Zuma Vows to Save Blacks from 'Cleverness'

House

House

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After warning that black South Africans were losing respect for tribal chiefs by becoming “too clever”, President Jacob Zuma has vowed to fight cleverness in all its forms. “I will not rest on my leopard tails until I have rid myself, my family, the ANC and all South Africa of cleverness,” he said, before retreating to his intellect-proof bunker in Nkandla.

Zuma stunned South Africa on the weekend by telling traditional chiefs in Parliament that some blacks were getting “too clever”, apparently not a reference to his education policies, which have made a total of zero South Africans more clever.

This morning South Africa’s clever blacks reacted with shock and disgust, saying that they were embarrassed to be represented to the world by a man “who makes Mitt Romney look like a radical feminist intellectual”.

However, Zuma has defended his statements, saying that cleverness was a major threat to democracy in South Africa.

“Cleverness puts ideas in people’s heads, and before you know it they are asking where their tax money goes, and then you have anarchy,” said Zuma.

He urged black citizens to be on the lookout for the first symptoms of cleverness in their communities.

“It starts with a creeping suspicion that Late Iron Age customs might not be appropriate for the 21st Century,” explained Zuma. “It then escalates until your children are forming their own opinions, instead of asking their local chief to form them.”

Meanwhile, Zuma has defended the large crowd of ANC supporters that kept a DA march away from his Nkandla compound on the weekend.

“We salute those brave cadres who are ready to lay down their lives to prevent cleverness from reaching our modest home,” he said, adding that he was not angry but instead pitied Helen Zille.

“Deep down, in her woman’s heart, Helen knows that she should have been at home, warming her husband’s slippers, instead of marching,” he said. “It is so sad that instead of being true to her purpose in life, that is, becoming the fourth wife of a man, having babies, and then becoming invisible, she has chosen to learn how to read and in so doing, becoming terminally infected with cleverness.”

He said that it was “tragically inevitable” that clever blacks would gravitate towards her, “because they also like wearing jeans and doing similarly provocative things to flaunt their cleverness, like thinking”.

But, he said, he and the ANC would triumph. “Non-cleverness shall prevail! Liberation before contemplation! Riches before reason! Thuggery before thought! Amandla!”
Click to expand...

http://www.hayibo.com/zuma-vows-to-save-blacks-from-cleverness/

I am speechless!!! This must be some kind of joke...

Edit - at least now I can laugh at this as well...
 
Last edited:
As long as you realise it's satire. ;)
 
After warning that black South Africans were losing respect for tribal chiefs by becoming “too clever”, President Jacob Zuma has vowed to fight cleverness in all its forms.

Okay, seems legit...

“I will not rest on my leopard tails until I have rid myself, my family, the ANC and all South Africa of cleverness”

Just another day reading SA current affairs...

...he said, before retreating to his intellect-proof bunker in Nkandla.

*starts looking for hayibo link*
 
Give House a break. Reality is but a footstep behind.
 
Sure all Hayibo links should go in Off Topic - !
 
At least he would finally be leading by example. :o
 
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