Weird incident on the beach

[noxibox]

So yes there was a bit of a cultural barrier possibly, they were foreign, possibly DRC or Kenya based on accents. I keep wanting to believe that they were just overly friendly and misread but wow... so scared that this was something worse.

That would pretty much answer the question, because in many cultures it would be acceptable to interact with and touch other people's children, even strangers.

Twice at parks strangers took pictures of mu children WITH them, I was actually also so mad once I doscovered it, it looks like they just like taking pictures with random people's kids. My kids are a little exceptional for their eye and hair colour, but really there is huge differences between boundaries and culture - I think some of them must understand our culture a little better.

What you should say is there are huge differences in perception of boundaries between cultures.

Another example would be that in some cultures people cross the road to avoid interacting with each other, whereas in others that behaviour would be viewed as antisocial and hostile.

Popi act is going to be a huge shock to them.

Unlikely, but maybe there is some provision in there for it.

 

[I.am.Sam]

No one is allowed to touch my kid. You can look and smile. But no touching creep

100% ..unless its someone i know

kids playing with my kids at the beach or anywhere is fine

but no adults or anyone else

 

[ES1]

That would pretty much answer the question, because in many cultures it would be acceptable to interact with and touch other people's children, even strangers.


What you should say is there are huge differences in perception of boundaries between cultures.

Another example would be that in some cultures people cross the road to avoid interacting with each other, whereas in others that behaviour would be viewed as antisocial and hostile.


Unlikely, but maybe there is some provision in there for it.

In RSA we cross the road because the other person looks dodge or could be a robber. But yeah Norway is apparently like that. That is a bit too much for me. A simple nod of the head is enough. I am not going to keep crossing roads like a crazy hamster. It would also be way too inconvenient and tiresome to each time cross a road if there is someone on your sidewalk. unless they have a dog. That could change it for me, especially big dog.

 

[Nerfherder]

100% ..unless its someone i know

kids playing with my kids at the beach or anywhere is fine

but no adults or anyone else

YA, this is the thing. They used kids as an in, the kids came to play then later the mom picked my son up. This was what really unnerved me, it was a weird slippery slope thing.

 

[Pak Fa Fui]

Rather safe than sorry.
Dont feel bad about it.

 

[Sheks]

Personal space exists for a reason - as does intuition. Don't think it was a kidnap attempt but child or adult, an unwanted (your son was crying) invasion of personal space demands an immediate reaction. Importantly here, you reasserted for your son that he should not tolerate an invasion of this space without kicking up a fuss. I think you taught him a valuable long term lesson.

 

[Big Rat]

I was on the the side of that argument once...
My kid and his friend was playing at Blouberg. They awere around 8 then. This little black laddie, not more than 6, were watching them play with the ball. MY son kicked the ball his way to interact. soon the three of them were playing soccer, rugby and cricket mixup thing. My son and buddy comes to us for cooldrink, and i throw an extra glass for the other kid. he stood there drinking, the three of them conversing in bad english when his mother came charging up like a Matriarch Elephant.
First she apologized for her son bothering, i assured her there was no bother and the kids were just playing, i offered him a cooldrink, that is why he is with us. Then the suspicion set in, why do i give her kid a cooldrink?

Did know what to answer really. being nice to a thirsty kid and then get the third degree. just told the mom he played with my kid so had to be thirsty like them, and i did not want to chase him away because that would look worse. grudgingly accepted my reason. Kids played on for another hour before we left.

 

[WaxLyrical]

REDRUM

 

[Sepeng]

I was on the the side of that argument once...
My kid and his friend was playing at Blouberg. They awere around 8 then. This little black laddie, not more than 6, were watching them play with the ball. MY son kicked the ball his way to interact. soon the three of them were playing soccer, rugby and cricket mixup thing. My son and buddy comes to us for cooldrink, and i throw an extra glass for the other kid. he stood there drinking, the three of them conversing in bad english when his mother came charging up like a Matriarch Elephant.
First she apologized for her son bothering, i assured her there was no bother and the kids were just playing, i offered him a cooldrink, that is why he is with us. Then the suspicion set in, why do i give her kid a cooldrink?

