Am I too young?

How do you know you have not been the mother she deserves? Maybe you have been but you just do not think so.
 
superB said:
Well as I've mentioned in previous threads I'm bipolar. I feel like this has really stood in the way of me being the kind of mother my daughter deserves. Why do I want to do this to another child?
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That does complicate things, but I'm sure it doesn't rule it out completely. Maybe best to speak to your doctor about that aspect of it? Especially if you would want another kid, apart from that.
 
My cousin got pregnant at the age of 17. Our extended family where up in arms about it. But a better thing couldn't have happened. This girl became the jewel of our family. A nicer and lovelier person doesn't exist on this planet.

Unplanned and unwanted kids can be the highlight of ones' life.

I remember the day she introduced her boyfriend to the family whom she planned to marry a couple of years ago. All us (predominantly male) cousins went to huge effort to audit and vet and scrutinize the poor fellow to make sure that he was the right one for her. And we made sure he knew it. We were almost like an THE Italian family.

It seems like it worked.
 
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superB said:
I've been thinking a lot lately about having kids. I'm not sure that I want anymore (I have a daughter of 6). It's not that I dont love children - I certainly adore my daughter, but I just dont think I want anymore. I'm only 23. Do you think I'm too young to make this decision? For me it's quite important - I know that the relationship that I'm trying to establish at the moment could be seriously affected by this decision.

Should I just put those thoughts on the back burner for now, or is this something I need to take into serious consideration?
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My sister has 3 kids. 6 / 5 and 1. She's 27 now. I think it's safe to say you can wait around a couple of more years. At least when your daughter is 13/14 she could help with the new baby if needed.
 
I don't think you are to young, maybe now you don't want, but maybe in 5 years you will change your mind, one never knows what will happen down the line and you have every right to feel like this now but don't be totally closed to the idea.
 
Kim_Webchick said:
I don't think you are to young, maybe now you don't want, but maybe in 5 years you will change your mind, one never knows what will happen down the line and you have every right to feel like this now but don't be totally closed to the idea.
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superB, and for the love of my God. Please use contraception? Like Kim said, you might change your mind 5 years down the line. Doesn't mean you can just think "Oh well I decided no more so no more"

Not like my sis... :|
 
I do not want kids never have(and i'm way past 23), but i's a fraid that i wake up one morning and want some and had the procedure done, that said you are so young you will have to take hormone replacement tablets, go in to early menopause, lose bone density you are going to age very quickly......ect....

So you are going to have to drink a pill every day why not just drink the pill every day. And if you are in a commited relationship after sorting through the stuff you are working on let him get snipped and store the sperm.....:D
 
superB said:
UPDATE:

He definitely wants kids.

Now what?

Do I stay in the hopes that I'll change my mind or pack my bags now?

I really didnt want to do all this thinking today :/
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Oke my bad i didn't read the whole post.

This could be a deal breaker...... speak to him tell him you do not want kids. ( not soon, not in the next 10 years ) Maybe his idea is also far in the future and by then who knows either of you might have changed your minds.


But beware i can tell you phyco stories about my ex and him wanting babies......:D
 
I think if you don't want one in the near future you could always have a semi-permanent solution.. but don't go for a permanent one just yet. women change their mind :p

2ndly while it may be hard right now with your current kid you may be happy with result after a few more years when she becomes more independent and more of person with goals and ideals. You don't want the regret something you can't change that was done with a hasty decision(relative to length of time you have to live with decision).

wrt not wanting the same thing, maybe you should discuss? your concerns with him, perhaps a compromise can be made.. but like you say u don't want to waste x number yrs to find you have not changed your opinion and he is holding you ransom either. Tough choice that one.
 
superB said:
I've been thinking a lot lately about having kids. I'm not sure that I want anymore (I have a daughter of 6). It's not that I dont love children - I certainly adore my daughter, but I just dont think I want anymore. I'm only 23. Do you think I'm too young to make this decision? For me it's quite important - I know that the relationship that I'm trying to establish at the moment could be seriously affected by this decision.

Should I just put those thoughts on the back burner for now, or is this something I need to take into serious consideration?
Click to expand...
Edit

Only saw the necro move after posting....
 
I had my first when I turned 29. I knew I wanted children, since I was 20 or maybe even a little longer. Now I regret not having my first earlier.
But I was like a regular "Charlie Harper" back then and thinking back, I would've made a huge mistake having a child with the woman I was involved with then.

So a lot to concider.
 
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