What now?

[Devill]

How is she going to have another woman's child evaluated?

@ Jewelbox - if you suspect something is amiss you should contact the authorities. The child is more important than your friendship but be prepared to be (hopefully) wrong.

+1, yes just make sure that you can accept when you are wrong aswell. But it is 100% correct of you to have worries if the child is acting strange.

I do not know where the child's father is; he pays no child support is all I know.
The child goes to a daycare; not sure where, but will find out. Will then have a talk to the person who takes care of her and maybe get her to also talk to my friend about the child's strange behaviour. What do you think about this idea?

Maybe alert child servises that they could send a psycologist to evaluate all the kids at the daycare to make it less of a "direct" search for answers.

 

[DJ...]

Maybe alert child servises that they could send a psycologist to evaluate all the kids at the daycare to make it less of a "direct" search for answers.

No, that should be an absolute last resort. Besides, they would need reason to go in and spend moola on evaluating every single child at the daycare, and if the reason is one person's opinion that something dodgy is happening at home, they are not likely at all to go in and start evaluating the daycare, it wouldn't make sense to them. And could you imagine the bad rep the daycare would get following that? Ni, I don't agree with this idea...

 

[Devill]

No, that should be an absolute last resort. Besides, they would need reason to go in and spend moola on evaluating every single child at the daycare, and if the reason is one person's opinion that something dodgy is happening at home, they are not likely at all to go in and start evaluating the daycare, it wouldn't make sense to them. And could you imagine the bad rep the daycare would get following that? Ni, I don't agree with this idea...

Ok or maybe phone up the daycare and tell them about your suspicion and then let them handel it?

I just don't think you should let this go. So what if you are wrong? But if you are right and nothing is done?

 

[DJ...]

Ok or maybe phone up the daycare and tell them about your suspicion and then let them handel it?

I just don't think you should let this go. So what if you are wrong? But if you are right and nothing is done?

What's wrong with talking to the friend? If you were in the parents' shoes, who would you rather have talking to you about this? Your friend, or the headmistress of the daycare? I don't think it is Jewelbox's place to discuss it with the daycare - would you want your friend going around doing this to you without your knowledge?

I say the talk with the friend is 1st port of call - thereafter decisions can be made, if necessary, as to what should be done next.

 

[adelp]

Ok or maybe phone up the daycare and tell them about your suspicion and then let them handel it?

I just don't think you should let this go. So what if you are wrong? But if you are right and nothing is done?

+ 1

Try the daycare. They should be able to tell you if she has changed at school to. And who to contact.

 

[Mephisto_Helix]

The worst thing to do would be to tell your suspicions to the daycare people before the friend ...... wow, overreaction on a large scale that.

 

[Devill]

What's wrong with talking to the friend? If you were in the parents' shoes, who would you rather have talking to you about this? Your friend, or the headmistress of the daycare? I don't think it is Jewelbox's place to discuss it with the daycare - would you want your friend going around doing this to you without your knowledge?

I say the talk with the friend is 1st port of call - thereafter decisions can be made, if necessary, as to what should be done next.

Well the OP stated that she did bring it up but now the friend is angry at her thus I just thought that road has been traveled. But yes try the friend again.

Just watch out that the person does not get the idea that you are harrasing them. Thats why imo if you have tried the mother before and nothing has come of it then maybe another route is the best.

 

[adelp]

The worst thing to do would be to tell your suspicions to the daycare people before the friend ...... wow, overreaction on a large scale that.

Suppose to be part of the job to pick up things like that. Maybe they have been wondering and asked the mother and got the same reaction.

 

[Claymore]

The worst thing to do would be to tell your suspicions to the daycare people before the friend ...... wow, overreaction on a large scale that.

Word. Daycare are legally obliged to report it, I think.

 

[Jewelbox]

Word. Daycare are legally obliged to report it, I think.

If Daycare is legally obliged to report matters, WHY do they not contact the mother? I now have to put up with a feeling of guilt because of what I suspect, but have no proof.

 

[Claymore]

If Daycare is legally obliged to report matters, WHY do they not contact the mother? I now have to put up with a feeling of guilt because of what I suspect, but have no proof.

Well, I would imagine they don't have to report behavioural changes. But if someone came to them and said the child was being abused, they certainly would be obliged to notify authorities - which could be a big kettle of fish if there's not actually any problem.

 

[Mephisto_Helix]

If Daycare is legally obliged to report matters, WHY do they not contact the mother? I now have to put up with a feeling of guilt because of what I suspect, but have no proof.

one of two situations there ...... 1) the daycare is not a good one and the people aren't trained very well .... 2) (the one I go with) they have no cause for alarm unlike yourself.

 

[DJ...]

If Daycare is legally obliged to report matters, WHY do they not contact the mother? I now have to put up with a feeling of guilt because of what I suspect, but have no proof.

So what are you planning to do Jewelbox?

 

[adelp]

What a sticky mess!!!
Phone Try and find some one profesional, to ask questions about how to get answers without causing trouble.
Like the doll. You will their trust and ask them to show you what makes them unhappy by using the doll.

Look at these sites. maybe they help you.
http://www.health24.com/child/Abuse/833-859,27417.asp

http://www.saps.gov.za/crime_prevention/safety_tips/child_abuse.htm

http://www.fpb.gov.za/child_pornography/information_booklets/child_porn_faq.asp#16

point 16.

 

[Jewelbox]

So what are you planning to do Jewelbox?

I still don't know what is the best to do. I am very afraid of being sued by getting too much involved. All I did to-day, was to think as to WHAT is the best to do. I feel that I must somehow get the daycare to contact the mother, but how do I arrange this?