TikTok (Formerly Musical.ly)

[The_Ogre]

My kids can no longer stand still or walk properly.

Who was it who said they desperately want kids, but due to an unfortunate incident with a horse when he was a teenager, he's one ball was kicked clean out of his nutsack and the other one no longer works.

10 pineaples and 4 x 2.5kg sugar and you can come fetch my kids

 

[ShaunSA]

My kids can no longer stand still or walk properly.

Who was it who said they desperately want kids, but due to an unfortunate incident with a horse when he was a teenager, he's one ball was kicked clean out of his nutsack and the other one no longer works.

10 pineaples and 4 x 2.5kg sugar and you can come fetch my kids

Are you still pretending they're your kids?

 

[The_Ogre]

Are you still pretending they're your kids?

Unlike you and your boyfriend, we procreated naturally (the way the good lord designed us to do) via IVF. Twice.

The reason why I know they're my kids is because I was there when I jacked off into that vaseline sized container. You won't believe what happened the first time. When I was told to start milking, I whipped it out right there and started whacking it. The receptionist was taken aback when she turned around to ask me why I was still there.

With my second kid, the receptionist was replaced by a guy, which explained my youngest's tomboyish behaviour.

 

[MirageF1]

Unlike you and your boyfriend, we procreated naturally (the way the good lord designed us to do) via IVF. Twice.

Not entirely naturally. I don't believe Adam and Eve had access to a lab and test tubes.

Classic post nevertheless ( apart from the ever so slight oversight)

The reason why I know they're my kids is because I was there when I jacked off into that vaseline sized container. You won't believe what happened the first time. When I was told to start milking, I whipped it out right there and started whacking it. The receptionist was taken aback when she turned around to ask me why I was still there.

With my second kid, the receptionist was replaced by a guy, which explained my youngest's tomboyish behaviour.

Aback - err from the behind you mean ( or did you finish in her bottom?)

Guy - ok help me a little with this one. Are men now getting pregnant these days..sh*t I've lost track with all these new types of raspberry flavoured mutant sexes.
In my day we only had binary, 0s and 1s.

 

[Grant]

10 pineaples and 4 x 2.5kg sugar and you can come fetch my kids

You're over reaching there with price.
I'll give you a box of hamster food and a slightly scratched Boney-M Christmas CD.
You deliver.

 

[The_Ogre]

You're over reaching there with price.
I'll give you a box of hamster food and a slightly scratched Boney-M Christmas CD.
You deliver.

****.

OK

 

[Hamster]

Wat DEFOK!

 

[MirageF1]

Wat DEFOK!

I found OP's request very reasonable and his approach to the problem measured and understanding, actually.

A bit like our own Napoleon and his troops.

 

[R13...]

What's with the tiktok?

 

[grok]

It's like a pendulum, swings to the one side.. "TIK", then back the other way.. "TOK"

A bit like Mantashe's stomach, just a bit less throw-up-in-your-mouthey..

 

[SAguy]

This Tuesday thread had great potential for a Friday thread.
Natural procreation... but via IVF
Taking receptionists from behind
Men giving birth

 

[The_Ogre]

What's with the tiktok?

If you have to ask, you probably don't have kids.

It's this new video sharing schit that every kid and his dog has on their phones. Actually, not that new as it was formerly called Musical.ly

10 TikTok Dances to Learn at Home

Ranked by difficulty.

www.thecut.com

Just as the currency of early Instagram was photos of latte art, the currency of TikTok right now is 15 to 30 second dances. The pros — in this case, teen or 20-something dancers — make up choreography, and sometimes it catches on, inspiring other people to upload their own versions. It’s like the macarena, or Soulja Boy, but harder and made for your viewing pleasure. Even Hailey and Justin Bieber are doing them.

 

[saor]

10 pineaples and 4 x 2.5kg sugar and you can come fetch my kids

Starting a tiktok farm in August, currently seeking 'residents'. 1 x 2m rooms, 3 meals a day. They just gonna churn out content that'll mostly get reposted to reddit for karma and reddit gold. If you no longer want your kids, will happily accept for 10 pineapples per kid provided they not mingers.

 

[TheMightyQuin]

My kids do schoolwork and then sport all day long...

Then online gaming with friends afterward.

So they're completely under control.

 

[R13...]

If you have to ask, you probably don't have kids.

It's this new video sharing schit that every kid and his dog has on their phones. Actually, not that new as it was formerly called Musical.ly

10 TikTok Dances to Learn at Home

Ranked by difficulty.

www.thecut.com

Lol I've heard of it but assumed it was some kind of game app

 

[Grant]

My kids do schoolwork and then sport all day long...

Then online gaming with friends afterward.

So they're completely under control.

do you have any price in mind ?

 

[Magnum]

do you have any price in mind ?

Ill offer my Sasol stock.

 

[Grant]

Ill offer my Sasol stock.

for that you should consider yourself fortunate to be offered 3 slices of glow-in-the-dark listeria infested polony !

 

[Magnum]

for that you should consider yourself fortunate to be offered 3 slices of glow-in-the-dark listeria infested polony !

I tried...

 

[Smokey mcpot]

My kids do schoolwork and then sport all day long...

Then online gaming with friends afterward.

So they're completely under control.

wanna trade for a fun kid?