D3nz
Honorary Master
Absolutely. Because you took so long to figure out whatever you did,it's gotten bigger in her mind
-
Join the MyBroadband community
South Africa’s biggest forum. Discuss, discover, and connect with thousands of members.
-
Question of the Day: How do you normally pay for purchases in stores?
Women - the worst communicators!
- Thread starter Ancalagon
- Start date
Mila
Honorary Master
Maybe we should start a thread Men are the worst listeners.
Listening is the other side of talking. You cannot communicate successfully if you cannot listen.
Listening is the other side of talking. You cannot communicate successfully if you cannot listen.
D3nz
Honorary Master
+1
Oh please. Listening is no good is she isnt saying anything.
Communication involves making sure your message was understood. Women dont bother and assume men are psychic.
SirFooK'nG
Executive Member
I had to learn how to be more patient, and understanding. Its a simple (yet highly complex) scenario. I was advised to read Men are from Mars, Woman from Venus (but I'm a man and have not yet ... lol) The fundamental difference between men and woman is the way we tick. Men are completely single point object, goal orientated. Woman on the other hand are multi point emotional thinkers. As men, we try solve problems by looking at the result needed, woman on the other hand put much more effort into how to get there and everything between, where we just overlook that and thunder off to point B from Point A. An example of this is simple: Man goes shopping, he goes straight to what he wants, buys it and leaves. A woman will look and take in everything, each detail is important to her. Such as the colours, cut, fabric of an item. A man will not be concerned with all that.
Point is, even though we as men are not concerned by these things, we must learn not to dismiss them as being very important to woman. But it sway both ways, woman also need to realize that flooding the male brain with too much detail is a waste of time. We are not wired for that jazz, so we get bored and switch off. Not because we don't care, its just the way men are wired!
This is a classic & typical situation. Men are not interested in "fishing" for the problem, we expect it to be announced clearly and directly so we can deal with it. Woman on the other hand feel that we should know them well enough to pick up on what the problem is. Another woman could talk to her and get it, thats the way the female brain works. We males thou do need some spoon feeding, its just an unfortunate fact of how we tick!
Point is, even though we as men are not concerned by these things, we must learn not to dismiss them as being very important to woman. But it sway both ways, woman also need to realize that flooding the male brain with too much detail is a waste of time. We are not wired for that jazz, so we get bored and switch off. Not because we don't care, its just the way men are wired!
This is a classic & typical situation. Men are not interested in "fishing" for the problem, we expect it to be announced clearly and directly so we can deal with it. Woman on the other hand feel that we should know them well enough to pick up on what the problem is. Another woman could talk to her and get it, thats the way the female brain works. We males thou do need some spoon feeding, its just an unfortunate fact of how we tick!
Last edited:
Mila
Honorary Master
You should have listened in the first place. Not after you screwed up. By the time you have to ask what is wrong you have missed her telling you about 3 times.
See IRG's reply.
No, no, no. She'll tell everyone (her mother, her BFF, her hairdresser, the girl behind the cosmetics counter, her astrologer, her gay fitness instructor, her book club, her yoga partner, even her dog) before she tells you.
+1
But there was nothing to listen to! I'm actually a very good listener, believe it or not, but she never mentioned anything about us or me that bothered her.
So what must I listen to, if I am to discover this problem? There is NO way of knowing, despite what women think, what the problem is. I'm sorry, I really am not psychic.
@Fuma
I'm really angry with her for being disinterested in our relationship for the past month and refusing to communicate why. But I dont want to break up with her just yet.
Mila
Honorary Master
.LOL. But no. You just did not listen when she told you. Probably in the car. All men are deaf in the left ear... or they have selective hearing in that ear. And then she complained about it to everybody
And then forget that she hasn't told you.
Mila
Honorary Master
Makes Sense
Have you figured out what it is?
She might be trying to piss you off .. to have you do the dumping.
Mike Hoxbig
Honorary Master
Having kinda the same problem, except it's happened after 3 years of dating. The past 8 months or so really haven't been pleasant. She finally admitted that she's depressed and needs to figure out what's causing it, but it's starting to rub off on me and is making me feel miserable now. Same kak - I get generic one-line responses to anything I ask. So I thought fine, I'll give her space to figure it out, maybe see her less frequently to try and simulate the initial dating phase. But after 8 months of this I've just about had it.
So yeah don't listen to the other wisecracks saying that it's because you're new to the dating scene. This sh*t happens to everyone.
Mike Hoxbig
Honorary Master
Yep, as the bf you're generally the last to know. Also, if there are problems between the 2 of you, she won't come directly to you - she'll seek advice from everywhere else and weigh up all the options before coming to you with the best possible pitch.
What you did wrong is letting her stop making sammiches and get out of the kitchen.
Seriously though, it's a bit of an unfair generalisation thinking all women are like that. Not all women like to play these stupid little games. (Men have some too by the way). Eventually most women realise what's actually important in life and stop reading ridiculous meanings into every tiny little thing. Are you both quite young? Try calmly dicussing it with her, without making accusations, telling her it really matters to you, and so on. If she's mature enough I'm sure you can sort it out. If not, maybe you should look for someone who appreciates all your efforts.
Seriously though, it's a bit of an unfair generalisation thinking all women are like that. Not all women like to play these stupid little games. (Men have some too by the way). Eventually most women realise what's actually important in life and stop reading ridiculous meanings into every tiny little thing. Are you both quite young? Try calmly dicussing it with her, without making accusations, telling her it really matters to you, and so on. If she's mature enough I'm sure you can sort it out. If not, maybe you should look for someone who appreciates all your efforts.
.LOL. But no. You just did not listen when she told you. Probably in the car. All men are deaf in the left ear... or they have selective hearing in that ear. And then she complained about it to everybody
What, is "you're driving too close to that car/do you like what I've done with my hair/I need new shoes/this bitch at work...etc" some kind of code for "there's something about our relationship i'm not happy with"?
Read my second post in this thread (female communication fail, again! Jokes).
She went out last night for drinks with her female friend. This morning, I smsed her and asked her how it was and what time she got back. She said 10:30 and it was great to catch up. So I said, please let me know when you get home, in future. You know, this is South Africa we live in. I'm not worried about her cheating on me, I'm worried about her having a car accident or getting hijacked or something. I did say that to her. Anyway, she just says "Fine". Anyway, at this point I'm in the moer in. Also note, she has moaned previously about the boyfriend of the friend she had drinks with - how he sometimes goes out and doesnt let his now fiance know where he is and what time he is coming home. Thats apparently a no no, but me asking her to let me know when she gets home is not cool.
So I say to her (paraphrased), you haven't been acting yourself lately, I know you are under lots of stress so I'm not sure if its that or if its something about the relationship. Finally she tells me she is tired of feeling like an irresponsible child reporting to a parent. FINALLY. So I ask her when do I make her feel like that, silence (this is all via SMS). So, an hour and a half later, I say we will talk about it tonight, she says she was driving and will see me tonight.
Maybe I am bossy, so what? It isnt going to hurt my feelings to tell me. And you know whats more confusing, she wants me to be the man, to take charge and make decisions. So I must somehow know which decisions are manly decisions and which are me being bossy. But now that she left it for something like a month, I'm really *****ed off.
The thing that gets me is, yes I understand people get depressed and/or stressed, and that may influence how they act towards their partners. However, A) I'm not sure thats the cause in my case, B) your partner is supposed to help and support you. If you turn your backs on us, there is nothing we can do.
Women! You can’t live without them and you can’t kill them.