what drives one to suicide

[Angemon]

Great video!

 

[Seriously]

what I don't understand...is how people fail at committing suicide.
If you're going to do this, the least expected of you is to research your method ffs

Go murder some cats FFS. Never underestimate the human bodies ability to survive at all costs. She was rather lucky.

 

[D3nz]

I can only speak from my own experience here.
Sometimes people can look as strong as hell to the outside world but nobody really knows what goes on in somebody else's head.
Sometimes life just becomes unbearable and in that state of mind.
You can see no options and mental pain starts to manifest physically.
Have you every heard of a broken heart?
Well it's possible to feel like it physically broken.

Also the straw that breaks the camel's back is true.
Sometimes you handle life as best you can but the hits keep coming.
And you keep fighting the good fight and pretending everything's ok.
Then something happens and you break.
You try to hide it but after a while death, and end to all the pain and suffering feels like a great relief.

As far as I know this is depression because of chemical imbalance in the brain.
A good psychologist/psychiatrist will be able to help.

Special note to the OP:
Please don't be obtrusive with questions and reasons why. In my opinion that is the worst you can do.
There is already shame and humiliation associated with attempted suicide.
Just be there. Be comforting and non judgemental.
She will share what she is comfortable with sharing.

Hope your friend gets the help she needs and life becomes better for her.
Best wishes.

Excellent post!

 

[Singal]

Suicide is probably the most selfish thing you can ever do...

Many people who try to commit suicide are not in a rational frame of mind. Maybe you should consider WHY people are driven to suicide.

 

[Bobbin]

If I were to throw my survival theory in the mix here. Disclaimer being that it is potentially dangerous to comment and mess with suicidal tendencies.

Suicide generally appears to be either the pursuit of an end to unhappiness or an end to pain. Perhaps in rarer instances it is a result of some sort of chemical disorder.

Focus on the avoidance of unhappiness/pain aspect - therein lies counter-intuitively the survival aspect of the mind right? Think about it. They are actually doing something they perceive as beneficial to themselves. Seems obvious no? To you it might be seen as the opposite - that they are intentionally harming/ending themselves irrationally but to them the logical motivation is actually there and makes perfect sense.

If a suicidal person understands exactly how this works (If theory is correct of course) chances are they can handle it intelligently. Knowing why and being able to control it is rewarding in itself. For example one could either re-assess the problem or merely the perception of the problem. Or find and pursue happiness in other areas to mitigate it.

As I write this it really does seem obvious. But be warned I'm not qualified to comment - just my 2cents really.

 

[EMAM]

I can only speak from my own experience here.
Sometimes people can look as strong as hell to the outside world but nobody really knows what goes on in somebody else's head.
Sometimes life just becomes unbearable and in that state of mind.
You can see no options and mental pain starts to manifest physically.
Have you every heard of a broken heart?
Well it's possible to feel like it physically broken.

Also the straw that breaks the camel's back is true.
Sometimes you handle life as best you can but the hits keep coming.
And you keep fighting the good fight and pretending everything's ok.
Then something happens and you break.
You try to hide it but after a while death, and end to all the pain and suffering feels like a great relief.

As far as I know this is depression because of chemical imbalance in the brain.
A good psychologist/psychiatrist will be able to help.

Special note to the OP:
Please don't be obtrusive with questions and reasons why. In my opinion that is the worst you can do.
There is already shame and humiliation associated with attempted suicide.
Just be there. Be comforting and non judgemental.
She will share what she is comfortable with sharing.

Hope your friend gets the help she needs and life becomes better for her.
Best wishes.

Brilliant post! Brilliant explanation! I can so relate....

 

[Stevi]

Suicide is probably the most selfish thing you can ever do...

+1
Makes those left behind feel responsible/wondering what they did wrong.
May sound harsh, but it is the easy way out, leaving others to suffer

 

[Bobbin]

+1
Makes those left behind feel responsible/wondering what they did wrong.
May sound harsh, but it is the easy way out, leaving others to suffer

The converse to this is at risk of being equally selfish - that one cannot commit the deed because it would make others suffer - so this person must just continue to suffer to their benefit.

