This burden,it aint heavy its my sanity

kronoSX

kronoSX

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Well i cant take it anymore.I just need someone to talk to,i cant handle this:(
My ex freely expresses here new man in her life and its really eating me up.After 9 years relationship and a 3 year marriage and giving me wonderful son,I feel i am about to snap:rolleyes:.

I overheard that she and him talking on the phone, will be meeting him tomorrow at 3pm and for some reason i feel betrayed and hurt.I know these are girly words and a man like me is strong at heart and should not care about petty things like this as i am an adult now and not a teeny bobbin.Its just so hard to come to grips with separation an divorce.

I went out last night to a family dinner and all i could think was revenge and hurting this man,and believe me i can hurt people:eek:.2 days ago i saw her in only in a bra and panty,my my how good she looked el diablo .SHe has really gotten her body into great shape and she looks really really sexy.Then she tells me"i look good hey just as thin and curves like you sister"As you know my sister used to be a model in her younger days.:D

Now the question remains,am i still inlove with her,if i am why, i am known to have the heart of stone.i am strong, i bottle everything inside,i show no emotion,I am man.

To hell with what people say about relationships like....dont worry time will heal blah blah......its ok life goes on.Until it happens to you then we can talk.

I am not an emotional person and dont think i have ever cried,i am man
My body is my weapon my mind is my soul,i am man
Human instinct takes over,i am man

So what does this man do well.......we will wait and see.
 
wow thats hectic man, i hope somehow we can help you, t is hard when things like this happen we go through these things in our lives, hell i have been in a similiar situation when all you think about is the other guy or you wife or ex in this case but try not to bottle it up inside and like you have done now talk to a friend about it. keep your mind on other things and dont dwell on what hurts you. dont do anything silly eithe its not worth it, i know i tried it already.

just be strong and take it easy.
 
dablakmark8 said:
Well i cant take it anymore.I just need someone to talk to,i cant handle this:(
My ex freely expresses here new man in her life and its really eating me up.After 9 years relationship and a 3 year marriage and giving me wonderful son,I feel i am about to snap:rolleyes:.

I overheard that she and him talking on the phone, will be meeting him tomorrow at 3pm and for some reason i feel betrayed and hurt.I know these are girly words and a man like me is strong at heart and should not care about petty things like this as i am an adult now and not a teeny bobbin.Its just so hard to come to grips with separation an divorce.

I went out last night to a family dinner and all i could think was revenge and hurting this man,and believe me i can hurt people:eek:.2 days ago i saw her in only in a bra and panty,my my how good she looked el diablo .SHe has really gotten her body into great shape and she looks really really sexy.Then she tells me"i look good hey just as thin and curves like you sister"As you know my sister used to be a model in her younger days.:D

Now the question remains,am i still inlove with her,if i am why, i am known to have the heart of stone.i am strong, i bottle everything inside,i show no emotion,I am man.

To hell with what people say about relationships like....dont worry time will heal blah blah......its ok life goes on.Until it happens to you then we can talk.

I am not an emotional person and dont think i have ever cried,i am man
My body is my weapon my mind is my soul,i am man
Human instinct takes over,i am man

So what does this man do well.......we will wait and see.
Click to expand...

Firstly, not sure who initiated the separation but you need to analyse why you two were no longer compatible. If the lack of compatibility was as a result of your actions then you need to ensure you do not make the same mistakes again if you love someone. If it was her actions then you should have started communicating long before this stage and talking about the issues. You still can perhaps.

In my experience in a long relationship the appeal of something new can sometimes seem more appealing. You two may still love each other but remember that lust and spark that used to be there at the beginning of the relationship, well it is probably not there, but with someone else it will be.... at first. I too made this mistake once by thinking i was in love with someone else but luckily enough realised before it was too late and managed to save the relationship with my girlfriend. In hindsight the other person was not all I had made them out to be but I was being driven by lust for that excitement and spark at the start of a relationship. Something new. Something different. In an older relationship you need to work on it. The choice to work on the current relationship was the best thing I ever did.

The fact that she has got herself in shape also shows this. She had stagnated in the relationship, as you had probably done too. You both felt comfortable and secure with where you were. You know the old joke of "no sex when married", well it stems from this view of no longer needing to make the effort. Now something new has presented itself and she starts making an effort again.

Remember too that humans always want what they can't have. This seems to be the case now. You look like you agreed to the separation but now that she appears to have found someone else you are now wanting her back. If the shoe was on the other foot and you had met someone, how would this be playing out? Reverse the situation. Again the most you can do is communicate with her. It may not achieve anything now as she is being driven by that spark probably but at least then you have told her how you feel. Grovel if you must, especially if the break up was your fault, and if you really want her back! But keep in mind why you did separate, she is still the same person so if there was something you were not happy with remember it will still be there.

You also need to seriously change your views about being a "MAN". Men have emotions too. This may have been part of the problem. You are unable to show emotion so your gf probably doesn't even know how you feel.

Finally, the worst thing you can do is look for revenge on the other guy. Not sure if he was "responsible" for the separation but what has he done wrong? You are separated. She no longer belongs to you, so why blame him. If it was not him then it would just be someone else. As mentioned earlier reverse the situation. Even if you blame him for the break up, was it really his fault? Was it not something you were, or weren't, doing... how can you blame him for that? Besides I can tell you for a fact that exacting revenge on him is not going to win her back!

Anyway I hope some of this helps... I was typing as I was thinking and am not in the mood to go back and ensure it gets me an A+ in an English exam! :)
 
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one of the most greatest advice i could ever get from a person i dont know.Thanks for clearing a few things.Most of it i know already.
btw how old are you,you seem to be educated in lifes journey.
There is only one problem with this whole mess of mine.
I have a rule which sticks with me all through my life,When a women i am in involved with sleeps with another man no matter if i am no longer with her or not.I write them off and bury all that away.

Now i know that our relationship is beyond repair,but i hate this feeling i have.Its unknown to me and it scares me.
Something just came to my attention:rolleyes:I think i actually loved her,and all this time after all these years i thought i was not capable of doing.
****..now what
 
To hell with what people say about relationships like....dont worry time will heal blah blah......its ok life goes on.Until it happens to you then we can talk.
Click to expand...


Not sure who told you time will heal, but they need to get their facts straight.

TIME NEVER HEALS ANYTHING - IT IS WHAT YOU DO DURING THAT TIME, THAT CAN MAKE A CONTRUBUTION TO YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALING.

Good luck ...
 
After reading lancelots post,i did some soul searching and i feel more content.I know why we separated and i am happy with this.
Thanks lance for pointing out the points.
 
dablakmark8 said:
After reading lancelots post,i did some soul searching and i feel more content.I know why we separated and i am happy with this.
Thanks lance for pointing out the points.
Click to expand...

Anything to do with time online? Just asking.
 
dablakmark8 said:
After reading lancelots post,i did some soul searching and i feel more content.I know why we separated and i am happy with this.
Thanks lance for pointing out the points.
Click to expand...

It's pleasure dablak. I merely shared what I have learnt in life.... and I like to think I am not that old! ha ha ;)

You will find that everyone goes through the same things in life. We have the same emotions. We all just deal with these things differently.
 
LancelotSA said:
It's pleasure dablak. I merely shared what I have learnt in life.... and I like to think I am not that old! ha ha ;)

You will find that everyone goes through the same things in life. We have the same emotions. We all just deal with these things differently.
Click to expand...

Except for the psycopaths amongst us :D
 
The Eagles sang "...they will never forget you till somebody new comes along..."
I guess that works both ways. Maybe if you did not see her anymore and found someone else to focus your attention on things would get better.
 
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