Supporting my parents financially

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wonduhboy

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So, long story short:
My parents have hit a bad spot, and are struggling financially (borderline broke).
So I’ve had to step in to help out – just want to make sure I’m doing everything I can:

I’ve asked them to list their monthly expenses to see what they can cut back on (DSTV etc)
List their current debt to evaluate how deep they are.
Trying to get my dad to move to a more stable job (in HR/Payroll etc) as the current sales-based role isn’t working. Not so easy for a 60year old, white male.

I’m also trying to be a supportive son, and not be furious that this now falls on me…

Is there anything else I could be doing?
 
Daruk said:
Sounds like you are doing it right. Don't be harsh on them, they supported you for 20 years. I know it sucks but it's what kids do... Especially considering that you can prepare and still get it wrong... Hard to know what the future holds.
Are either of them old enough to get a SASSA card? As soon as they are they should.
Also, where are they staying? How much do they pay? If they own property, consider getting them into a retirement home - many charge on a "what you can afford basis". Even if you just get their name on a list it could come in handy.
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They're both over 60 - what's the deal/benefit of the SASSA card?
They just sold their house (that we grew up in) and moved into a smaller place closer to my wife and I - not much I think I can do with property right now.

Thanks for your post as well.
 
wonduhboy said:
So, long story short:
My parents have hit a bad spot, and are struggling financially (borderline broke).
So I’ve had to step in to help out – just want to make sure I’m doing everything I can:

I’ve asked them to list their monthly expenses to see what they can cut back on (DSTV etc)
List their current debt to evaluate how deep they are.
Trying to get my dad to move to a more stable job (in HR/Payroll etc) as the current sales-based role isn’t working. Not so easy for a 60year old, white male.

I’m also trying to be a supportive son, and not be furious that this now falls on me…

Is there anything else I could be doing?
Click to expand...

You sound like you are on the right track. Be careful about the switching jobs part though, at that age, he needs to concentrate on best pension/retirement payout. Also keep in mind the hidden expenses in retirement: medical aid etc.

Some ideas:

1. Check what they are eligible now with age: additional discounts, rebates on rates etc
2. Make sure they aren't paying for any excessive insurances ( covers that lapse due to age or aren't worth the money they spend ).
3. Tackle the biggest items : home , vehicle , debt. Be aggressive in dealing with those, ideally should be nil or close to it at that stage.
4. Transport costs: own vehicle vs car pool etc but being in sales, that is probably an issue.

Also, it may sound harsh but don't get taken for a ride. I , in no way or form know your folks but there are horror stories about parents intentionally ruining credit or mooching off their children.
 
wonduhboy said:
Not sure if you're serious about this - if so, how do I go about it?
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Tax rebates apply for folks over a certain age. This is normally pre-calculated though on the PAYE or through the SARS submittance. See where else they can get rebates ie: property rates etc.

wonduhboy said:
They're both over 60 - what's the deal/benefit of the SASSA card?
They just sold their house (that we grew up in) and moved into a smaller place closer to my wife and I - not much I think I can do with property right now.

Thanks for your post as well.
Click to expand...

SASSA is a pension card. Every citizen is allowed a pension payable by government, its not much but it is something. I think its only at 65 though? Be aware, they will do a financial check as well on the person and apply loading if its deemed there are other means of income.
 
eg2505 said:
/subscribing

am in a similar boat to OP,
hard to live and enjoy life when one needs to think about 60 year old parents.
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Its a sad situation nationally that will only get worse I think. Times are harder than before and a lot of children ( Gen X's ) are supporting their ageing parents. Its actually a bit easier now because most GenX have a number of siblings ( one of 4 myself ) but consider how much smaller the GenY is per family? We only have two kids and most I know have one, if we were ever in the same boat, thats a single child who would have to try and help their parents.

My late fathers goal in life was a simple one, give his children the best he could, make them self sufficient and not be a burden back to them. Neither us or he are "well off" but we all succeeded in those goals and wish the same for our children The sad thing is, we're not the norm if I look around. I even jacked my one sibling up as they used to boast they would spend money on their child now so that they could support them in their retirement. I cannot even stomach the thought of burdening my children in that manner at that time of their lives.
 
Kosmik said:
Its a sad situation nationally that will only get worse I think. Times are harder than before and a lot of children ( Gen X's ) are supporting their ageing parents. Its actually a bit easier now because most GenX have a number of siblings ( one of 4 myself ) but consider how much smaller the GenY is per family? We only have two kids and most I know have one, if we were ever in the same boat, thats a single child who would have to try and help their parents.

