Why do people cheat?

"Please post in my thread so that I can judge you and call you names like the dick that I am."
 
There is no doubt that cheating is a selfish act. Personally, I encounter women almost on a daily basis who are just so physically attractive as to grab my attention and hold my thoughts seemingly automatically. Whether this is immature, natural, psychological I have no idea but I do not care for anyone holding anyone to account for this - it just is. It is however irrelevant how happy the relationship is in some cases, there will always be temptation (Unless you have no sexual drive or fantasies whatsoever)...

The only thing that holds me back from acting on this is the thought of hurting my partner and also learning to control or let go of desire. Ultimately I am able to reel my thoughts back to reality and back to what truly matters to me - this is a conscious/almost intelligent decision and also knowing my partner means much more than anything someone I hardly know can offer. Though this is a learned trait and I wasn't always like that. I will admit I have cheated once where I was in a long distance relationship with a girl I'd not actually physically met, though we grew tremendously close, but when opportunity then presented itself I made the wrong decision. I was young (Still am), stupid and ignorant of the consequences. The discussion I had with the other girl after that was one of the most hurtful experiences I had ever been through in my life - and surely for her too :( -, despite our long distance relationship.

Some advice, if you have something good going for you do not EVER fk it up for your selfishness. :p
 
D3nz said:
That's life. You have no control over what other people do. You can get angry about it or you can learn from it.
Click to expand...

I'm angry...

I do not want to be part of a society where everyone around me has the probability to deceive me...

I would never betray anyone, there must be people out there who feels the same.
 
Random Hero said:
Here is the story that affected me the most:

A close relative of mine who is the best person you will never meet, he is friendly kind, always helps out, hard working, intelligent goal driven, wealthy because he works hard and just the best example of a person you can ever meet!
So he was married to a woman for a decade, she had to do work abroad for a couple of months.
He agreed to this as technology allows us to easily keep in touch and he wanted her to pursue her career goals.
When she came back, things became weird.. she acted weird and a couple of months later wanted a divorce.
Before the were divorced she had the child of another man. so she probably ****ed around the entire time but while still in wedlock had another mans kid.
So WTF! Why destroy a decade of marriage.

I lived with them for two weeks and always looked up to their relationship, because I wanted that. Nice house in a estate, dogs cats.. cuddles in front of the TV at night, holidays and get away together.. adventures.. It seemed so perfect.. until the day he told me they are getting a divorce.. now this ****ing slag ****ed him up emotionally and is happy with her bastard child and with some guy.. I hope she gets what she deserves..
Click to expand...

you can make up the same BS story about being happy at a work place an cry "OMG she worked there for 10 years,why leave the company in the lurch OMG". if she wasn't happy, she wasn't happy, if she wanted something different, love isn't an ivory tower guarded by a dragon. if someone doesn't want to BE in a relationship, they shouldn't have to be trapped in it.

i was cheated on, numerous times, and i'm not the best partner to be with. i don't fulfill all people's needs that they need in a relationship, but i at least know that people DO genuinely love me for what i DO offer, because they still go out and see other people, and keep coming back to me.

a relationship shouldn't be a prison, you shouldn't have to go against your life dreams to appease somebody else's dreams
 
Agreed, that's why I asked the question. Didn't really care about what transpired - just wanted to know why do you even bother requesting opinions - if all you intended was to be a d!!k so that you can feel better by judging and dissing others.


Brewmaster said:
"Please post in my thread so that I can judge you and call you names like the dick that I am."
Click to expand...

OrbitalDawn said:
Pretty much.

Dude's doling out much judgement for a pipsqueak.
Click to expand...
 
IMHO people cheat for variety and excitement and it seldom has anything to do with long term "love". In fact, physically open relationships between mature people where the parties haven't been conditioned into reacting to every dalliance as some kind of nuclear meltdown betrayal can be quite healthy, but only where there is a deeper trust and the maturity to understand that there is a difference between a life long companion and an occasional fling because that contributes to your enjoyment of life. In fact, if your long term relationship can't withstand something like that, then you probably shouldn't be in it in the first place. Let's face it, relationships will become physically boring after enough years so why must we put ourselves in some kind of sexual jail for the rest of our lives just to comply with some social construct of physical monogamy. Jealousy is only an issue if your relationship is not strong enough, in which case maybe you shouldn't be chained to each other anyway.
 