Did know what to answer really. being nice to a thirsty kid and then get the third degree. just told the mom he played with my kid so had to be thirsty like them, and i did not want to chase him away because that would look worse. grudgingly accepted my reason. Kids played on for another hour before we left.

Ja I've had similar although the other parent did not mind - was playing in the pool at a resort, my kids and these others were playing together, my daughter comes to me so I can throw her in the air and catch her, her new friend is also there laughing and next in line to be chucked. So I mean dang, what do you do - well I picked her up and chucked her. Now the dad was also in the pool so I tried to catch his eye to make sure he can see what's going down but still.

 

[Big Rat]

Ja I've had similar although the other parent did not mind - was playing in the pool at a resort, my kids and these others were playing together, my daughter comes to me so I can throw her in the air and catch her, her new friend is also there laughing and next in line to be chucked. So I mean dang, what do you do - well I picked her up and chucked her. Now the dad was also in the pool so I tried to catch his eye to make sure he can see what's going down but still.

Yeah, actually putting hands on kids for playing lately is a big hoohah, days of trusting an adult with your kids are long gone. I will trust a person until i see not all is well, but within sight. not that trusting.
When my twins were still /10 they used to have a party for their birthday. Boerewors and swim, and me throwing them into he pool. Kids would line up, this being almost 20 years ago. the few moms that stayed would raise a few eyebrows if i pick up their daughter in a bikini and chuck them in.

Hehehe, just remembered their one friend was a little hippo. Nearly broke my back trying to pick him him, all my strength to pick up and throw. went about 3 metres in a 8 meter pool. Then this little sprite of a girl. I just grab and throw.. Shiiiiitttttt. She hits water, bounce up and nearly sat on the other side of the pool. As she was flying i just imagined her hitting the edge and breaking whatever there was. She was laughing, bragging she got thrown the furthest, the parents just sat wide eyed.

When the bikinis started to fill out a bit i stopped that bit of fun, no way that ends well for me.

 

[Azbubu]

I was on the the side of that argument once...
My kid and his friend was playing at Blouberg. They awere around 8 then. This little black laddie, not more than 6, were watching them play with the ball. MY son kicked the ball his way to interact. soon the three of them were playing soccer, rugby and cricket mixup thing. My son and buddy comes to us for cooldrink, and i throw an extra glass for the other kid. he stood there drinking, the three of them conversing in bad english when his mother came charging up like a Matriarch Elephant.
First she apologized for her son bothering, i assured her there was no bother and the kids were just playing, i offered him a cooldrink, that is why he is with us. Then the suspicion set in, why do i give her kid a cooldrink?

Did know what to answer really. being nice to a thirsty kid and then get the third degree. just told the mom he played with my kid so had to be thirsty like them, and i did not want to chase him away because that would look worse. grudgingly accepted my reason. Kids played on for another hour before we left.

I know you meant well but you really shouldn't be giving other people's kids (or pets) food or drinks without their consent. You never know about their allergies, dietary requirements or just overprotective parents.

 

[Big Rat]

I know you meant well but you really shouldn't be giving other people's kids (or pets) food or drinks without their consent. You never know about their allergies, dietary requirements or just overprotective parents.

If you are allergic to Coke Zero then you are truly screwed
But yes, i see and accept your point

 

[ShaunSA]

I know you meant well but you really shouldn't be giving other people's kids (or pets) food or drinks without their consent. You never know about their allergies, dietary requirements or just overprotective parents.

Great now I can't even feed @I.am.Sam without his missus permission

 

[SauRoNZA]

Suspect it’s really just a cultural thing.

White people tend to parent in the singular and restrict such direct interaction only to family or very close friends.

Black people look after kids more as a community collective effort and hence it makes sense to me that they would find this to be normal behaviour as the kids are everyone’s to look after together.

They are likely as baffled by your response as you were by theirs.

