Aborting a child with birth defects?

The issue for me would be if the child would be able to live an independent life. My worry is that once myself and my wife passes away, what would happen to the child/adult if he/she is dependent on other people.

I have arthrogryposis multiplex congenita and live a normal life.
 
Celine said:
i had a down's syndrome child at the age of 18 and let me tell you had i had the choice i would have aborted. i didn't know that he was going to be down's at the time but knowing what i got to know over the years, about down's syndrome, about institutes, about government assistance etc, i would definitely not have had him. this country is not geared to children with special needs. this country is NOT first world in that area and will never ever get to that stage. they claim they are there, but i'm sorry, from the experience i went through, this country is way, way down on the scale. there's a lot of catching up to do in this area and not only in the genetic area, in all areas.
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You had a Down Syndrome child?

Anyway, I'd propose to my SO to terminate.
 
It is easy talking about this, but if you are the parents facing this question from your doctor after seeing the sonars, listening to your baby's heart beat going at 150bpm, I doubt you would abort. We were blessed with a very healthy child and while my wife was pregnant and before the downs syndrome test, I already thought about aborting us that would be the case... I doubt I would have been able to make such a decision and my wife feels the same. All in all a difficult situation
 
I would have no issue in aborting, so long as it's early enough. It's one of the things my wife & I agree on.
 
Celine said:
i had a down's syndrome child at the age of 18 and let me tell you had i had the choice i would have aborted. i didn't know that he was going to be down's at the time but knowing what i got to know over the years, about down's syndrome, about institutes, about government assistance etc, i would definitely not have had him. this country is not geared to children with special needs. this country is NOT first world in that area and will never ever get to that stage. they claim they are there, but i'm sorry, from the experience i went through, this country is way, way down on the scale. there's a lot of catching up to do in this area and not only in the genetic area, in all areas.
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I admire that about you. Other women who have had a down's syndrome child say they wouldn't change a thing. You see the reality.
 
MsDenz said:
I admire that about you. Other women who have had a down's syndrome child say they wouldn't change a thing. You see the reality.
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Of course they don't... after the fact it's a completely different story.
 
Celine

i had a down's syndrome child at the age of 18 and let me tell you had i had the choice i would have aborted. i didn't know that he was going to be down's at the time but knowing what i got to know over the years, about down's syndrome, about institutes, about government assistance etc, i would definitely not have had him. this country is not geared to children with special needs. this country is NOT first world in that area and will never ever get to that stage. they claim they are there, but i'm sorry, from the experience i went through, this country is way, way down on the scale. there's a lot of catching up to do in this area and not only in the genetic area, in all areas.

+10 ^^^

It is easy to say now that you would like to abort, but not that easy once you 3 months in.
Luckly there is a test for downs now.
Unfortunately, you can not test for everything.
Most kids born with physical defects does not realise there is a problem, until they old enough to become self aware.
Some problems you only realise later in life, like from 3 years onwards. What do you do then?
 
I grew up with a "cabbage patch kiddie" in our house for a couple of years and it was never an issue. Her mom loved her so much.

My wife and I discussed this before we started a family and it was not an issue for us as we both had experienced people close to us not being all there (physically and mentally) and we have 2 relatives in special homes.

We are very grateful there is nothing wrong with our kids.

We have our reasons not to terminate but we also do not judge those that do make the decision.
 
Celine said:
i had a down's syndrome child at the age of 18 and let me tell you had i had the choice i would have aborted. i didn't know that he was going to be down's at the time but knowing what i got to know over the years, about down's syndrome, about institutes, about government assistance etc, i would definitely not have had him. this country is not geared to children with special needs. this country is NOT first world in that area and will never ever get to that stage. they claim they are there, but i'm sorry, from the experience i went through, this country is way, way down on the scale. there's a lot of catching up to do in this area and not only in the genetic area, in all areas.
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And that's why in the main it's pretty easy to make a decision if an abnormality is picked up. prenatal. If we are presented with a potential burden of serious and crippling financial special needs not all the love in the world is going to help . That's the reality check. But some will bring damaged people into the world regardless and hope for miracles.
 
Hosehead said:
And that's why in the main it's pretty easy to make a decision if an abnormality is picked up. prenatal. If we are presented with a potential burden of serious and crippling financial special needs not all the love in the world is going to help . That's the reality check.
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Wow, in that case we should abort all our children from poor families, all our children with physical defects and hell, all our children from rich people.

Children are financially crippling regardless of their physical or mental health.

Hosehead said:
But some will bring damaged people into the world regardless and hope for miracles.
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I'm religious and believe the miracle is life itself regardless of its perfection or lack there off. If any of my children where born with defects I would pray for strength and not for a magical cure because I'm a realist as well.
 
Tbh, I am actually surprised so many would go for an abortion, I don't see anything wrong with it, I think if you've ever been accompanied by someone with heavy defects you'd understand why.
 
HavocXphere said:
Definitely & without a shadow of doubt.

The scenario is unrealistic though. IRL is not "you know", but rather a doc tells you "high chance of". While I've personally not been in that position, I'd imagine the "chance" part really would mess with your head.
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To start off with, the gynaecologist draws blood and determine the chances of the child being born with a number of defects.

At this stage they can only indicate that there is a "high chance" of some birth defects, due to e.g. the mother's age, and a host of other factors that they pick up by analysing the blood, and they will indicate that to you.

You can then decide to proceed with an amniocentesis. The results of the amnio is pretty accurate, close to 98%. So the issue of "chance" is pretty much ruled out by western medicine and science.

THIS is why I cannot get my head around people that run to homeopaths and such for any kind of medical advice.
 
efitol said:
This. I have on a few occasions been labelled as "heartless" though.
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Why deprive a child of living a full life when you can just as easily have another one.

In most cases you never know until the birth and in that case I will love inconditionally.

For me Downs Syndrome is more of a physical defect than a mental one because some DS people are better human beings than their able minded counterparts.
 
Our first scan at 12 weeks showed potential signs of Down's, so we went back for a second scan at 20 weeks. The latter showed no defects, but if it had been Down's I would have gone for abortion without hesitation. Thankfully my partner was in agreement.

I'd also favour aborting if I knew the child was going to be deaf, blind or otherwise seriously crippled.

HavocXphere said:
Definitely & without a shadow of doubt.

The scenario is unrealistic though. IRL is not "you know", but rather a doc tells you "high chance of". While I've personally not been in that position, I'd imagine the "chance" part really would mess with your head.
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Early on it's just a probability, but later they can see defects like Down's.

samr1wp said:
i think the lady should make the decisions

she is carrying the baby and the man just needs to support her
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She's not going to be raising and paying for it alone, so it is not just her decision.
 
It's also easy to say you'll look after the kid, but what happens when it gets to the point where you can't anymore?
 
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