Adults without friends.

No friends here, like many have said, it appears to have been a natural progression as I have gotten older, I became more family focussed and less friend focussed.
I am also married to my best friend, so I am quite content where that is concerned.
As for confiding in anyone outside of immeadiate family, not a chance.

Just dont really feel the need for interaction with others outside my immeadiate family,......kinda ironic that I'm typing this very statement on an open forum, LOL
 
  • Like
Reactions: za1
EnchanterG said:
Am I the only one that noticed the friends with benefits AND a fiancee?

Anyway. I'm a recluse. I'm also paranoid, so I imagine out of all of us I'm most likely to go live in a cave with a tinfoil hat and a shotgun. Fortunately my better half keeps me socialised. Barely.
Click to expand...

No it's not meant like that ... it's just friends of convenience... help you with cash, let you use their sportscar... that sort of thing, not the 'benefits' you are thinking about.
 
za1 said:
Being married to a soul mate is incredible.
Click to expand...

It could be good, if you marry at the right age, and when you're ready for it. Most people these days don't. They just start out in life and then get married, leading to being divorced by 30. (OK statistically it's only something like half, not most people.) Also the whole "soul mate" concept is a bit naive IMO. It should be a well thought-out, logical decision.
 
At the risk of sounding like a cynic... Good on ya to all the posters here extolling the virtues of being married to your best friend or soul mate... BUT... Like TJ99 pointed out, there is a high probability that for half of you the shoe might be on the other foot someday. If you've narrowed your life down to a circle of two, you'll find things a bit sticky when that day comes. While women (or men) come and go, your real mates are mates for life... After your first divorce you'll realise that too.
Hell, two of my best friends live in Cape Town and I fly down three or four time a year for a boys weekend with them.
 
TJ99 said:
This



And this.

As you get older, all your friends tend to catch this disease called "marriage", meaning they spend all the time they aren't working, doing stuff like shopping for curtains, fixing the roof or being forced to have dinner every night with his in-laws, sit at home getting lectured, or some other emasculating nonsense. It's not that they don't want to do fun stuff with you anymore, go out for drinks or come over for a braai, it's just that they literally don't have time anymore. What sucks the most is that on the rare occasions when you do see your friends, you'll often notice a little more of them has died since the last time, you see it in their eyes...
Click to expand...
For some that may be true for more most that look of sadness is one of pitty for their single friends who are still alone.
 
Nerfherder said:
For some that may be true for more most that look of sadness is one of pitty for their single friends who are still alone.
Click to expand...

Nothing to pity, being single is awesome. The people who think you somehow need to be in a relationship (or sign a contract to be in a relationship) to be happy are usually exactly the types I'm talking about, who get married too easily just because they're scared of being alone, and then end up miserable.
 
As you get older you have to make the time and put in the effort to maintain friendships that mean something to you. My close core of friends have remained good mates now for (some of us) going on twenty years...
 
DigitalSoldier said:
Same here and my fiancee also my best friend :)

I do have lots of acquaintances though with whom I can share a drink.

My fiance's family is also pretty close. They get together almost once a week and if its not that we are visiting some of her friends. It's probably been 3 weeks since we last had a decent "us" night: sitting at home with a dvd and eating junk food :p
Click to expand...

+1

Same with me.
 
TJ99 said:
What sucks the most is that on the rare occasions when you do see your friends, you'll often notice a little more of them has died since the last time, you see it in their eyes...
Click to expand...

This i have seen in some of my long standing friends, its a sense that they look worn out and tired, like the spark is no longer there.
Some are even becoming "grumpy complaining old people" and the worst thing is they are only in their late 40's or early 50's. :wtf:

Personally, i work with people every day, so socialising and friends not very high on my list of weekend activities.
Somehow i think its my curse for being misanthropic, that i have to work with other people
And as my lady often states "If it wasnt for me you would be a reclusive hermit"
 
greg0205 said:
At the risk of sounding like a cynic... Good on ya to all the posters here extolling the virtues of being married to your best friend or soul mate... BUT... Like TJ99 pointed out, there is a high probability that for half of you the shoe might be on the other foot someday. If you've narrowed your life down to a circle of two, you'll find things a bit sticky when that day comes. While women (or men) come and go, your real mates are mates for life... After your first divorce you'll realise that too.
Hell, two of my best friends live in Cape Town and I fly down three or four time a year for a boys weekend with them.
Click to expand...

