Alone

[W@P]

Dude you just have to keep on keeping on.

I live alone. Work from home. Sometimes days go by that the only person I interact with is my domestic. I have no immediate family left. Sister, mother & father passed away. And I am not even 40 yet. Father committed suicide. Because of depression and loneliness after losing my mother. I am divorced and have 2 kids.

I get lonely AF. Especially after my father passed away in 2024. I spent 2 years trying to get him better from the sickness that is depression, and it drained the life out of me. Even tho I have these 2 beautifull boys looking up at me.

I have friends. A few. The one gets me out of the house quite often. Going to the shooting range to hit some gongs or clay pigeon shooting, etc. Which I am thankful for.

My social meter gets full quite quickly. Like a weekend away with friends, makes me withdraw from interaction a lot.

You have to find something that can keep yo going, something to look forward to, something that excites you, even if its just a little bit. Every bit helps.

Good luck bru.

 

[OnlyOneKenobi]

I think more people feel this way than most realise, especially once work becomes your whole social world.
Maybe try getting involved in something outside the house, even if it feels awkward at first.

Some of the best people I’ve met came from hobby groups and random shared interests rather than forced socialising.
Taking up exercise also helps a surprising amount, especially anything outdoors where you can clear your head a bit.
It sounds stupidly simple, but routine and sunlight genuinely help your mental state over time.
Loneliness also lies to you after a while and makes you think things can never change.
Lots of people look perfectly fine on the surface while privately struggling with the same thoughts.

A hiking club, running group, photography walks, gaming nights, anything like that can slowly reconnect you to people again.
Life gets very small when it’s only work and home every day.
Overthinking things in isolation usually makes the spiral worse.
Nothing changes overnight, but small consistent changes do eventually add up.
Exercise, decent sleep, and being around actual humans regularly makes more difference than people admit.

 

[lancon]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

 

[satanboy]

I was always suicidal when there were lots of people around me. I just felt that I didn't want to talk to any of them.

Still kicking.

Best advice I can give is to try different things (that you've never done before). Makes life interesting.

 

[Smiggles]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

“You can always commit suicide tomorrow.” Anonymous.
Call the number listed on the first page of this thread. Many helpful replies posted here.

 

[Foxhound5366]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

If you've got medical insurance, depression is covered ... you can normally get counselling support. Even if you just walk into a GP or Intercare and book an appointment to get guidance, there are a lot of support channels. If you're a State patient, it might be a bit harder.

I think you need to reach out to your family in Johannesburg and ask them for help, if you can. Even just a long phonecall with a loved one who cares about you will help.

Don't give up. Life is precious, and depression in winter is normal ... the cold and dark messes with us and amplifies every negative feeling. Spring is coming. And a quote that helps me: "It's always darkest before the dawn."

 

[Foxhound5366]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

You know the best way to eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Let's start with getting you some food. Do you have any in your house? Or can you go out and buy your favourite tasty burger? That's the first step. Take it.

 

[PaulKempTheSecond]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

Lifeline and a couple of other free lines you can call. Start there since it’s just a call and physically talking about it is a good start.

 

[Cius]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

So sorry you feel this way man. Definitely recommend seeking professional help. From personal experience I can say depression is possible to overcome. I had a serious period of it at one point several years ago and came out stronger on the other side.

As others have said I recommend joining something. I was also very much not a physical or exercise type but 2 years back I started doing Judo with my teenage son. Did not realize how weak my body had gotten sitting behind a PC for 15 years with almost no proper exercise and despite a slightly painful start I feel a lot better about myself and have a lot of new friends due to starting Judo. Started it at age 45 and took it carefully and it was worth it in every way. Doing something as a group like that I fund much easier than self motivated stuff. Exercise boosts your mood a lot if you lack that in your life.

Sitting and moping about it is the enemy. Taking any kind of positive action and just trying can change everything. My advice is stop thinking about what is wrong and just try anything. There is nothing more fun that learning something new, getting stronger in something, and doing it with like minded people. Can change your life.