My late fathers goal in life was a simple one, give his children the best he could, make them self sufficient and not be a burden back to them. Neither us or he are "well off" but we all succeeded in those goals and wish the same for our children The sad thing is, we're not the norm if I look around. I even jacked my one sibling up as they used to boast they would spend money on their child now so that they could support them in their retirement. I cannot even stomach the thought of burdening my children in that manner at that time of their lives.
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thats a sad situation,and I agree the situation is only going to go downhill from here.
but ive noticed its also determined by cultures, I mean there is Black Tax and all that, and one finds 10 people living off the one son who earns a living.

so maybe in some cultures its your duty to take care of older folks until they pass away.
look at the Jewish and Portuguese and Italian cultures,
how will future generations cope? or are we about to hit a very big iceberg when the current generation reaches 60?
 
Daruk said:
southcoastherald.co.za

What you need to know when applying for a Sassa grant | South Coast Herald

Learn more about the requirements to apply for an Older Person’s Grant (Old Age Pension).
southcoastherald.co.za southcoastherald.co.za

My mom sold her place and moved into a block of flats run by a local retirement group. Up front the flat cost R130k or so and depreciates considerably over the next three years so that if she stays longer than 3 years, she gets nothing back if she moves out, but it allowed her to put the remainder of the money she got for her house into a government bond at a fixed interest rate of 8% which gets her some steady money monthly. She reinvests it every 5 years now.
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Thanks again, I think they'll have to look at doing this as some stage - will google around for something similar in JHB.
 
Daruk said:
The place she stays at has flat rate electricity and water included in the monthlies. It's very affordable.
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Any online info on this place?

My folks are pretty much in the same boat. Didn't plan for their retirement effectively. Kids supporting them.
 
Good for you @wonduhboy, it's not easy making your way in life with the added burden of your parents.

Are they in an affordable place? No cheaper accommodation available?

OT: Plenty of parents having to look after adult children and their families too.
 
Daruk said:
Oh and also consider converting to Telkom Mobile and put them on a freeme month to month package. There's a cheap one for like R50 or R100 a month. It gives you free calls to each other, free WhatsApp, free Facebook Messenger and free calls to Telkom landlines. Definitely the best value for money at that level and if you all have Telkom mobile accounts, it saves a ton. Easy to port as well when the time comes for a new contract.
Click to expand...

I'm doing this with my wife and mom, R79pm gets you 500Mb data plus tons of minutes. you can buy network minutes @ 25mins for R17, very affordable.
 
So, carrying on from this, I've found out that my dad has numerous maxed out credit cards, overdrafts and a few personal loans - all totalling close to R200k
What's the best strategy for dealing with these?
Debt rescue?
Sequestration?

If I could manage to scrape some money together and pay them off - do you think the banks would reduce the amounts?
Thinking of anything here...
 
wonduhboy said:
So, carrying on from this, I've found out that my dad has numerous maxed out credit cards, overdrafts and a few personal loans - all totalling close to R200k
What's the best strategy for dealing with these?
Debt rescue?
Sequestration?

If I could manage to scrape some money together and pay them off - do you think the banks would reduce the amounts?
Thinking of anything here...
Click to expand...
Sure someone will point out the best option but just be careful for example

He owes R200k you pay R50k he now owes R150K BUT has R50K available on Credit again.

You will need to make sure that the R50k isn't spent again and more debt is incurred.
 
I would think debt rescue is probably your best bet in terms of keeping things on the straight and narrow.... It will stop them getting more debt so sort of solve one aspect of you helping them and them just getting into more trouble.
 
Snyper564 said:
Sure someone will point out the best option but just be careful for example

He owes R200k you pay R50k he now owes R150K BUT has R50K available on Credit again.

You will need to make sure that the R50k isn't spent again and more debt is incurred.
Click to expand...
Yup, I've already told them if I hear of any other credit, I am walking away.
Also setting them up with a budget, new bank account I will access, weekly expense reviews... basically trying everything here.
Just the R200k debt which I would to handle
 
wonduhboy said:
Yup, I've already told them if I hear of any other credit, I am walking away.
Also setting them up with a budget, new bank account I will access, weekly expense reviews... basically trying everything here.
Just the R200k debt which I would to handle
Click to expand...

Also keep donations tax in mind - if you give them more than R100K in a tax year, you'll possibly be liable to pay 20% on any amount above that.
 
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