Just to add on, bad behavior persists if left unchecked. And unfortunately the only way to nip it in the bud is if you act when the offence occurs. Your kid learned from another kid that "it's okay to bite" or bit someone "in revenge because that's what you do when other 'cross' you". Because the behavior wasn't addressed at that moment in time, because you wouldn't let them and/or you weren't present to do so. This behavior (I can almost guarantee you) will persist going forward into other play groups and with friends/family/yourself depending on why he felt like biting.
And to re-iterate, I know some parents can't be with their kids 24/7, working & earning a living to make sure you and the kid has a bright future is sometimes one of the sacrifices you need to make, but you have to sit down and think for a moment, when you hand your kids over to someone else to take care of them... is it enough just to wipe their butt, give them food and make sure they don't run away/get stolen? Because once introduced to society (play groups etc) there is no telling what kind of behavior they might pick up from others. Your kid could be the sweetest little angel ever... until he mixes with others that don't know the difference between right/wrong yet.
I got so pissed off at my sister when she said "Yes but they should know better" and I was like, "ARE YOU DRUNK? Of course they don't know any better, they're KIDS FFS! They don't know anything YOU are suppose to teach them those things!" (We were talking about respect for elders/discipline in general when they misbehave)
So I think you might have over-reacted because he's your precious little *insert eye color here* boy. But you have to sit down and think logically, if no one teaches him wrong from right, or they're not able to control the situation because of him (or others) misbehaving/not listening to what they're told, then how would he grow up to become a well-formed young man and go out into the world to conquer/mark off his own piece in this lifetime? How can you be proud of him if he rapes/murders/steals all because he wasn't taught that and only when the problem became apparent in his early teens/teens, did you try to "discipline" him when it's too late?
Buig die boompie terwyl hy groen is.
You know those sticks they put / tie to next to young trees? You (or the Teacher) is suppose to be that stick. If there's no stick, that tree grows wild/distorted and can affect municipal electrical lines/walls built on property and it won't grow as high as you'd like it to. But if there's a stick guiding him all the way through his young years, by the time he is able to stand on his own two feet he knows where to grow, how to grow and go from when the stick is taken away to where he will die someday.
I only parent 3 kids over weekends, so I have no idea what it is to be a full-time parent, but I know that once my nieces and nephew come over, when I say "This is how it is going to be" they know that THAT is how it is going to be. I haven't hit any of them, only wooden spoon/talking. And whenever I'm not around, it's "freedom" for them because mom doesn't do much to ensure discipline. Hopefully my sister will catch on. All I know is I rule with an iron fist at all times, and if I wasn't able to be there, I'd give strict instructions as to what to do with my kid to punish them when they misbehave.
Kids love routine (they won't admit it, THEY'RE KIDS) so whenever I ask my niece to not do something (she misbehaves/hits her brother), I tell her it's the "first and last time I'm talking to you, no excuses, I don't care who hit who first, you don't hit each other. If your brother hits you, tell me, I'll deal with him, but you never hit back!" (and I usually deal with her brother). But whenever they don't listen I just ask them, "Do you want to go to the bathroom??" (because that's where most of the "intimidating with the wooden spoon" takes place) and if they still don't behave, I take them (one by one) to the bathroom. Usually by then they're in tears already or know they've misbehaved. I make sure I talk to them on their level, ask them simple questions like "What did I tell you not to do?" to make sure they understand WHY they're there and ask them "And what did I say was I going to do if you misbehaved?" and make them go through the process of knowing I'm not kidding with them.
And that's how I expect any teacher to treat my future-fruit-from-my-loins because I already have that routine. Like I said, kids that young won't understand why you're yelling at them several hours after the incident. They need to be corrected right then and there, so if you're not there, and you don't want the teacher to discipline the child (because you're scared for whatever reason, or if you're saying "because i am the parent! not the teacher!") then I'm going to ask you a simple question: why leave your child there in the first place?
Like I said, I fully understand working parents, I support and respect that. But you can't expect your kids to grow up "knowing" certain things (and learning how and when to bite from others) if you're not around to teach them it's wrong. And if you block the people from teaching your kid those simple things with PASSIVE psychological "pushes" then I'm afraid you're hindering the child's progress and yes... I'd even go as far as call you a bad parent (not that I am saying that!!). Remember, monkey see monkey do. If he gets bitten, and he doesn't see the repercussion of those actions (going to sit in the naughty chair/wooden spoon or whatever), he will think it's OKAY to bite as well. Once bad behavior is tolerated, it's a bitch to get rid of.
