Am I right?

[Dolby]

My girlfriend needs to attend a support group twice a week. However something recently came to light which angers me - but I'm not sure if I'm over reacting?

I'm a jealous person and hate her swapping numbers with guys. However she met a guy at this support group and swapped numbers before even knowing him. I wasn't told and as far as I know ,she deleted SMS's so I wouldn't find out. After a while, she said his SMS's started crossing the boundries and she told me - as well as arranged a superior at the group to chat to this guy and tell him to ease off.

Last week he approached her and apologised for his behavior in person - which she accepted.

The next day he apologised again via SMS ... to which she replied ... and he replied ... and she replied. His SMS's were flirty. She then deleted the SMS's so I wouldn't find out.

Am I right in being angry, as she firstly hid the fact she swapped numbers with him - and secondly they SMS'd each other behind my back - delebratley deleting SMS's so I wouldn't find out? Once the superior intervended - that should have been the end of it - but instead she replies to his SMS's and deletes again so I won't find out?

 

[Devill]

My girlfriend needs to attend a support group twice a week. However something recently came to light which angers me - but I'm not sure if I'm over reacting?

I'm a jealous person and hate her swapping numbers with guys. However she met a guy at this support group and swapped numbers before even knowing him. I wasn't told and as far as I know ,she deleted SMS's so I wouldn't find out. After a while, she said his SMS's started crossing the boundries and she told me - as well as arranged a superior at the group to chat to this guy and tell him to ease off.

Last week he approached her and apologised for his behavior in person - which she accepted.

The next day he apologised again via SMS ... to which she replied ... and he replied ... and she replied. His SMS's were flirty. She then deleted the SMS's so I wouldn't find out.

Am I right in being angry, as she firstly hid the fact she swapped numbers with him - and secondly they SMS'd each other behind my back - delebratley deleting SMS's so I wouldn't find out? Once the superior intervended - that should have been the end of it - but instead she replies to his SMS's and deletes again so I won't find out?

You are aloowed a bit of anger, not too much though

Talk to her, ask her how she would feel if another woman smsed you in a flirty way and you deleted it?

 

[Dolby]

Apart from the above - I've been irritated lately that she borrowed money from her exboyfriend/father of her child - without telling me (I found out ...)

This support group also makes us never see each other - as on my Xmas party she was having coffee with the support group. She missed my brothers birthday lunch due to a suppor group event as well.

At times, they also go to currey after this group and she's back at 11 or 12pm - after I'm asleep. We live together - but this week I saw her on Tuesday evening, an hour on Thursday and then Saturday at 10am. Surely for a couple to live together and you see each other so little, is not good?

What worries me is that I am the one upset about the fact we didn't see each other - it didn't really bother her as the support group are now friends.

 

[Jewelbox]

Can you trust such a person? I doubt it!

 

[Dolby]

You are aloowed a bit of anger, not too much though

Talk to her, ask her how she would feel if another woman smsed you in a flirty way and you deleted it?

I've chatted to her and she says that because of my jealousy and reaction, she had little choice because I'd explode. Finding out has made it worse though - and is seriously threatening our relationship of 2 years.

 

[Devill]

Apart from the above - I've been irritated lately that she borrowed money from her exboyfriend/father of her child - without telling me (I found out ...)

This support group also makes us never see each other - as on my Xmas party she was having coffee with the support group. She missed my brothers birthday lunch due to a suppor group event as well.

At times, they also go to currey after this group and she's back at 11 or 12pm - after I'm asleep. We live together - but this week I saw her on Tuesday evening, an hour on Thursday and then Saturday at 10am. Surely for a couple to live together and you see each other so little, is not good?

What worries me is that I am the one upset about the fact we didn't see each other - it didn't really bother her as the support group are now friends.

That does not sound healthy for a relationship, mate why don't you have a nice talk with her?

Tell her you feel that she is spending to much time with the support group and to little with you.

 

[RichardG]

Firstly are you 2 in an open relationship honest about everything.

Your jealousy side should never come in a relationship there should always be trust, if there is no trust some relationship never work, plus you probably are not giving her enouh space as well.

