 4 days depressed .

Sounds great, especially the quit smoking part. The first 3 weeks are the worst. After 3 months you shouldn't even think about it anymore. I stopped smoking 20 months ago, best decision in my life.

Stay on the wellbutrin as long as you think you need it. If it doesn't give you any side effects, which it rarely does, then just take it until you are convinced you don't need it anymore. And coming off it is much easier as going of e.g. paxil, which was a nightmare. I needed wellbutrin to cope with the withdrawal.

but it sounds you are on the right track, just hang in there!

 

[Bobbin]

When did those mood swings start? Did anything happen that could be related to this initially?

To me it sounds like general depression rather than cyclothyma or bipolar. The syptoms you describe are very typical. To be honest I think the best is to see a therapist if it goes on like this for longer already.

Did you drink yesterday? Alcohol makes depression much worse the next morning. So do of course drugs.

I don't know how long are you with your girl friend already, I don't know any of your background, but if it is a new(ish) rel.ship you rather don't want to put a strain on it.

No drugs not even a smoker. I don't drink often either but can have 5 too many beers if occasion calls for it haven't had any recently though. If memory serves it probably started from 18/19 years old onwards, now I am 25.

Been with my girl since mid may and I really feel grateful for meeting her and that is going well too. So far at least.

So this depression seems to come from nowhere :/ and it can be destructive. I guess I am just going to have to work through it like I usually do. Find some new innovative way to get back on track again and hopefully keep everything under control and push through it in the meantime thanks for the help though! appreciate your replies.

 

[Anony-mousse]

No drugs not even a smoker. I don't drink often either but can have 5 too many beers if occasion calls for it haven't had any recently though. If memory serves it probably started from 18/19 years old onwards, now I am 25.

Been with my girl since mid may and I really feel grateful for meeting her and that is going well too. So far at least.

So this depression seems to come from nowhere :/ and it can be destructive. I guess I am just going to have to work through it like I usually do. Find some new innovative way to get back on track again and hopefully keep everything under control and push through it in the meantime thanks for the help though! appreciate your replies.

You are very welcome

The most important thing about depression is that you realize, accept and understand that people with depression suffer from a medical condition. Accepting this, which you do, is the first step to finding out of it.

Read through this page: http://uhs.berkeley.edu/lookforthesigns/clinicaldepression.shtml

This will give you all the information you need to decide whether you want to 'pull yourself out', which can at times be very difficult and demotivating if the depression is too severe or in your case present for years already, or you decide to take the other route by getting mental and/or medical treatment. Sounds like your girl is rather a source of good energy for you and will get your mind off those dark and negative things as well.

All the best ;-)

 

[Jonny Two Shoes]

I wonder sometimes with the prevalence of depression that we shouldn't be more educated at a younger stage? By this I mean not your regular hotline number and asking for help speech but more of a lecture for understanding it. Sure there are genuine reasons for being upset and depressed and many of us go through our normal cycle of ups and downs. Not being any sort of expert I do think however that from the teenage stage onwards we are very prone to depression and it adds considerable amount of damage and confusion for everyone even those who are not sufferers but are affected by others who are.

Perhaps if it is more widely recognised on a personal level as a medical condition that in most cases can be managed without too much effort once it is picked up it could even save lives?

Should I be a parent one day I think I would definately approach my child on the topic and explain it at the right time and help him/her to be able to detect an unreasonable amount of depression that is affecting his/her ability.