Widows!!

Alexander the Straight

Alexander the Straight

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This morning I bumped into a young lady that I worked with around 7yrs ago. Back then I would have rated her a 5.5, slightly plump and seemed to dress for comfort more than anything.
Boy was I was blown away this morning when I saw her, looking way slimmer, using make up and dressed up super fashionably. She's now nothing short of an 8.5.

Long story short, her husband died of Covid in 2021 and it seemed to have changed her completely. I saw her getting into a very new looking black Beiging car. I don't even think she had a car back then.

She's the second person I know that's changed completely since the death of her husband. The other one bought an X5 within a few months and is going on a 3 month holiday in April. Her husband died in 2023.

Just curious to find out the general feeling about the things I wondered about.

Is this sort of thing a common occurrence.
Is it inappropriate in any way.
How long should a wife be in mourning?
Has anyone encountered a husband do something similar? , I haven't

Or, are they simply making the best of a bad situation and moving on with their lives, as they should.
 
Alexander the Straight said:
Is this sort of thing a common occurrence.
Is it inappropriate in any way.
How long should a wife be in mourning?
Has anyone encountered a husband do something similar? , I haven't
Click to expand...

Yes
No
Till his body is in the ground/fire
No. Men still have to work. Women inherit. Big difference
 
****..

Do you expect her to just mope around in her PJ's for the rest of her life ?

Everyone copes differently, sometimes the death is drawn out and the spouse morns during this period already.
 
Losing your partner changes your perspective on life - makes you realize how short and precious life can be.

Grief is different for everyone; some grieve for a short time, others for years and some never stop.

That is not to say she is not ready to move on - spend time with her as a friend and if she is, she will let you know.
 
Nerfherder said:
****..

Do you expect her to just mope around in her PJ's for the rest of her life ?

Everyone copes differently, sometimes the death is drawn out and the spouse morns during this period already.
Click to expand...
No, but why only make the effort to lose weight, dress smarter etc when your husband is dead. That's what my question is
 
saor said:
Maybe 7 years later you're still single and horny so every 5 is an 8 now?
Click to expand...
For sure,that part is completely true. But I still think she would be a 7 and upwards on any scale. I looked at her and forgot where I was and what I came to get.
 
My wife and I have always agreed that if something happens to the other one we should move along and get on with our lives, so I fully expect her to be out on the prowl within a month of me kicking the bucket especially with the massive cash injection afforded by my life insurance.

I probably won't be that inclined to go out on the prowl for fresh meat, but would certainly live a bit larger for a bit as I'll effectively become financially self sustainable overnight.

Then again we are the same types of people who joke about taking a spade and whacking the other and burying them in the backyard when either of us are miserable about something.
 
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Profit Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

If a woman’s husband dies, she has to stay in the house where she was staying before the death of her husband, and should not go out except for a necessity and then she has to return home.

This is for all the waiting period which is 4 months and 10 days if she is not pregnant.

Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait (as regards their marriage) for four months and ten days, ….}[2:234].

If a woman is pregnant, she has to wait until she gives birth to. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {….And for those who are pregnant (whether they are divorced or their husbands are dead), their 'Iddah (prescribed period) is until they deliver (their burdens),….}[65:4].

Therefore, if your sister is not pregnant, then what one sister told her is true. Because only one month and a half nearly expired from the waiting period, and she has to wait for another month or so.

She has to spend the remainder of her waiting period in the house where she was staying even if she is on the condition that you have mentioned.

Ashab al-Sunan, Malik and Ahmad reported from the Hadith of Abu Said Al-Khudri that when his sister’s husband passed away, she went to the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) and told him: ‘O Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) of Allah, my husband died, and I am living in a home that was faraway from the home of my family and brothers. He did not leave any money (wealth) for me to spend, I did not inherit any wealth, and he did not have a house, so if you give me permission I will join my family and my brothers’ house. I like it and it is better for me to fulfill some needs’. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) replied: “You can do so if you wish”.

She said, ‘I was happy and comforted that Allah has ruled on me by the tongue of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam)’. (This was before the revelation of the verse concerning the waiting period that a divorced or widowed woman has to observe before she can marry again).

But while I was at the mosque or in one of the rooms, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) called me and said, “What did you say earlier?” She reported the story to the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) then the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “Stay in your house in which you got the news of the death of your husband until the prescribed waiting period finishes”. She said: “So, I stayed in that home four months and 10 days”.

But a woman, during this period, can go out of her house during daytime to fulfill her necessities like buying food or anything else for her or for her children.

Allah knows best.
 
SauRoNZA said:
My wife and I have always agreed that if something happens to the other one we should move along and get on with our lives, so I fully expect her to be out on the prowl within a month of me kicking the bucket especially with the massive cash injection afforded by my life insurance.

I probably won't be that inclined to go out on the prowl for fresh meat, but would certainly live a bit larger for a bit as I'll effectively become financially self sustainable overnight.
Click to expand...
That sounds fair and reasonable.

I don't know why, but I would rather prefer she throws herself over my grave crying, at least once a month, and continues mourning till she's so old that no other man would look at her.
Maybe I'm just old fashion.
 
Alexander the Straight said:
This morning I bumped into a young lady that I worked with around 7yrs ago. Back then I would have rated her a 5.5, slightly plump and seemed to dress for comfort more than anything.
Boy was I was blown away this morning when I saw her, looking way slimmer, using make up and dressed up super fashionably. She's now nothing short of an 8.5.

Long story short, her husband died of Covid in 2021 and it seemed to have changed her completely. I saw her getting into a very new looking black Beiging car. I don't even think she had a car back then.

She's the second person I know that's changed completely since the death of her husband. The other one bought an X5 within a few months and is going on a 3 month holiday in April. Her husband died in 2023.

Just curious to find out the general feeling about the things I wondered about.

Is this sort of thing a common occurrence.
Is it inappropriate in any way.
How long should a wife be in mourning?
Has anyone encountered a husband do something similar? , I haven't

Or, are they simply making the best of a bad situation and moving on with their lives, as they should.
Click to expand...
Do you have life insurance? Guess not.

If a person dies, their house is paid off. So there is no bond remaining. The Estate takes care of that and transfers it into their name without any real fees (no need for electric, plumbing or gas inspections).

Then the life insurance pays out. Pretty quickly including any pension the husband had. So about R5-10 million or more.

Add to that any other investments etc.

So yip the wife will have a fully paid off house, about 5-10 million in the bank.



Now many a young asian girl marries older grandpas, because they basically get everything and a lot more, then 2nd time around they can date a guy of their choosing.

So yip they can be rich after their husband's death and its pretty normal.
 
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