Time with kids and working

[B-1]

3 hours is quite a lot, many parents only get to spend bath time and maybe some breakfast time with their kids. But if you spend some quality time with them on the weekend its still good. I dont think time is as much a factor as being engaged and spending the time you have with them well.

 

[bwana]

Your work times are completely normal (we both work from 0630 to 1730 with breaks)

Unless you're taking two hours of breaks an eleven hour day is not "completely normal". 45 hours is considered the maximum normal working time per week under the BCEA.

 

[|tera|]

Children need time and attention, at any age. Parents, especially new parents need to learn that children need their own time too.

That's the joys of large families. Grew up in a large household, dad worked the whole day. Some years mom worked, other years she was stay at home. Either way we always had time together and time to ourselves.

Don't force it and you can't do any of it without love. Which the majority of people have for their own children.

I'm not a dad and won't be. I'm an uncle quite a lot of times over and that's enough for me.

 

[RedViking]

People also forget about their spouses. Your wife needs just as much attention.

 

[RedViking]

I'm not a dad and won't be

Please. Don't.

 

[|tera|]

Please. Don't.

Don't what dude?

 

[RedViking]

Don't what dude?

Make babies.

 

[|tera|]

Make babies.

I won't. Did you drop your spectacles?
I'm not not as bad of a guy as you might think. Even so, I'm nowhere healthy enough to make any decisions like that or even be in relationships.

I'm also not dipping here and there either.

 

[Ecco]

3 hours is quite a lot, many parents only get to spend bath time and maybe some breakfast time with their kids. But if you spend some quality time with them on the weekend its still good. I dont think time is as much a factor as being engaged and spending the time you have with them well.

Yeah it's bath time, with some play time before bath time and a little at breakfast.

Was feeling it was too little.

Wish it could be more. Guess this is the rat race we live in.

 

[|tera|]

Yeah it's bath time, with some play time before bath time and a little at breakfast.

Was feeling it was too little.

Wish it could be more. Guess this is the rat race we live in.

In my personal opinion you should never feel guilty, sad or even bad when not being able to spend the time right now.
Everything you are doing for your family right now could reap massive rewards for you in future.

Just be patient. Not every day is the same and we all grow up.
Enjoy the time you spend with your family and your children.
That's the most important.

You are building a life for her and she will thank you for it.

 

[syntax]

A lot of people casually are saying work less or change jobs. From what I have seen the job market is a bloodbath and it is probably not the easiest time to cut productivity or just change jobs.

I used to work really stupid hours and it contributed heavily to the dissolving of my marriage.
I still work pretty long hours but we do a nice breakfast together every morning, I get the car ride to school to interact with my kid.
I stop work at 5pm sharp and refuse to answer calls or emails until my daughter is in bed. I then work again from around 9pm until I finish

This gives me around 1.5 hours in the morning, 4 hours in the evening.
Even so, sometimes during the day I feel guilty and bad that my daughter wants my attention but I am stuck working. However, I think it is as good a balance as I am going to get at the moment and she needs to learn that she cant have all my attention all the time.

Weekends we spend a lot of time together which is rad.

I think you will always feel like you should be spending more time, thats a good thing. At least you want to and are doing your best.

 

[powermzii]

Its not easy my guy... Have an almost 2yr old. At least i get to hang with her in the mornings a bit and again from about 5 till bedtime which is around 9 but you have to be intentional. I have work waiting for me right now but i choose to hang with the family...

 

[Milano]

Hey friends,

Just want to know how you all manage with limited time with your kids.

I have a small child, less then 2 years, and she is becoming very active, sociable and wants to engage with other people.

Beause of work, I dont get much time to spend with the kid. While I do work from home as a result of COVID, its usually a super busy day, without too many breaks. Pre-COVID I would be out the house by 07h00 and only back at 18h00. I get a bit more time in now, but its at most approx 3 hours between the morning and the evening.

How did people manage with so little time to bond with their kids then and now? Any suggestions? Its a bit sad at how little time we can give them. Just want to hear what other do, or how they cope.

Thanks

Have the opposite concern. Our 3 year old daughter is always with wife and I. Cannot be good either but will only get an opportunity to enroll her in kindergarten next year as she is home schooling atm. I would like to have her socialising at school.

 

[Peon]

The fact that you are aware of the issue to the point that you talk about it on a forum tells me you on the right path.

Just find a way to spend more time with your little one.

 

[surface]

Unless you're taking two hours of breaks an eleven hour day is not "completely normal". 45 hours is considered the maximum normal working time per week under the BCEA.

I get you. I easily take 1 hour break but there are micro-distractions (TM thanks) which I try to compensate for. I should probably be working 1 hour less (if I eliminate distractions) but it is fine for now.

p.s. Look, you took 5 minutes of my time now. You know what I mean by micro distractions?

 

[surface]

Yeah I don't get breaks during the day. But I don't need to catch up at night like you guys do.

See. That is good thing then. Everyone's work "culture" is different.

 

[surface]

Make a second kid, and then a third -that way, they'll keep each other occupied, and you’ll quickly be fed up of spending time with them.

Reminds me of trying to solve a problem by using regular expressions. And thou shall have 2 problems now.

 

[s0lar]

I also grew up with parents that ran their own successful businesses. Hardly ever saw them and when I did they were always talking or preoccupied with business matters.

I always make time for the kids on weekends. Which is not enough, this was the big decision I took with my wife for her to become a stay at home mom. She is able to give them the attention now. Wish it was me and hope they realize I was absent due to having to provide for the family when they get older.

 

[surface]

Yeah it's bath time, with some play time before bath time and a little at breakfast.

Was feeling it was too little.

Wish it could be more. Guess this is the rat race we live in.

It doesn't matter how much time you spend with your kids as after a while, one will always ask oneself as to why I didn't spend enough time. I was brought up in a joint family and elders were always around us and when I talk to them now, they feel they should have spent more time with us. I assure them they spent enough time. It never sounds enough to us looking backwards and I think it is just a human nature.

 

[surface]

This thread reminded me of a year when our then CEO took 20+ million bonus and we all got 250 rand takealot vouchers. Work is really not worth what we put in unless you happen to be like that CEO.