Bobbin said:
There is no doubt that cheating is a selfish act. Personally, I encounter women almost on a daily basis who are just so physically attractive as to grab my attention and hold my thoughts seemingly automatically. Whether this is immature, natural, psychological I have no idea but I do not care for anyone holding anyone to account for this - it just is. It is however irrelevant how happy the relationship is in some cases, there will always be temptation (Unless you have no sexual drive or fantasies whatsoever)...

The only thing that holds me back from acting on this is the thought of hurting my partner and also learning to control or let go of desire. Ultimately I am able to reel my thoughts back to reality and back to what truly matters to me - this is a conscious/almost intelligent decision and also knowing my partner means much more than anything someone I hardly know can offer. Though this is a learned trait and I wasn't always like that. I will admit I have cheated once where I was in a long distance relationship with a girl I'd not actually physically met, though we grew tremendously close, but when opportunity then presented itself I made the wrong decision. I was young (Still am), stupid and ignorant of the consequences. The discussion I had with the other girl after that was one of the most hurtful experiences I had ever been through in my life - and surely for her too :( -, despite our long distance relationship.

Some advice, if you have something good going for you do not EVER fk it up for your selfishness. :p
Click to expand...

At least you had remorse..

It made me feel better reading this.
 
People cheat because they cant control their instincts.We are animals after all and monogamy is only seen with very few species.Its up to you if you want to control your mojo or not.
 
STS said:
you can make up the same BS story about being happy at a work place an cry "OMG she worked there for 10 years,why leave the company in the lurch OMG". if she wasn't happy, she wasn't happy, if she wanted something different, love isn't an ivory tower guarded by a dragon. if someone doesn't want to BE in a relationship, they shouldn't have to be trapped in it.

i was cheated on, numerous times, and i'm not the best partner to be with. i don't fulfill all people's needs that they need in a relationship, but i at least know that people DO genuinely love me for what i DO offer, because they still go out and see other people, and keep coming back to me.

a relationship shouldn't be a prison, you shouldn't have to go against your life dreams to appease somebody else's dreams
Click to expand...

So why enter the relationship in the first place? why get married? why stick around for 10 years?


...is it for financial gain? having a save area to leech off until you have the means to leave?

If you stuck with someone that long you either love them and work out your problems (hopefully you can comfortably discuss problems before they escalate) or you are evil and dangerous like the guy here who swings with his girlfriend. By the way that open relationship BS.. won't last.
 
Well, I have strong suspicion my wife is cheating on me , just cant prove it. Not a nice place to be in.
 
Random Hero said:
I'm angry...

I do not want to be part of a society where everyone around me has the probability to deceive me...

I would never betray anyone, there must be people out there who feels the same.
Click to expand...
I'm probably lifting this off someone: you can't trust people but, you can trust people to be people. I remember well those feelings of betrayal when I discovered the world didn't owe me anything. People are more fun when you don't demand anything from them.
 
iDOL said:
Agreed, that's why I asked the question. Didn't really care about what transpired - just wanted to know why do you even bother requesting opinions - if all you intended was to be a d!!k so that you can feel better by judging and dissing others.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry... I am wrong for passing my anonymous judgements in this thread and the right way to go about it is probably just saying "Its their lives and their choices, they live with it and not me.."

But it just upsets that a person could betray someone... so anger and fury came out.

once again, I'm sorry.
 
And, more inclined to give you what you want too.
 
Drifter said:
Well, I have strong suspicion my wife is cheating on me , just cant prove it. Not a nice place to be in.
Click to expand...

Hire a private investigator, buy a spycam, install monitoring software on her phone etc. You have plenty of options.
 
Random Hero said:
I'm angry...

I do not want to be part of a society where everyone around me has the probability to deceive me...

I would never betray anyone, there must be people out there who feels the same.
Click to expand...
You're still young.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X