When you take sh#t so epic

Polymathic

Polymathic

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It takes over 5 flushes to vanquish that mofo. Guess it's one of the side affects to going vegetarian for a month
 
For me an epic sh#t is when you can tighten your belt another notch after :D
 
The best **** is after that 2nd cup of coffee in the morning, after needing a **** while driving to work.... and the coffee is really working you and you can feel that pressure or urge build up. You get to the loo with moments to spare and it just dumps out, you don't even need to push, just stop pinching your cheeks and it drops out.... feels great.
 
Cube3 said:
The best **** is after that 2nd cup of coffee in the morning, after needing a **** while driving to work.... and the coffee is really working you and you can feel that pressure or urge build up. You get to the loo with moments to spare and it just dumps out, you don't even need to push, just stop pinching your cheeks and it drops out.... feels great.
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As long as there's no backsplash
 
Woah!! 5 Flushes :wtf:

I shouldn't be surprised; I once took a real nasty dump that needed 2 flushes and a whole bucket to go down :D

Ah the best dump is when it flows out nice and smoothly, it feels so great! :D
 
koeks525 said:
Woah!! 5 Flushes :wtf:

I shouldn't be surprised; I once took a real nasty dump that needed 2 flushes and a whole bucket to go down :D

Ah the best dump is when it flows out nice and smoothly, it feels so great! :D
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Yeah you don't even realise how big it is until you turn around to flush
 
Most have been mentioned by forumites already but here is the complete list:

Ghost crap
You know you've done a crap. There's crap on the toilet paper, but none in the toilet.

Teflon crap
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't even feel it. No trace of crap on the paper. You have to look in the toilet to make sure you did something.

Glue crap
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your arse 12 times and it's still not clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your jocks so that you don't stain them. This kind of crap leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought crap
You're all done wiping, and you're about to stand up when you realise....you've got more.

Pop A Vein In Your Head crap
The kind of crap that killed Elvis. It doesn't come out till you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers crap
You crap so much, you lose several kilos.

Right Now crap
You had better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber getting to the toilet. Usually it has its head out before you can get your pants down.

King Kong crap (or Choker)
This one is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This kind of crap usually occurs at someone else's house.

Cork crap (or Floater)
Even after the third flush it's still floating in the bowl.

Wet Cheek crap (or Splashdown)
This crap hits the water sideways and makes a big splash that gets you all wet.

Wish crap
You sit there all cramped up in the foetal position and fart a few times, but no crap in sight. Sometimes called a political crap, since there's a lot of hot air and no result.

Brick crap
You wish you had a spinal anaesthetic before you attempted this one.

Snake crap
This crap is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least a metre long.

Beer and Pizza crap
This happens the day after the night before. Most of the time your crap doesn't smell so bad but this one is BAD... and usually this one happens at someone else's house, with someone waiting outside to come in next.

Ring of Fire crap (or Screamer)
The one that happens after you've eaten seriously hot, spicy food. You will know it's safe to eat again when your arse stops burning
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