Wife issues [Solved]

STS said:
People mature at different rates based on various factors and those that they surround themselves with, which is why some 16 year olds can be more mature than many 26 year olds in regards to various topics. People who also don't have the opportunity to do stupid things earlier in life may want to do them later on, whereas the inverse is true that somebody could have been faithful their whole life, but just needed certain circumstances to cheat.

People are complex creatures. I could never cheat coz I'm too fekking lazy to be in a relationship in the first place, where some people find the energy to commit to a relationship, keep secrets in that relationship AND engage in another relationship seriously impress me
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Doubt
 
Women often try to get the man to divorce them and they don't initiate the proceedings themselves. She might try to fish you into accusing her and thereafter she will blame you for breaking the trust relationship. Women want to take the moral high ground despite them initiating it. Relationships with friends and family play a huge part and the last thing she wants to be seen is as the one who instigated the marriage breakdown. Your best best is to try rekindle it. Arrange a weekend away or something. If she is totally cold to it you know you lost her. Then you can make further plans. Your goal at the moment is to determine her state of mind and strategy.
 
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skimread said:
Women often try to get the man to divorce them and they don't initiate the proceedings themselves. She might try to fish you into accusing her and thereafter she will blame you for breaking the trust relationship. Women want to take the moral high ground despite them initiating it. Relationships with friends and family play a huge part and the last thing she wants to be seen is as the one who instigated the marriage breakdown. Your best best is to try rekindle it. Arrange a weekend away or something. If she is totally cold to it you know you lost her. Then you can make further plans. Your goal at the moment is to determine her state of mind and strategy.
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As much as this tries to come across as effort to fix a wrong, it does not speak to the actual deep seated problem. Professional counselling will help here instead of just a weekend away. Both parties need to see what they can work on based on constructive criticism. A list needs to be created on what they admire about each other and what they hate about each other. This is the basis of creating a stronger bond and building their EQ toward one another and the rest of the world.

I do suspect that the love died down a bit and things became routine in the relationship.
 
CamiKaze said:
As much as this tries to come across as effort to fix a wrong, it does not speak to the actual deep seated problem. Professional counselling will help here instead of just a weekend away. Both parties need to see what they can work on based on constructive criticism. A list needs to be created on what they admire about each other and what they hate about each other. This is the basis of creating a stronger bond and building their EQ toward one another and the rest of the world.

I do suspect that the love died down a bit and things became routine in the relationship.
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I never told him to fix a wrong. I told him to determine his wife state of mind. Women can destroy if they get given the chance. He seem to be good at reading his wife's mood by discovering she the messages, he just need to confirm she is emotionally left the marriage without letting on what he knows
 
skimread said:
Women often try to get the man to divorce them and they don't initiate the proceedings themselves. She might try to fish you into accusing her and thereafter she will blame you for breaking the trust relationship. Women want to take the moral high ground despite them initiating it. Relationships with friends and family play a huge part and the last thing she wants to be seen is as the one who instigated the marriage breakdown. Your best best is to try rekindle it. Arrange a weekend away or something. If she is totally cold to it you know you lost her. Then you can make further plans. Your goal at the moment is to determine her state of mind and strategy.
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This is pretty much exactly what happened to me, we tried various things to save the relationship but in the end I decided on getting divorced as we simply were not getting anywhere. I knew it meant that I would be blamed in some part for the divorce but I knew we couldn't remain in limbo.
 
SauRoNZA said:
Yet it's also not of someone about to star in a porno.

It's a little flirtatious and risque (lite) and that's honestly that. Good lord man I've had more intense conversations with waitresses and no intention to actually pomp them.

She's nowhere near crossing any line. Maybe just toeing it a little for a bit of fun which OP isn't providing to her.

Do we expect her to be a nun?
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Not a nun. A wife. If what she was doing was harmless fun she wouldn't be keeping it a secret. This is how affairs start and by the sounds of it it's well past being similar to you flirting with someone who wouldn't give you the time of day if they weren't working for tips.

I really fccking hate this pretence that we don't all know the rules of relationships. Like they're really complicated and things aren't always how they seem. Nope, they're really simple, and if you think someone's cheating (sexually or emotionally) they probably are.

Here's why people cheat: relationships are exciting and make us feel all sorts of good in the beginning, then they become normal. We miss the initial excitement of mutual attraction, we don't know how to reignite something approaching it in our existing relationship, so we get it by iniating it in new relationships. You can rationalise it as harmless, but at the end of the day if you're getting it outside your primary relationship, you're cheating your partner.
 
The_MAC said:
When you get married you pretty much give that up - cannot imagine any valid reason to have "privacy" in a marriage. Why?
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I agree. You're basically giving up aspects of your individuality when you marry. Don't like it, don't get married.
 
Nick333 said:
I agree. You're basically giving up aspects of your individuality when you marry. Don't like it, don't get married.
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No. thats in your opinion and defined by your culture/beliefs. The marriage laws state nothing about the above. In fact, giving up who you are is the worst thing you can do.
Unless of course you like wifey picking out your undies and check shirts/chinos ;p
 
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