For example he sometimes says things on his blog and elsewhere to the effect that all whites are still racists and that blacks continue to live constantly being insulted by the whites etc. ... he is careful to be subtle about it, but the underlying message is very clear, he is sowing the seeds of hatred against whites and portraying them as the enemy. He also has openly allowed similar and worse comments from his own cabinet, and has also never ever spoken out against such comments when they occur (e.g. statements that 'all whites are criminals', recent cut-throat gestures seen in parliament, Ivy's racist comments, Ngaqula's obviously racist comments, etc.). They've also endorsed and allowed comments such as Mokaba used to make, and like Malema and Vavi make these days (Vavi has been openly and publicly anti-white for years - now yes that is COSATU, but his comments enjoy full support from ANC ... and COSATU is frikkin huge anyway, and they keep openly stating that whites continue to oppress blacks, that whites are oppressors, etc.). They also never seem to speak out against public comments calling for the murder of whites by the likes of Phat Joe or songs like the Zubz one. And they also are actively covering up the genocide of Boers - please do read some of the "reports" they've produced on the issue of farm murders, and some of the comments made by e.g. Xingwana. These people are all chosen and led by Mbeki (except for the members of the public I mentioned, but the government appears to endorse their racism so long as it's against whites). Mbeki's government has also at times blamed whites for being behind crime, for the electricity problems, and for being behind the xenophobia attacks.
And if this is how these people speak and behave in public, just imagine for a moment how they converse in private.
As for the personal connections, I can't elaborate on that.
Of course it's so easy to not see a storm coming if you don't look at the signs.