If you trust her she would of been open from the word go with you and not kept it behind your back.

You've all the right to be jealous she has been sms'ng some other guys digits for how long 2 week - 2 months - 3 months and not sms your own digits. If she was honest from the word go that she swoped her digits with another dude. Then you've nothing to worry about

How long has this been happening ? And you only found this out recently.

Do you 2 stay together ?

 

[Dolby]

Can you trust such a person? I doubt it!

Not if they're being malious and deliberatly deleting PM's, SMS's and the like. It makes one wonder -why? What did those SMS's really contain?

 

[Dolby]

How long has this been happening ? And you only found this out recently.

Pretty much since she started the group (3 months back). They - ideally - should all be contact. So it went from 4 numbers (including the guy mentioned) to about 10 odd numbers rom this group.

 

[Ou grote]

If u keep talking to her about it and being upset about it, it's kinda like a catch 22.
You may be driving her into his arms.

Tough one.

 

[blunomore]

Sounds like she is with this support group 24/7.

May I ask what it is for? Surely she can also use other support mechanisms that would not take her away from you so often............................

 

[xrapidx]

I'm a bit confused as to why she deletes them - do you snoop through her things?

My girlfriends know to tell me everything, I'm not jealous, and don't care much for how many 'boy'friends they have - but try lie to me - and you'll be out the door at light speed.

 

[RichardG]

I'm a bit confused as to why she deletes them - do you snoop through her things?

My girlfriends know to tell me everything, I'm not jealous, and don't care much for how many 'boy'friends they have - but try lie to me - and you'll be out the door at light speed.

I respect you a lot - I found out the hardway.
There must always be honest with the other half, if there is no honesty then the relationship wont ever work
+1

 

[Dolby]

Sounds like she is with this support group 24/7.

May I ask what it is for? Surely she can also use other support mechanisms that would not take her away from you so often............................

Can't realy say :/ Sorry ...

But it's started 3 months ago with a a gorup meeting twice a week for 1-2 hors after work - and escalated to helping with events, picnics, assisting with the newsletter and from 9pm till betweeen 22:20-00.00 ...

I'm a bit confused as to why she deletes them - do you snoop through her things?

My girlfriends know to tell me everything, I'm not jealous, and don't care much for how many 'boy'friends they have - but try lie to me - and you'll be out the door at light speed.

I snoop now - yes. I have to ... recently the only way of knowing what's going on in her life (for various reasons)

 

[xrapidx]

I respect you a lot - I found out the hardway.
There must always be honest with the other half, if there is no honesty then the relationship wont ever work
+1

Dishonesty, no matter how small, ends up hurting both people, what might seem like a small white lie at the time will build distrust in a relationship.

 

[xrapidx]

I snoop now - yes. I have to ... recently the only way of knowing what's going on in her life (for various reasons)

No offense, but if it got to that level with me I'd rather move on.

 

[Nocturnity]

Well, I just ended a 2 year relationship so I know how things can quickly become real complicated. To be honest with you, this doesn't sound like a workable relationship to me. It sounds like she's living a different life and coming home to a boyfriend who keeps "her home" running while she doesn't. I'm not trying to be nasty or anything.

This is how most affairs start.

 

[Ou grote]

Can't realy say :/ Sorry ...

But it's started 3 months ago with a a gorup meeting twice a week for 1-2 hors after work - and escalated to helping with events, picnics, assisting with the newsletter and from 9pm till betweeen 22:20-00.00 ...



I snoop now - yes. I have to ... recently the only way of knowing what's going on in her life (for various reasons)

Sex addiction?

 

[hoegh]

Sex addiction?

lol, the internets helping hand strikes again!! but seriously dude, you need to find out what exactly this support group is for, i don't mean to put you down but if she is hiding these things from you then who knows what is going at these meetings, and as others have said, don't hide your anger but you have to keep it in check otherwise you will go off the rails completely and end up in an arguement and then forget what exactly you were fighting about!

 

[krycor]

One thing i come across often is guys going thru their gf's/wives phones/email etc is that normal? I mean it seems kinda well intrusive.