 

[Craig_]

Treasure your alone time.. From the minute you are born, you have people around you. You go to school, you have people around you. You get a job, you have people around you. You get married and have kids, you have people around you. My alone time is very precious to me, it's when I relax and reflect and please understand, being alone is very different from being lonely. I interact with people when I chose to and those moments are cherished too, so I'm often alone but never lonely.

This^

I can't remember the last time I had any alone time. The only time I'm alone at the moment is the 3 to 4 minutes I walk between home and work every day ( a few times a day), and most of the time I run into people who want to talk.

 

[aleksandar]

Join this group, it does not cost a lot per year and they have activities all the time and for various levels.
It really helps to get out.

Westside Adventurers - Cape Town

Join our Westside Adventurers community to experience Cape Town’s outdoor lifestyle and social activities!

westsideadventurers.co.za

Check your vitamin D levels, if low it can really mess you up.

 

[Craig_]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

Luckily you at least have this group of misfits on the forum, there's some good advice in here. The best would probably be to get out and go for a walk, find things to do that you can actually enjoy. Even if that is just drinking a beer at a spot with an ocean view. Maybe give us a rough idea on where in Cape Town you are, I'm sure there'd be some good tips on lekker spots.

 

[DarkStarMonday]

Ever felt so alone that suicide seems logical.
I only talk to the people at work and no after hours interaction with anyone

I wish was alone LOL !!!!

Some people would pay good money for that !!

EDIT: I usually pretend to be interested in other people convo's - but a little piece of me in my stupid head says "WISH they would STFU"

is that normal ?

 

[Smiggles]

I wish was alone LOL !!!!

Some people would pay good money for that !!

EDIT: I usually pretend to be interested in other people convo's - but a little piece of me in my stupid head says "WISH they would STFU"

is that normal ?

 

[Segg]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

Get your ass to Lions head and pick up some McDonalds on the way I'd recommend the Quarter Pounder & an Oreo McFlurry.

Once you've done the hike and said howzit to people passing you take a moment at the top and enjoy the scenery.

 

[Grant]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

see your gp - very soon.
perhaps ask for a sedative like valium - being a sedative it dulls / smooths out those emotional peaks and dips ppl often go thu.
you will also be able to get some sleep (drowsiness being a side affect).
as far as pharmaceuticals - you need short term immediate intervention.

get out of home - take a drive, or train to simonstown - go check out the penguins at boulder bay - animals can bring massive amounts of pleasure.
explore your city - take a walk thu company gardens in town, go to the museum, art gallery, planetarium etc - visit the holocaust centre alongside. go explore the castle.

perhaps get a pet - cat or dog - again, huge amount of pleasure from a pet eagerly waiting for you to get home everyday.

a song:

Joel, who said he once attempted suicide himself, stated in a 1985 interview that he wrote the song as a way to help young people struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts.

 

[Grant]

Get your ass to Lions head and pick up some McDonalds on the way I'd recommend the Quarter Pounder & an Oreo McFlurry.

Once you've done the hike and said howzit to people passing you take a moment at the top and enjoy the scenery.

eee
you have me craving

 

[gogga_]

Don't give up. Life is precious, and depression in winter is normal ... the cold and dark messes with us and amplifies every negative feeling. Spring is coming. And a quote that helps me: "It's always darkest before the dawn."

I could never live in England. The wet gloomy weather would be the end of me.

 

[Solitude]

I've finally broken down. I need help but don't know where to go. My only family left is in jhb and no one in CT to turn to.cant sleep. Last tome I ate was Sunday.

I highly recommend seeking professional help if you can. It's been mentioned before but go see a GP and then after that a psychologist if possible.

And I know you said you aren't an athletic type but man, the gym changed my life.

Hey, and you are welcome to send me a message if you would like to join a small whatsapp group with some great people. Some of them in the Cape.

I've been where you are. Things will get better again. The most difficult part is getting out of the hole you are currently in.

 

[Jet-Fighter7700]

I could never live in England. The wet gloomy weather would be the end of me.

try Toronto -18, then we separate the Boys from the men, cabin fever is real.