Am I right?

krycor said:
One thing i come across often is guys going thru their gf's/wives phones/email etc is that normal? I mean it seems kinda well intrusive.
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Depends on what has happened in the past IMO.

I wouldn't - unless something has happened in the past
 
WHat phone you using and what is she using? I have a spy application that gives you all the info on her phone without you actually being caught going through her stuff:p

Regarding your situation, dont be jealous! Try to flirt and give out your number to other girls and see how she feels about it, if she doesnt mind have your fun and find someone else.
 
RichardG said:
Your jealousy side should never come in a relationship there should always be trust, if there is no trust some relationship never work, plus you probably are not giving her enouh space as well.

If you trust her she would of been open from the word go with you and not kept it behind your back.
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Bull$hit. The moment they know for sure you trust them unconditionally, that's when the $hit starts.
 
Slootvreter said:
Bull$hit. The moment they know for sure you trust them unconditionally, that's when the $hit starts.[/QUOT

Dude you meeting the wrong women...
That would mean you would tell your gf not to wear make-up, check on her e-mails, cellphone record, and phone her 24/7 of everyday...

If she hurts you find be it, move on there are tons of fish in the sea.

Even Gumtree can find you someone :)
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RichardG said:
Slootvreter said:
Bull$hit. The moment they know for sure you trust them unconditionally, that's when the $hit starts.[/QUOT

Dude you meeting the wrong women...
That would mean you would tell your gf not to wear make-up, check on her e-mails, cellphone record, and phone her 24/7 of everyday...

If she hurts you find be it, move on there are tons of fish in the sea.

Even Gumtree can find you someone :)
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AFAIK you are the one looking for women? :) Anyway, I meant as soon as she realized you don't ask questions about things she does/people she sees, it's an open highway for her.
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Dolby said:
My girlfriend needs to attend a support group twice a week. However something recently came to light which angers me - but I'm not sure if I'm over reacting?

I'm a jealous person and hate her swapping numbers with guys. However she met a guy at this support group and swapped numbers before even knowing him. I wasn't told and as far as I know ,she deleted SMS's so I wouldn't find out. After a while, she said his SMS's started crossing the boundries and she told me - as well as arranged a superior at the group to chat to this guy and tell him to ease off.

Last week he approached her and apologised for his behavior in person - which she accepted.

The next day he apologised again via SMS ... to which she replied ... and he replied ... and she replied. His SMS's were flirty. She then deleted the SMS's so I wouldn't find out.

Am I right in being angry, as she firstly hid the fact she swapped numbers with him - and secondly they SMS'd each other behind my back - delebratley deleting SMS's so I wouldn't find out? Once the superior intervended - that should have been the end of it - but instead she replies to his SMS's and deletes again so I won't find out?
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Firstly don't go through her phone. if a person wants to cheat they will cheat either way. If you go through her phone you will find what you want to find.

Secondly i also would be mad if my woman did the same thing(lend money from her ex-bf/father of her baby). You have every right to be mad with this one.

Thirdly don't let her stress you out, even if she does don't let her. Just tell her where to **** off.

If she is tied of the relationship then she must say so
 
Dolby, I've known you and your GF for a while now so I have a bit of insight as to the complexities of the situation.

It's almost impossible to fully understand the dynamics between 2 people - especially when they have been through as much as you 2 have. I know without a doubt that you love one another whole heartedly but I also know that she has put you through hell in the years that you have been together. Is love enough to weather any storm? The romantic in me wants to say yes, but I'm a realist for what its worth and I know such declarations are foolish and naive. Love is not enough, but I believe that commitment is. Was she right in lying to you? Absolutely not. Is your anger justified? Hell yes. Would she maliciously hide something from you in an attempt to decieve you? I dont think so. I also know that, in light of what has transpired, she has offered to cut all ties with the support group in order to spend more time with you and to eradicate the possibility of any untoward behaviour arising from the social connections that the support group encourages.

Does this mean you have to forgive her? No. That choice is yours. But I do know that she adores you and despite her consistent mistakes and your subsequent reactions (all of which are borne out of disappointment in her, I'm sure) she has intimated to me that she will do everything in her power to win your trust back.

I'm not here to fight her case, but I've seen the connection that the 2 of you have and I think it would be a pity for you to part ways. She has hurt you time and time again but I like to think she has a good heart. Having said that, you need to look out for your own happiness. I just hope that the 2 of you can eventually find your happy place. Both of you deserve it after all that has happened. I know its been a rough year - roll on 2009!
 
Not uncommon for someone in a support group to be very close to others in that group- even if with the opposite sex -as they do have shared experiences which bond them very close on a friendship level outside of relationships with their partners- especially if the partners are not involved with their recovery process.
However, there is something- a danger zone in early recovery concerning friendships of the opposite sex- which is called 13th stepping, and they (the person in recovery) need to be aware of this, or as you said a "supervisor"/go-between or whatever you want to call it, presumably took care of this earlier. That should have stopped the problem, but clearly hasn't so what I would recommend is that you have a meeting again to set boundaries. You can't stop her going to support groups but you need to discuss the trust issues and basically it sounds like a communication gap somewhere, and if you can resolve this, hopefully with a facilitator, then you'll both be off on a better footing. But you need to resolve the issue and soon.
 
Can i ask how you found out she was deleting messages because if you have some magic way of getting them back i would be very grateful for a pm :), o wait im assuming she told you about deleting them right?

This sounds dodgy to me, i would flippin do my mind and that would be it, over and done.
 
Hosehead said:
Not uncommon for someone in a support group to be very close to others in that group- even if with the opposite sex -as they do have shared experiences which bond them very close on a friendship level outside of relationships with their partners- especially if the partners are not involved with their recovery process.
However, there is something- a danger zone in early recovery concerning friendships of the opposite sex- which is called 13th stepping, and they (the person in recovery) need to be aware of this, or as you said a "supervisor"/go-between or whatever you want to call it, presumably took care of this earlier. That should have stopped the problem, but clearly hasn't so what I would recommend is that you have a meeting again to set boundaries. You can't stop her going to support groups but you need to discuss the trust issues and basically it sounds like a communication gap somewhere, and if you can resolve this, hopefully with a facilitator, then you'll both be off on a better footing. But you need to resolve the issue and soon.
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Something tells me you know just the kind of 'support group' the gal in question attends ;)
 
superB said:
Something tells me you know just the kind of 'support group' the gal in question attends ;)
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I haven't a clue exactly which one or even if it is a step group. However something like 90% of all support groups in this country are 12 step based groups and these are legion. (The rest being medical and church groups) Co-dependency, overeaters, sex and love addiction, aa, na, but to name a few. Even if it's not a Step group, the behavioural issues raised are the same for any group.
 
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