Was I wrong?

Why had you spoken to your brother about this before? I assume that he smacked your kid before - and maybe your kid had whcked him in the nads before.

Assuming that is all true - why had your kid not learnt before?

I agree - don't smack a kid upside the head.

It does seem that some of life's lessons got lost, and from some of the reaction from your family it may be that your kid was in need of some discipline. I don't know, I wasn't there. But the ball in now in your court - you need to make it up to your brother even though he whacked your kid. And then you need to sort out the discipline process. If your kid whacks people in the nads for fun you need to do something about it because around the wrong people he could get seriously hurt
 
Pitbull said:
I agree that what my kid did was wrong. The 2 of them play sometimes and my boy gets a little rough sometimes. But in no way would he have aimed to hit him in the nuts. He's 3 yo he doesn't know better. And I have been struck in the nuts by him a few times by accident. I don't slap him against the head ;)
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well my dad always told me:
"grootmense is nie jou speelmaat nie, as jy seerkry dan moet jy nie by my kom huil nie"
 
its a hard situation, I don't have any kids of my own but I can only imagine what goes through your head when you see someone doing that to your child, be the bigger man apologise to your brother and your dad, and explain the situation to your son, he's 3, it wont make sense right now but one day it will and you'll be glad you did, he needs to see that you made a mistake (your reaction) but a good person realises this and can apologise and learn from it, he needs to be told that everyone makes mistakes but you need to learn from these (and set a good example)

and don't worry about your brother, he'll get over it, no man worth his salt will hold something like this against his brother

edit: and on your brother, speak to him about it, till him your sorta see where he is coming from and if there is an issue with the child it needs to be discussed and sorted out
 
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Albereth said:
Why had you spoken to your brother about this before? I assume that he smacked your kid before - and maybe your kid had whcked him in the nads before.

Assuming that is all true - why had your kid not learnt before?

I agree - don't smack a kid upside the head.

It does seem that some of life's lessons got lost, and from some of the reaction from your family it may be that your kid was in need of some discipline. I don't know, I wasn't there. But the ball in now in your court - you need to make it up to your brother even though he whacked your kid. And then you need to sort out the discipline process. If your kid whacks people in the nads for fun you need to do something about it because around the wrong people he could get seriously hurt
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The last time he smacked my kid against the head I wasn't there. The wife saw it. My kid walked past him playing his PS2 and by accident his foot got stuck on the cords and it unplugged the remote control.

That evening I told my brother that if he does it ever again I will send him to ICU. He laughed and said I can try. That was about 4 months back give or take.

I guess I had a personal agenda with this as well since I was provoked before by him saying I can try. But when I saw him hitting my kid against the head I was beyond myself.
 
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Pitbull said:
I agree that what my kid did was wrong. The 2 of them play sometimes and my boy gets a little rough sometimes. But in no way would he have aimed to hit him in the nuts. He's 3 yo he doesn't know better. And I have been struck in the nuts by him a few times by accident. I don't slap him against the head ;)
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YOu were wrong to get so angry, but and it's a big but!!

It felt good didn't it????? :D:D

Been there done that, I apologised but i still have the brag rights’:D


Sibling rivalry you just corrected the pecking order again and he will know better it in future.
 
The poor kid probably feels like the whole thing was his fault... you need to speak to him.

I won't judge you for what happened because I react in the same way... it doesn't make it right though.

Next time take him round the corner and sort him out. Obviously he was in the wrong, A: for hitting another persons child B:for hitting him on the head.

I suppose that you need to sort things out with your brother as well, I know that it sounds a bit gay but you might need to take your kid and wife and apologize to him in front of them and then he can apologize to your kid.

The kid need to learn that he made a mistake, the uncle overeracted and you did as well.
 
hoegh said:
its a hard situation, I don't have any kids of my own but I can only imagine what goes through your head when you see someone doing that to your child, be the bigger man apologise to your brother and your dad, and explain the situation to your son, he's 3, it wont make sense right now but one day it will and you'll be glad you did, he needs to see that you made a mistake (your reaction) but a good person realises this and can apologise and learn from it, he needs to be told that everyone makes mistakes but you need to learn from these (and set a good example)

and don't worry about your brother, he'll get over it, no man worth his salt will hold something like this against his brother

edit: and on your brother, speak to him about it, till him your sorta see where he is coming from and if there is an issue with the child it needs to be discussed and sorted out
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The problem I have now is that I don't want my kid to think that I'm sorry for standing up for him. But I also don't want to give him the idea that what I did was right. This is the problem I have currently. How do I make him understand his dad will always be there for him if needed but what I did (the Fighting) was wrong. (Even though I feel it was justified I don't want my kid to think violence is the solution)
 
Don't worry he is 3. He'll forget about it soon enough.

