How to deal with soon to be ex-husband...

B

Burnblaze

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2011
Messages
165
Reaction score
0
Location
Earth
Ok, so sometimes i wonder how the hell i got myself in this mess to begin with.... oh, i know, i tried being a wize ass at the age of 20.

I got married to a man 16years older than me, because i thought he was so mature and knows where he's going in life. 8 years later, my mother's predictions came true. He is acting like my boss! Even though we are separated and i already sued him for a divorce, he still tries to boss me around, and make my life a living hell. I'm not a mean person, and although i live in my own place, i still don't wanna argue with him in front of the kids.

He recons he can stop the divorce from going through and threatens that he will fight the divorce for the next 20 years. Is that even possible?

How the heck do you deal with a man like this without harming the kids in the process?
 
Burnblaze said:
He recons he can stop the divorce from going through and threatens that he will fight the divorce for the next 20 years. Is that even possible?

How the heck do you deal with a man like this without harming the kids in the process?
Click to expand...
There's no such thing as refusing someone divorce. Get a court date ASAP
 
Burnblaze said:
Ok, so sometimes i wonder how the hell i got myself in this mess to begin with.... oh, i know, i tried being a wize ass at the age of 20.

I got married to a man 16years older than me, because i thought he was so mature and knows where he's going in life. 8 years later, my mother's predictions came true. He is acting like my boss! Even though we are separated and i already sued him for a divorce, he still tries to boss me around, and make my life a living hell. I'm not a mean person, and although i live in my own place, i still don't wanna argue with him in front of the kids.

He recons he can stop the divorce from going through and threatens that he will fight the divorce for the next 20 years. Is that even possible?

How the heck do you deal with a man like this without harming the kids in the process?
Click to expand...

He's going to be pissed!! he was married to a womanz 16 years his junior, you know what that does for his ego and now its gone. He will probably try all sorts of things to stop the divorce, but I cannot see him being able to stop it completely, he may be able to prolong the ordeal but not stop it completely.

I think you must just take the high road and no matter how much of a tool he acts don't go down to that level (for the kids sake) Also leave all the talking about the divorce etc when you are not in the company of the children.

sorry cannot be of more assistance, haven't been divorced
 
/has vivid images .....

/sees my parents divorce play-out again

not a pleasant site.

The only advice I can give you is to do what my mother did:

whenever she had something to say about our father it was never to us or with us in hearing range.

whenever we moaned coz of stuff he said about her she would say that he is still our father & as such she can't discuss the issue. we know the truth & even though our parents don't love eachother it does not mean they can't love us.

your in for a long road but the end results will be worth it.

IMO divorcing our father was the best thing our mother ever did for us & herself..,
 
Burnblaze said:
it's not like i've been through a divorce before, so i am looking for advice.
Click to expand...

Break all non-legal contact with him until the divorce is through.
Contact your lawyers and confirm your options and have them send a legal letter to confirm non-legal contact.
Discuss this with your children openly and honestly without any accusations regarding the ex.
Get support system in place.
 
Human said:
What advice are you actually looking for or is this more an opportunity to vent?
Click to expand...

It's not like i've been through a divorce before, and since the whole process is a little scary, some advice would be nice. If i wanted to vent, i would've done so, but i'm not childish.

Thank you...
 
Burnblaze said:
It's not like i've been through a divorce before, and since the whole process is a little scary, some advice would be nice. If i wanted to vent, i would've done so, but i'm not childish.

Thank you...
Click to expand...

The laws nowadays are a bit more tricky than when my Mom divorced our father. Make sure that you have a good lawyer. Speak to the lawyer. Find out all the details you want to know & the dirties you don't want to know.

Is he the kind of person that will pack the children up & move them away from you without permission? - example
 
IMO divorcing our father was the best thing our mother ever did for us & herself..,[/QUOTE]

Thx for your advice. I know that in the long run, this will be the wisest decision i've made...ever, and not just for me, but for the kids as well.
 
ChilliGirl said:
Is he the kind of person that will pack the children up & move them away from you without permission? - example
Click to expand...

Sometimes he does tend to loose control and act like a complete lunatic that scares the living yesterday out of me, but lucky for me, the kids stay with me and he can only visit them at my place, since he doesn't have a place to stay and he can't afford a place either.
 
Burnblaze said:
Sometimes he does tend to loose control and act like a complete lunatic that scares the living yesterday out of me, but lucky for me, the kids stay with me and he can only visit them at my place, since he doesn't have a place to stay and he can't afford a place either.
Click to expand...
How does he plan on fighting this for 20 years if he can't afford his own place? I call BS.
 
That helps.

If you wish to chat via PM at times, please feel free to do so. I understand that there will be certain aspects that you would not really wish to post here.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X