Wife issues [Solved]

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Anonymouse123

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I have been a long time purveyor of this site and have created an anonymous profile.

Just seeking some relationship advice.

Background: my wife and I have know each other since 17 years old, we are both 33 now, dated for approximately 5 years tied the knot and were married at 23, with 2 boys ages 6 and 3.

Recently she has been overprotective of her phone, I am not the one to go snooping but was finding it very odd. Last night I managed to get a hold of it when she was putting the kids to bed.

It turns out she has been chatting to her only ex boyfriend since June last year. She initially asked some law advice from him but has turned into a reminiscing about old times with some flirting. She sent him a pic of her from when they were going out in 2003. She is a Dr and has invited him for a consult to meet, he is a lawyer and invited her to go to court with him and she agreed. He is married with no children.

I do not think they have met as yet as nothing in the messages alluded to it.

I am so fusking lost at the moment, really don't know what to do or who to speak to. I want to confirm her tonight about this after kids are asleep. I could not sleep the entire night.

She has been the type to cheat and is quite against it. But fusk I don't know what is and what isn't anymore
 
take screen shots and such and send it to yourself as a pre-emptive measure. Perhaps install a keylogger and message logger type software on her phone that can be monitored on a pc or another cellphone.

Next step is to watch her and give her time. It may not lead to actual cheating so don't jump the gun.
 
Shaun108 said:
take screen shots and such and send it to yourself as a pre-emptive measure. Perhaps install a keylogger and message logger type software on her phone that can be monitored on a pc or another cellphone.

Next step is to watch her and give her time. It may not lead to actual cheating so don't jump the gun.
Click to expand...

what? didn't you die of aids?

also emotional cheating is just as bad as physical cheating, either way they have issues, deal with it like an adult.
 
Shaun108 said:
take screen shots and such and send it to yourself as a pre-emptive measure. Perhaps install a keylogger and message logger type software on her phone that can be monitored on a pc or another cellphone.

Next step is to watch her and give her time. It may not lead to actual cheating so don't jump the gun.
Click to expand...

Encouraging invading another individuals right to privacy - strange and sneaky advice.
Just because she's married to you doesn't mean her rights as an individual falls to the wayside.

Be a man! Confront the issue - talk about it. If it's something she want's to pursue, if it's something that will make her happy then at least you have your answer.

Nobody has a right to deny anybody else the chance to be truly happy. And if not happy with you, then at least give her the chance to be happy with someone she feels can make her happy.

Life is way too short for it to be consumed by an unhappy relationship.
 
Anonymouse123 said:
I have been a long time purveyor of this site and have created an anonymous profile.

Just seeking some relationship advice.

Background: my wife and I have know each other since 17 years old, we are both 33 now, dated for approximately 5 years tied the knot and were married at 23, with 2 boys ages 6 and 3.

Recently she has been overprotective of her phone, I am not the one to go snooping but was finding it very odd. Last night I managed to get a hold of it when she was putting the kids to bed.

It turns out she has been chatting to her only ex boyfriend since June last year. She initially asked some law advice from him but has turned into a reminiscing about old times with some flirting. She sent him a pic of her from when they were going out in 2003. She is a Dr and has invited him for a consult to meet, he is a lawyer and invited her to go to court with him and she agreed. He is married with no children.

I do not think they have met as yet as nothing in the messages alluded to it.

I am so fusking lost at the moment, really don't know what to do or who to speak to. I want to confirm her tonight about this after kids are asleep. I could not sleep the entire night.

She has been the type to cheat and is quite against it. But fusk I don't know what is and what isn't anymore
Click to expand...

Sheesh. Crappy situation to be in. Start with having a conversation with her and confronting the issue. Nothing has happened yet by the looks of it so there is time to work on the relationship. Don't be like the drolle here who have no respect for marriage or relationships in general. Marriage is hard work and sometimes you have to confront some issues. Obviously both of you are gonna have to be able to listen to each other and talk about issues that has been ignored for a long time. Do it now before it goes further.
 
Ouch, not sure what I would do in that situation. Good luck either way.

I would not give up on it and try work through it but again, not much has happened yet, so not sure if raising it with her would make it worse.
 
RedViking said:
Sheesh. Crappy situation to be in. Start with having a conversation with her and confronting the issue. Nothing has happened yet by the looks of it so there is time to work on the relationship. Don't be like the drolle here who have no respect for marriage or relationships in general. Marriage is hard work and sometimes you have to confront some issues. Obviously both of you are gonna have to be able to listen to each other and talk about issues that has been ignored for a long time. Do it now before it goes further.
Click to expand...

Solid advice
 
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