 

[shadow_man]

The Milnerton beach is full of sewage and effluent - it's not safe to swim in or near the lagoon. There are signs saying that the water is contaminated...

 

[Thor]

So last sunday the family decided to head to the beach for a nice pre-sundown walk/chill. It looked like it was going to be a disaster because my son hadn't napped and as we arrived this massive fog came over.
Still my daughter was desperate to try out her new boogie board and the dog needed a run so we just stuck with it.
The beach wasn't too busy, which is what I prefer, I don't like lots of people but happy to have some people around in case of issues.
This was Milnerton's sunrise beach - with the lagoon. Its not our favourite but its the closest.
So we started out with my daughter boogie boarding, me watching her and playing with the dog and my wife sitting with my son as he played in the sand. Was actually going fine even though there was this crazy fog.
We swapped round and I looked after my son while the wife played with the dog and watched my daughter. I still kept and eye on the dog as she is tricky with strangers and only listens to me.

Then randomly two little girls (twins) can and asked if they could play with my son. I didn't want to be rude and they were similar age so I said ok.
My son was in a fowl mood but let the girls play with his spade etc.. then a few mins later the mom comes up to us and starts taking a video of all the kids. I don't have a huge problem with this but she didn't even ask.
She was making like a tiktok thing and dancing round selfie style with them in the background. Then all of a sudden it was a group of people and they obviously all knew each other all in the video trying to include us.
I was completely disengaged and keeping an eye on my son as well as the rest of the family and basically had my back turned.
Then a man, who was part of the group wants to talk to me, he is asking if the boy is my child - I say yes, he is my kid.
I'm about a metre away from my kid and I can hear that he is crying, like someone kicked sand in his eyes, as I turn to face him I can see that the woman (twins mom) has picked my son up and is holding him by the arms trying to make him dance for their video, he is fighting her and crying.

So I pull him way and take him away from them, they are looking at me confused like WTF just happened. I just said, sorry he is shy.
I just wanted to take him out of the situation so walked away to my wife and I saw they (the group) had gone to swim in the sea.

I was also really confused - like was it a big misunderstanding and did they just have different boundaries ? or was it me.... Then I started worrying about it being an abduction attempt (this kept me up for hours that night)
We just packed up and left, it was very unsettling and my son was clinging to me and very sad.

What stuck in my head was he usually screams for everything, he is very loud. Turns out he was actually sick and the reason he didn't scream his head off was because of a sore throat - this haunts me now.

So yes there was a bit of a cultural barrier possibly, they were foreign, possibly DRC or Kenya based on accents. I keep wanting to believe that they were just overly friendly and misread but wow... so scared that this was something worse.
Usually people read me quite well and don't engage me, especially when the dog is around, pity she was not with us but then again I'd probably have a different problem then.

Milnerton is a cesspool

In future, don't let stranger or kids near you, I have a invisible barricade up around me at all times, I don't know you then fck right off.

I don't entertain strangers, ever.

^ i know easier said than done, but also not really, just say no and then kick people if they don't take it for an answer.

SA ain't safe and every second stranger is pulling a grift / hussle these days.

 

[Big Rat]

Milnerton is a cesspool

In future, don't let stranger or kids near you, I have a invisible barricade up around me at all times, I don't know you then fck right off.

I don't entertain strangers, ever.

^ i know easier said than done, but also not really, just say no and then kick people if they don't take it for an answer.

SA ain't safe and every second stranger is pulling a grift / hussle these days.

Not everybody is built like a brick sh1thouse to kick everyone close.

 

[killerbyte]

Twice at parks strangers took pictures of mu children WITH them, I was actually also so mad once I doscovered it, it looks like they just like taking pictures with random people's kids. My kids are a little exceptional for their eye and hair colour, but really there is huge differences between boundaries and culture - I think some of them must understand our culture a little better. Popi act is going to be a huge shock to them.

Nice subtle genetic flex there. LOL

But in all seriousness... touch my daughter and we are going to have issues. I don't care if you get offended, her safety is my priority. And its one of the reasons why I plan to leave SA and take her with me.