Wedding : first dance

[SoulTax]

Thanks for your input Paul_S (and rest). I know that I am making a mountain out of a molehill, and that I shouldnt really care about what other people think. The irony is that I am actually a very confident person and I'm seldom one to hold back due to insecurities. Problem is though, that because I spent most of my life getting high (I'm clean for a few years now) there are certain situations that I've never learnt to deal with sober - one of which is public speaking (and similair situations). BUT, new life, new leaf and all the rest. There will also be so many people from my SO side that I've never met before (family and friends from SA & Australia that will fly over) so that is also a bit unnerving.

On a far more shallow note, most first dances I've seen have been super cheesy. And I hate cheesy. The thought of people going 'awww, how sweet' makes me feel a bit nauseous. Comments and emotions of that ilk should be reserved for puppies and babies and kittens. And possibly baby monkeys.

And baby pandas.

If nothing else, your SO will appreciate the effort you put in to go outside of your comfort zone for him. It is a once in a lifetime event and opportunity that you will no doubt kick yourself for missing, and for denying your SO that experience.
Choose a song. Find out what dance step fits that beat. Mine was a Foxtrot. We went for a lesson or two to learn the basic steps, enjoyed it so much that we did some extra to learn a few spins and stuff as well. Not so much for everyone else but for us to enjoy the dance a little more.

I had an odd out of body experience at my wedding during the dance. Not really seeing myself or something weird like that, but like I was not really there, and not really in control of my body, it was just doing its thing. My wife said the same thing afterwards. It was very surreal.

I think if your mind has some basic dance moves to focus on, you wont be thinking about the people there. The standard slow dance shuffle is so basic that you only have time to think about how these people must be thinking you dont know how to dance. Learning a basic step or two to your song will give you plenty of confidence. People may judge the matric slow dancers, but nobody judges a proper foxtrot step, or waltz, even the basic stuff, because 90% of the people there probably cannot do it themselves.

The lady has the easy job anyway. The guy has to lead you around the floor, make sure not to stand on your dress/toes and make it look good. You have a wedding dress on, if all you do is stay attached to him, you will look good.

 

[Ekstasis]

don't understand yur SO...he's gonna dance fr the rest of his life anyway. Why forcing the issue on yur wedding day??

 

[snail]

I agree with you mooks. Getting married in less than 9 months. I do not want to dance, I also hate being the centre of attention (in a case like that), and I'm scared I'm gonna mess it up by standing on my chicks feet or something (yes, both of us are very clumbsy). I don't know if she wants the dance but I don't. Not looking forward to it at all (just that part). Nobody really cares about your dance. If you do it perfectly nobody will talk about it, but just screw it up and every braai you attend then you will become the topic of how you did xyz on your wedding day during your dance.

 

[I.am.Sam]

are you maybe slow ?

 

[Chevron]

So, my SO and I have been discussing getting married (how exciting!) but we have very different ideas on how the wedding would be structured. He is quite traditional in his approach, whereas I am pooping myself from nerves about some of the more 'standard' elements of a wedding.

Biggest source of anxiety is the first dance. He wants one, I don't. I cant dance. At all. I also hate being the sole focus of attention for a room full of people. I KNOW I will do something completely humiliating purely out of stupidity and a desire to escape the situation. Now, on the one hand I would hate to regret NOT doing it in years to come & obviously I'm not the only one who has a say on this, but simultaneously I dont want to spend my wedding day fretting about 3-4stupid minutes of my life. I want to enjoy said day.

How important was your first dance at your wedding? Is it an experience that you could have done without?

Get dancing lessons together. So much fun.

www.dancecafe.co.za