Wedding : first dance

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mooks

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So, my SO and I have been discussing getting married (how exciting!) but we have very different ideas on how the wedding would be structured. He is quite traditional in his approach, whereas I am pooping myself from nerves about some of the more 'standard' elements of a wedding.

Biggest source of anxiety is the first dance. He wants one, I don't. I cant dance. At all. I also hate being the sole focus of attention for a room full of people. I KNOW I will do something completely humiliating purely out of stupidity and a desire to escape the situation. Now, on the one hand I would hate to regret NOT doing it in years to come & obviously I'm not the only one who has a say on this, but simultaneously I dont want to spend my wedding day fretting about 3-4stupid minutes of my life. I want to enjoy said day.

How important was your first dance at your wedding? Is it an experience that you could have done without?
 
Chat to your best man and bridesmaid and both your sets of parents....

Get on the floor for the first 20 seconds and let them join in ASAP.
 
Or just practice one little routine for the evening (and also, what ^ said).
 
The whole thing just feels like an invasion of privacy - is that extreme? If I had my way, I would have a civil ceremony and a party afterwards, but again: I'm not the only one with a say here. I like the idea of having the bridal party join the dance floor though. It's easier to hide in a crowd ;)
 
You worry about crap. The guests are all people you know. I can't even remember that part of our wedding so well. Yeah, we danced for less then a minute or so until the others joined in. It was fun. You'll enjoy the attention. That I remember well. In 3 years I we are married for 20 years. Funds permitting, I will invite all the guests we had at our wedding. I remember to have stressed about the speech I did make but it was great. I was stupid to have worried. Everyone wants YOU to enjoy it and they will enjoy it too. Is not about embarrassing you. And even if you make some stupid thing, it will be seen as funny and people will enjoy. You really worry about nothing. But I guess, that's part of the deal too. Go have fun girl :D The real worries will begin afterwards, over the coming years. Ask me all about it :D
 
Daggering for the dance. After that everything will seem tame :D
 
Just choose a slow romantic song where all you have to do is shuffle back and forth with the spotlights on you. 1-2minutes is plenty then the others can join in. Seems like a mountain/molehill situation here.
 
You'll be flying on the day, so believe me when I say that the dance will be the least of your worries ... :)

Best of luck - and enjoy the day !
 
Perhaps perform a strip-tease? That way nobody will be looking at your face.
Seriously though, just do it (a simple shuffle-type dance), and no one will mock you at all. Also call on other guests to join in.
 
I can't dance either - but as I understand it, you just have to relax enough to follow your partner's lead, assuming he knows what he's doing. He's supposed to make you look good. :D

How about taking a few lessons? Dance studio's sometimes have introductory offers for a few cheaper lessons, which may be enough to build your confidence.

Friends of mine chose a morning wedding so they wouldn't have to dance (the groom feels the same way you do).
 
Go for lessons to learn a very basic dance routine that lasts 2-3 mins. Put on your big girl panties and relax. :p
 
If we could do it over we would've skipped the first dance. We didn't want to and no one cared. It's your day, do what you want.
 
How old are you Mooks?
The reason why I ask is because you seem very insecure about yourself and are worried to death about making mistakes in front of people.
I've been there and done that but as I get older I've learn't that what other people think really doesn't matter.

I can't dance but I did manage to do a shuffle to slow music at my wedding and it was perfect.
I picked Mark Schultz - 1000 Miles and sang it to my wife as we danced (I needed tissues afterwards). I will never forget the moment.
Yes, I did step on my wife's toes a couple of times and lost the lead when her dress got in the way but it didn't matter.

There is no need to do those practiced, fancy dances at your wedding to show off (unless you want to).
It's your day so you get to do what you want, how you want and stuff everyone else who thinks otherwise.
 
Neither of us can dance so we matric slow danced... thats where you hold each other and sway from side to side. It was kak...

But you have to have a first dance as it opens up the dancefloor and turns a wedding from a dinner into a jol... just remember no one at your wedding is judging you, everyone there is there to support you.
 
doobyscoo said:
Neither of us can dance so we matric slow danced... thats where you hold each other and sway from side to side. It was kak...

But you have to have a first dance as it opens up the dancefloor and turns a wedding from a dinner into a jol... just remember no one at your wedding is judging you, everyone there is there to support you.
Click to expand...

hahaha .....people at indian weddings go for the food, the set up and how the people looked ....after the weddings thats the topic of conversation

You and your SO will always look nice on the stage no matter how you look
 
Hi Mooksy Mooks,

Firstly i'd like to congratulate you on your upcoming nuptials.

It's your wedding not Strictly Come Dancing, it shouldn't matter how you look up there. People are only there to eat anyway. So drop it like it's hot and all the best for your future.

Regards,
Abzo.
 
Go for a few dancing lessons - I bet you can dance, at least practise the one dance you want to do, and having practised and being prepared will allow you to be more confident about it!
 
Paul_S said:
How old are you Mooks?
The reason why I ask is because you seem very insecure about yourself and are worried to death about making mistakes in front of people.
I've been there and done that but as I get older I've learn't that what other people think really doesn't matter.

I can't dance but I did manage to do a shuffle to slow music at my wedding and it was perfect.
I picked Mark Schultz - 1000 Miles and sang it to my wife as we danced (I needed tissues afterwards). I will never forget the moment.
Yes, I did step on my wife's toes a couple of times and lost the lead when her dress got in the way but it didn't matter.

There is no need to do those practiced, fancy dances at your wedding to show off (unless you want to).
It's your day so you get to do what you want, how you want and stuff everyone else who thinks otherwise.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your input Paul_S (and rest). I know that I am making a mountain out of a molehill, and that I shouldnt really care about what other people think. The irony is that I am actually a very confident person and I'm seldom one to hold back due to insecurities. Problem is though, that because I spent most of my life getting high (I'm clean for a few years now) there are certain situations that I've never learnt to deal with sober - one of which is public speaking (and similair situations). BUT, new life, new leaf and all the rest. There will also be so many people from my SO side that I've never met before (family and friends from SA & Australia that will fly over) so that is also a bit unnerving.

On a far more shallow note, most first dances I've seen have been super cheesy. And I hate cheesy. The thought of people going 'awww, how sweet' makes me feel a bit nauseous. Comments and emotions of that ilk should be reserved for puppies and babies and kittens. And possibly baby monkeys.

And baby pandas.
 
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