Controversial perhaps but just a thought that occurred to me reading your post, I don't mean any offense or state as fact

 

[Stevi]

The converse to this is at risk of being equally selfish - that one cannot commit the deed because it would make others suffer - so this person must just continue to suffer to their benefit.

Controversial perhaps but just a thought that occurred to me reading your post, I don't mean any offense or state as fact

Fair point.
I guess it's no easy situation to be in

 

[SauRoNZA]

+1
Makes those left behind feel responsible/wondering what they did wrong.
May sound harsh, but it is the easy way out, leaving others to suffer

Isn't it more selfish of other people to expect someone to stick around in eternal suffering just because of their own inadequacies and being unable to deal with the concept.

The people who don't support the suicide are more selfish than the person committing the suicide in my opinion.

If someone doesn't want to be here any more for whatever reason it should be their choice and their choice alone. There is nothing selfish or otherwise about it.

Everyone else expecting them to soldier on for their own benefit are the selfish ones.

 

[SauRoNZA]

The converse to this is at risk of being equally selfish - that one cannot commit the deed because it would make others suffer - so this person must just continue to suffer to their benefit.

Controversial perhaps but just a thought that occurred to me reading your post, I don't mean any offense or state as fact

BLoody hell, seems we were on the same page at the exact same time.

 

[Stevi]

Isn't it more selfish of other people to expect someone to stick around in eternal suffering just because of their own inadequacies and being unable to deal with the concept.

The people who don't support the suicide are more selfish than the person committing the suicide in my opinion.

If someone doesn't want to be here any more for whatever reason it should be their choice and their choice alone. There is nothing selfish or otherwise about it.

Everyone else expecting them to soldier on for their own benefit are the selfish ones.

A friend of mine's mother committed suicide in our matric year. He had a younger brother who was only 14 at the time.
How were they expected to deal with their own inadequacies and deal with the concept that their mom wanted out?
I'm also sure they wouldn't have supported the suicide.
Both their lives were heavily affected and will be for the rest of their lives due to her actions.

I understand people can be in very difficult situations, but some do have loved ones around them who can support them and help them through the tough times.

 

[Singal]

A friend of mine's mother committed suicide in our matric year. He had a younger brother who was only 14 at the time.
How were they expected to deal with their own inadequacies and deal with the concept that their mom wanted out?
I'm also sure they wouldn't have supported the suicide.
Both their lives were heavily affected and will be for the rest of their lives due to her actions.

I understand people can be in very difficult situations, but some do have loved ones around them who can support them and help them through the tough times.

Your friend's mother was not selfish. It is very possible she may have convinced herself that they were better off without her or that they didn't really need her. As I've already said, people who commit or try to commit suicide are not always rational. The only thing in their mind is escape from THEIR reality.

 

[SauRoNZA]

A friend of mine's mother committed suicide in our matric year. He had a younger brother who was only 14 at the time.
How were they expected to deal with their own inadequacies and deal with the concept that their mom wanted out?
I'm also sure they wouldn't have supported the suicide.
Both their lives were heavily affected and will be for the rest of their lives due to her actions.

I understand people can be in very difficult situations, but some do have loved ones around them who can support them and help them through the tough times.

It's obviously not a hard and fast rule, which is why I hit back against the blanket statement that people who commit suicide are automatically selfish.

We are all selfish to varying degrees, most of us put ourselves first before just about anyone else in one way or another.

Like Singal says it could very well be that she believed they would be better without her and that isn't selfish in concept only in the result.

 

[Nanfeishen]

what drives one to suicide ?