I can't remember jack from when I were 3.
 
20/20 highn sight (or how ever you spelts it) everyone is saying you should have done this you should have done that. but what is needed is some controle and the need for your laaitie to know right from wrong
 
Dude

Your kid's 3 he won't remember it at all. I wouldn't worry too much about that, however just sit him down and explain that hitting a bloke in the nuts is not cool and he should be careful. Don't apologise to him for klapping your bro. He saw his dad stick up for him so in a weirdy way it's teaching him you'll protect him.

I know you say you couldn't care less about the family which is cool however if it turns out to become a long drawn out feud in the family you're denying your kids access to a family unit ie: grand parents/uncles/aunts etc.

I say be the bigger man, apologise to your bro, explain why you went ballistic on his ass shake hands and then speak to your dad, apologise for the fight, tell him you've kissed and made up and that it won't happen again.

Been here before and seriously it's not worth losing contact with your family for. Times a healer and in a few years time you'll all be laughing about it.

I feel your predicament, I see red when my folks and family "disciplining" my boy, and I have to control it and I do so by realising he's getting the right type of discipline from people he loves and trusts. Wasn't cool for your bro to klap the mini you on the bonce though.
 
Pitbull said:
I disagree to a degree.

Yes, if I'm not around and my kids are naughty by all means my dad or mother can spank them if needed. They are parents themselves and understand punishment. My brother on the other hand has nothing to do with my kids, he doesn't have kids of his own so he has no right to punish my kids by any means.

And yes, if he gave him a spank on the bum that would have been a different story. But to slap my kid against the head so that his ear was all red ..... NEVER!
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Yeah I guess it depends on the particular individual and your brother sounds like one of those Breker tipes so I wouldn't trust him to give out fair punishments.

Pitbull said:
The last time he smacked my kid against the head I wasn't there. The wife saw it. My kid walked past him playing his PS2 and by accident his foot got stuck on the cords and it unplugged the remote control.

That evening I told my brother that if he does it ever again I will send him to ICU. He laughed and said I can try. That was about 4 months back give or take.

I guess I had a personal agenda with this as well since I was provoked before by him saying I can try. But when I saw him hitting my kid against the head I was beyond myself.
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:eek:
Ok, I take what I said earlier back. I think you acted wrong. You should broken something in his body. If someone ever took out their stupid frustrations on my kid I would break them. Especially after I've warned them not to.
 
So wierd how one simple action can take a turn to be something so massive. I never even thought it would turn out the way it did. Or at least never even thought at all before I took him on. But the fact that my kid saw it is haunting me though :(
 
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Pitbull, I would have done the same. If you had let your brother get away with it, you would have been a piss poor excuse for a father.

Your brother and especially your father should stop and think why you reacted the way you did. No matter what people will say about your son seeing you hit someone, he'll remember you sticking up for him even against your own flesh and blood.
 
Pitbull said:
Long story short.

My brother slapped my little boy on Sunday for hitting him in the balls. (He was trying to play with my brother and he hit him in the nuts by accident.) Now my Brother is a big guy and because of this he thinks he can do as he please.

The moment I saw hit hitting my kid against his head I jumped down from the trailer and hit him a few times. A scuffle ensued and I got another few hits in this all while my dad tried to calm the situation.

All of this happened in front of my little boy, my wife and my dad.

I gave him quite a hiding and he needed stitches to his left eye. The problem now is that my dad says it was uncalled for and I had no reason to hit my brother. a Massive family fight ensued, I took my kids and the wife and left. My dad pissed me off for standing up for him hitting my kid which is 3 years old.

So now my whole family is cross at me for standing up for my kid. (Pls note this was not the first time he slapped my son and I have warned him before)

Anyway, I'm now without a family because of this, I just need to know if I was right in all of this... Just thinking of this now makes me livid again... I can kill him I swear.
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your brother was a idiot but you were also an idiot. you were supposed to be a bigger man by not fighting him and telling him that is he is an idiot...

but i guess emotions were high and being rational was out of the question...

your brother is also wrong... but it sounds like you wanted to kill him,
 
The short version is that I reckon if you can get on good terms again with your brother, any mental trauma your boy went through will soon be forgotten when he sees you guys together again in happy mode.
 
i think you should call your brother and father and sort it out...
 
your father should also not taken any sides... but i guess he thought that you being the bigger one would not act the same way your brother acted...

no one is right here... just call them and sort it out period...
 
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