Advice please

lynda123 said:
Won't he think I'm being forward? Do guys really prefer for a girl to make the first move? I had a braai on the weekend and he was there, he kept staring at me as though he expected me to initiate something.
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I would way prefer it if a girl made the first move.
 
he probably feels the same way you do and started a similar thread on this forum :p have a search :D
 
If he's a MyBB member...

Then simply get him uncapped unshaped bandwidth. He'll be yours for life!
There problem ...solved! :D
 
lynda123 said:
Imagine the embarassment if he says No! Gosh, i would wish the earth would swallow me! No wonder us girls don't usually make the first move.
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Lol and u think this is any easier for guys? This isnt even a case of approaching a complete stranger.
Anyway, I would love it if a girl made the first move on me (and personally I would afford the person brave enough to ask the opportunity of _atleast_ one date regardless of how I initially felt) - but heres a hint about guys (or me in particular) I can not take hints very well, infact anything less subtle than being direct would likely pass me by: just dont leave the guy confused and wondering wtf just happened - was it/wasnt it/was it/now what etc.
 
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risami said:
Then simply get him uncapped unshaped bandwidth. He'll be yours for life!
There problem ...solved! :D
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Would work for me - would be nice to know the girl was rich beyond your wildest imagination
 
lynda123 said:
Imagine the embarassment if he says No! Gosh, i would wish the earth would swallow me! No wonder us girls don't usually make the first move.
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I wouldn't worry about it. Girls have a much higher chance of successfully asking out a guy than the other way around IMO. As long as you're not hideous he'll probably say yes. My last two girlfriends were the ones who made the first move and asked me out.
 
lynda123 said:
Imagine the embarassment if he says No! Gosh, i would wish the earth would swallow me! No wonder us girls don't usually make the first move.
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It's incredible just how vain women can be. They won't ask to go out with a guy because they don't want him to think that she's only interested in sex. Of course, this infers that she knows that's exactly what the guy will think, not that he'll just be glad to go out on a date. Naturally, all guys must only want you for sex because you're all soooo irresistible. In my experience, nearly all women are physically attractive and desirable in some way, but their personalities? ****ing repellent.

Anyways, my rant aside...

Lynda, try this: Send him a text saying: "Got any plans this weekend?". He'll reply with some waffle about "maybe" or "not much". Then reply back and ask him if he'd like to go out to dinner with you. Real simple. The way you've described him, I'd offer 80% probability that he'd be totally bowled over and says yes. 10% against if he's a wuss, 10% against if he really is unavailable for some reason that weekend. In both cases against, your ego and vanity will remain intact so no need to worry about embarrassment ;-)
 
just strike-up an arbitrary conversation with the guy, interests vary with age, here some tips...for example, if he is 16 talk to him about justin bieber, if he is 26 regale about your conquests on crysis2, if he is 36 talk to him about acquisitions and mergers, if he is 46 talk to him about political science , if he is 56 talk about retirement plans, if he is 66 talk about erectile dysfunction....soon you two will be hitting it off like porn stars. :D
 
lynda123 said:
Another advice thread.

There's a guy I am friends with, and there is chemistry between us. I would like to try out a possible relationship. I need tips on how to "suggest" this without making the first move.
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Thought I might just throw this out there...is your friendship worth destroying if the relationship fails?

If it is...just do it. Don't think about it and don't, _for the love of God_, be subtle. Okes just aren't wired that way.
 
Bah a friendship destroyed if one person is more attracted than the other is silly,yes or no you were friends already,if it works it works,if not,continue
 
i vote for this
Quote Originally Posted by evilstebunny View Post
Just bat your eyelids furiously & all the other things you girls do when you're on the hunt. He'll get the idea.
 
Make it hypothetical. Ask him "what would you say if I asked you out?". That way no one gets burnt since he'll never know for sure.
 
lynda123 said:
I had a braai on the weekend and he was there, he kept staring at me
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Its simple: If he is consistently looking at you then he is physically attracted. For a guy that is enough to make him say yes to pretty much anything you care to propose.

If you like, go & ask him point blank. But *very important*, phrase it so that its clear that you are interested in him. Then you'll get a straight answer back. If its phrased in a neutral way (low risk for you) then there is risk on his side if he says "yes" & seeing how he is caught off guard he'll default to avoiding risk.

lynda123 said:
Do guys really prefer for a girl to make the first move?
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Its certainly easier that way. Less cloak & dagger, reduced emotional drama, clearer yes/no outcome.
 
Hard Rain said:
It's incredible just how vain women can be. They won't ask to go out with a guy because they don't want him to think that she's only interested in sex. Of course, this infers that she knows that's exactly what the guy will think, not that he'll just be glad to go out on a date. Naturally, all guys must only want you for sex because you're all soooo irresistible. In my experience, nearly all women are physically attractive and desirable in some way, but their personalities? ****ing repellent.

Anyways, my rant aside...

Lynda, try this: Send him a text saying: "Got any plans this weekend?". He'll reply with some waffle about "maybe" or "not much". Then reply back and ask him if he'd like to go out to dinner with you. Real simple. The way you've described him, I'd offer 80% probability that he'd be totally bowled over and says yes. 10% against if he's a wuss, 10% against if he really is unavailable for some reason that weekend. In both cases against, your ego and vanity will remain intact so no need to worry about embarrassment ;-)
Click to expand...

On your ranting: To be honest with you, 99.5% of men want women for sex. I haven't been asked out to a proper date in a long time. Its always and I mean always sexually inclined. You would be surprised how great a woman's personality is the minute you decide you are not after the "kill".

Thanks for the advise. I'm thinking of doing a father's day lunch kinda thing? That's excuse enough, what do you think?
 
yaeger said:
Thought I might just throw this out there...is your friendship worth destroying if the relationship fails?

If it is...just do it. Don't think about it and don't, _for the love of God_, be subtle. Okes just aren't wired that way.
Click to expand...

He has sent me a love poem before, of which I asked him what it meant and he replied with a what do you want it to mean (I just hate it when guys do that).
 
Riot2 said:
Lol and u think this is any easier for guys? This isnt even a case of approaching a complete stranger.
Anyway, I would love it if a girl made the first move on me (and personally I would afford the person brave enough to ask the opportunity of _atleast_ one date regardless of how I initially felt) - but heres a hint about guys (or me in particular) I can not take hints very well, infact anything less subtle than being direct would likely pass me by: just dont leave the guy confused and wondering wtf just happened - was it/wasnt it/was it/now what etc.
Click to expand...

I thought guys were naturally the hunters? A hunter will do whatever needs to be done to get the prey, that makes it easier for them IMO. If there's one thing I have learnt is guys do not take hints and subtleness well.
 
lynda123 said:
I thought guys were naturally the hunters? A hunter will do whatever needs to be done to get the prey, that makes it easier for them IMO. ...
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That's about on par with thinking that it's "natural" for guys to cheat. It's like us men walking around thinking that all women want kids and are natural cooks.

It's just not true.

Nah, be straight with the guy. I think most of us men appreciate it more when people are upfront with us, especially women =]

You will get some men who do have the "I am man, must make move first, but first scratch arse" gene switched on, but to be honest, you'll end up having more issues what that type down the road, than the type who was comfortable with you making the first move.
 
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