You make a valid point, however, in my case, I think the probability of this occurring is a little less, I am 45 and have been married for 22 years, if there is a subject my wife and I havnt fought about yet, I cant recall it.

I have also witnessed the exact opposite, my father in law lived for his loads of friends and ignored his family, when he died, around his grave were his entire extended family and only one single solitary friend.

I think the moral of the story is choose your partners as well as your freinds very carefully.
 
greg0205 said:
At the risk of sounding like a cynic... Good on ya to all the posters here extolling the virtues of being married to your best friend or soul mate... BUT... Like TJ99 pointed out, there is a high probability that for half of you the shoe might be on the other foot someday. If you've narrowed your life down to a circle of two, you'll find things a bit sticky when that day comes. While women (or men) come and go, your real mates are mates for life... After your first divorce you'll realise that too.
Hell, two of my best friends live in Cape Town and I fly down three or four time a year for a boys weekend with them.
Click to expand...

Really? My wife and I have been through hell together - which of my friends have I ever gone through anything similar with? Of everyone I've known, my wife is the only one who's stuck through anything. We bond through children, through financial difficulties, job difficulties and a lot of other things. It's kind of sad that you'd think some buddies with whom you share 'boys weekends' a couple of times a year could possibly be more reliable to you than your lifemate.
 
I couldn't imagine not having my friends, friends is important I think, especially if you are married. You need mates to go out with and have a dop.

I look at my in laws who have absolutely no friends and its rather sad. They are on top of each other constantly, he doesn't have a single friend and doesn't want his wife to have friends. Its really lame.
 
Madman88 said:
Socialising is hard work for me. Fortunately I am married to my best friend and I see her every day. She knows I could easily become a recluse if I was left to it. I have about 3 close friends other than my wife. I hate interacting on a social level with strangers. Kids parties and school functions are the worst for me.
Click to expand...

+1
 
cerebus said:
Really? My wife and I have been through hell together - which of my friends have I ever gone through anything similar with? Of everyone I've known, my wife is the only one who's stuck through anything. We bond through children, through financial difficulties, job difficulties and a lot of other things. It's kind of sad that you'd think some buddies with whom you share 'boys weekends' a couple of times a year could possibly be more reliable to you than your lifemate.
Click to expand...

Again, good for you, and I mean that. Remember 50% of marriages work and I'm really pleased you are in that group, but it's not like that for everyone. Just saying.
Missed the point on the Cape Town thing there... We've been like the five musketeers for the best part of twenty years, I see the two in Joburg every week but it's important enough for me to get on a plane to see the other two every opportunity I get simply because they don't live here.
 
I'm a loner, always have been.
I have three friends, one lives in Scotland (30 year friendship), one lives in London (20 years friendship) and one in Cape Town, also 20 years. I rarely see them, maybe once every few years. (the friend in Cpt more often lol)

The friend in Scotland was my only friend ever in school. Why did I not make friends ?
I was a reader, alt thinker and escapist (live mostly in my head) from a very young age.

There are many people who tried to cultivate a friendship with me over the years, but I
found them false and boring and I was uninterested lol

I often go for up to 2/3 weeks without seeing any other people, since I stock up and then don't go out my door, no shops, no restaurants, no nothing, just home with books and broadband. (Door bell disconnected and telephone on silent - always)
 
Last edited:
I have a bunch of friends... but only two I could count on no matter what. Im lucky to have those two close friends. My other friends and family are great as well :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X