- Fatigue

People simply get tired, they become tired of the never ending cycle of the circumstances they find themselves in.
It could be the cycle of depression and medication/counselling they find they cannot get out of.
The relationship/family situation where they have no time to themselves, or no change from the daily dullness of that existence.
The tediousness of the routine, the day to day numbness of their lives in the same job, the same work , the same faces, the same people , where nothing changes for them.
Trapped by circumstances they do not have the strength, means or ability to change or alter, living lives they come to despise and hate.
Unfulfilled dreams often littering their past, unattainable dreams waiting in the future.

Not everybody is cut out to do things the same as their peers or their family or friends, yet thousands of people land up doing things like getting married , finding a job, studying xyor z, not out of choice and free will, but because they are led to believe it is "the right thing to do", or it "is the right time", or "we are not paying so you can study x".
So they go off and do things for the wrong reasons, never truly discovering their real potential, or fulfilling their dreams.

The years pass, while those unfulfilled dreams and ideas, fester and eat away at their psyche, either consciously or subconsciously, slowly dragging them down, undermining their confidence, their ability to deal with life, making them depressed and draining them of the energy to get through each day.
Over time fatigue sets in, they become tired of the constant numbness, the future that they see before them remains unchanging, and instead of carrying on they choose to stop fighting the situation they find themselves in, and rather end it.

 

[d0b33]

There are those fighting for the right to commit suicide (assisted). I for one support this. I've had failed attempts myself in the past, do I regret trying? not really... but I saved myself at the last minute because I knew it would hurt my folks, and they're the ones who helped me overcome my tendencies.

 

[thestaggy]

what I don't understand...is how people fail at committing suicide.
If you're going to do this, the least expected of you is to research your method ffs

Survival instincts? Natural reactions?

I've heard that many people that hang themselves have scratch marks on their necks, indicating that they tried to get out of it.

Also, if you are poisoned what is your body's natural reaction? Yep, try and expel the poison, hence a number of victims that try and OD on tablets will vomit as the body attempts to expel whatever is damaging/harming it.

I know of two suicide attempts, one involving a close family member and a family friend.

Family member, diagnosed as bi-polar, attempted to OD on medication after their relationship broke down, sending him into a dark episode. Unsuccessful.

Family friend, described as ''dark'' and ''broody'' by friends, hung himself in his parent's garage. My dad, who saw said person a few weeks before, said that he looked ''distant'' and emotionless. His family understandably kept the suicide note to themselves, so we do not know why. Successful.

A major cause would have to be depression and even the most happy-go-lucky of people can be fighting severe depression. Robin Williams, a man that made his money by being funny and making people laugh. Then again, I firmly believe comedians are wearing a mask.

 

[RogueTr00per]

[edit]Intro to suicide threat saga removed[/edit]

She had been threatening it the whole day, but being the clever person she is perhaps chose a late hour to action things due to the difficulty of assistance at such a later hour. I did what I could, got the necessary people involved. Suicide helpline was limited in what they could do. Apparently the suicidal person concerned needs to call them of their own volition. They aren't allowed to call even if requested by another individual!

[edit]She is alive and well this morning. This time round, just a way to get attention or exorcise mental demons...[/edit]

 

[Nikita_k]

Someone I know may have attempted suicide tonight I'll only know in the morning when I hear back from the police or security estate where she lives

She had been threatening it the whole day, but being the clever person she is perhaps chose a late hour to action things due to the difficulty of assistance at such a later hour. I did what I could, got the necessary people involved. Suicide helpline was limited in what they could do. Apparently the suicidal person concerned needs to call them of their own volition. They aren't allowed to call even if requested by another individual!

Did she go through with it? So sorry you had to go through that kind of trauma.

 

[Replay]

[edit]Intro to suicide threat saga removed[/edit]

She had been threatening it the whole day, but being the clever person she is perhaps chose a late hour to action things due to the difficulty of assistance at such a later hour. I did what I could, got the necessary people involved. Suicide helpline was limited in what they could do. Apparently the suicidal person concerned needs to call them of their own volition. They aren't allowed to call even if requested by another individual!

EDIT
She is alive and well this morning. This time round, just a way to get attention or exorcise mental demons...

This is normally the case.....Is she bipolar?