No, no, when you see the Times, how dishonest they are, when you see the Washington Post, how totally dishonest -- when we leave -- and I actually say this: they are all doing numbers that they've, like, never done. When I announce, they are going to endorse me. Because if I lose -- should I lose -- or if I don't run, they're out of business. Who's going to cover? They're going to cover Bernie? Hey, they're going to cover like sleepy Joe Biden? They're going to cover Pocahontas who was? Think of it. Think of it, she of the great tribal heritage. What tribe is it? Let me think about that one. Meantime, she's based her life on being a minority. Pocahontas -- they always want me to apologize for saying that and I hereby -- oh no, I want to apologize. I'll use tonight. Pocahontas, I apologize to you. I apologize -- to you I apologize.
To the fake Pocahontas, I won't apologize. No, it's causing problems. You know that's name causing -- because now even the liberals are saying take a test. Take a test. You know, the -- I tell you, I shouldn't tell you because I like not to give away secrets but this one. Let's say I'm debating Pocahontas, right?
I promise you I'll do this. I will take -- you know those little kits they sell on television for $2. Learn your heritage. The guy says I was born in Scotland, it turns out he was born in Puerto Rico. And that's OK. It's good, you know. Guy says I was born in Germany, well, he wasn't born in Germany. He was born someplace else. I'm going to get one of those little kits and in the middle of the debate when she proclaims that she's of Indian heritage because her mother says she has high cheekbones. That's her only evidence, that her mother said she had high cheekbones. We will take that little kit and say, but we have to do it gently.
Because we're in the me-too generation so I have to be very gentle. And we will very gently take that kit and we will slowly toss it, hoping it doesn't hit her and injure her arm even though it only weighs probably two ounces. And we will say, I will give you a million dollars to your favorite charity, paid for by Trump, if you take the test so that it shows you're an Indian. You know.
And let's see what she does. I have a feeling she will say no but we will that for the debates. Do me a favor, keep it within this room. Because I don't want to give away any secrets and the press is very honorable, they won't. Please don't tell her what I just said. Democrats are launching outrageous attacks against our incredible law enforcement and our ICE and border patrol.
The new platform of the Democrat party, and by the way, I call it the Democrat party. It sounds better rhetorically, you know. I wrote best sellers, I guess I speak well. You know, we turned away thousands of people. They never say I'm a great speaker. Why the hell do so many people come? Why -- I don't think -- it's true, why do they come? Why? Why, oh why, do they come? It's got to be something. I guess they like my policy -- maybe my policy. No, it's true. Have you ever noticed, you never hear that -- you never hear that. You never hear it. I mean, there's got to be a reason. I have broken more Elton John records, he seems to have a lot of records and we beat -- and I, by the way, I don't have a musical instrument.
I don't have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ and lots of other people help him. You know we've broken a lot of records. We've broken virtually every record because you know, look, I only need this space. They need much more room for basketball, for hockey, for all the sports. They need a lot of room. We don't need it. We have people in that space, so we break all these records. But really we do it without like the musical instruments. This is the only musical, the mouth, and hopefully the brain attached to the mouth, right? The brain, more important than the mouth is the brain. The brain is much more important.
Any guesses as to whom the speaker is? One clue: It's a subtle genius that ring wingers voted for.
Fox Business Host Calls Former President George W. Bush a 'Radical' Liberal
When did Alan start hosting a business show on FOX?
