Anorgasmia

If I may.

You may be concentrating to hard on 'down under' when alot of this is also in her head. It sounds like she may have been shuttered in the whole 'sex etc is dirty' non-sense which is all to common. Start with a position that she can confirm feels like it works for her (on top I find is good for ladies) then when it starts getting steamy get her to think about her most erotic fantasy and if possible disclaim it to you during the event, then if possible play along verbally. Its her mind that is going to push her over the edge and OOOOing in no time.
 
Most women can only orgasm if they go to their dark room where no one else exists.Tell your wife to try this.
 
Make her squirt on a few occasions by hand so she can get used to the feeling. Once she's gotten the hang of it, she'll get there much quicker and you'll enjoy it too. Google can be your friend.
 
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I think Ockie nailed it(with what he said)

she needs to get herself off. and try different things. how will she know what she enjoys if she cant do it to herself?

honestly it sounds like it is more in her head than anything else. and the only way to fix the problem is to talk about it. she needs to find her buttons, push them, figure out what it is she likes and then teach you.

and as weird as this sounds, you are going to have to not finish a few times. my logic with that is when you finish the "task" of procreation is complete. so if you dont finish the task is not complete and it might help her get over the hurdle. sort of force through it and find what works.

I can also suggest erotic literature. sometimes that is more important than the right mood, or stimulus
 
Baxteen said:
I think Ockie nailed it(with what he said)

she needs to get herself off. and try different things. how will she know what she enjoys if she cant do it to herself?

honestly it sounds like it is more in her head than anything else. and the only way to fix the problem is to talk about it. she needs to find her buttons, push them, figure out what it is she likes and then teach you.

and as weird as this sounds, you are going to have to not finish a few times. my logic with that is when you finish the "task" of procreation is complete. so if you dont finish the task is not complete and it might help her get over the hurdle. sort of force through it and find what works.

I can also suggest erotic literature. sometimes that is more important than the right mood, or stimulus
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Please refer to my sig. Of course I did. :D:p

And you are right. OP is gonna have to be selfless for a while. Make it all about her untill this is figured out. I think it is very very important to get this right for her. I think it is a shame is someone cant enjoy a orgasm. And besides, I learned the other day that making it ALL about your partner is just as much fun if not even more so than getting your rocks off and blowing your load. Last time with my bear it was all about him. Used some toys on him and erm ... other things .... and went on like this for like two hours .... with some breaks in between to have a smoke or for him to just take a breather. I was not touched at all during that two hours session and once he had cum, he asked about me and I said you know what ... dont even worry about me. That was awesome for me and I walked out of there with a big grin on my face.
 
I totally agree. making it 100% about them is sometimes more fun then finishing yourself.

but when its the third session in a row that you don't finish it starts becoming a bit difficult.

personally I have never made it to a fourth. but OP can maybe get there. its for the greater good.
 
RazedInBlack said:
It could be you're not sexually compatible with each other.

But also:


She has to come to the 'party' so to speak and participate. Foreplay and the build up leads to a possible explosive err . . . result. :D

Is she open to a three-some?
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That is not as far-fetched as it sounds. My wife never had an orgasm with her first 2 sexual partners, but we've never had that problem. She says it just never happened, there was no reason why it didn't that she could put her finger on - no pun intended.
 
Baxteen said:
personally I have never made it to a fourth. but OP can maybe get there. its for the greater good.
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Ja that might be a bit hectic, I dont mean he must never cum.....hell....that would be evil of me. But like every second session or so .... her her her her .... and again HER! And be sure to tell her also that if she does not cum the first, the second, or the third session, it is not a problem. You enjoy these HER sessions and you love doing it for her. She needs to have that reassurance that sex is not a duty to her husband or that it is a dirty thing and is only there to pop out a bun 9 months later. Slowly I think she will then get over this mental block.

And remember ... tell her the feeling like making a wee .... tell her she must not worry about it. It is just a bit of salty water if she does release a few drops. Aint gonna kill ja. Because it sounded to me this is a big worry for her and potential embarrasment that she is fearful of. :D
 
Ho3n3r said:
That is not as far-fetched as it sounds. My wife never had an orgasm with her first 2 sexual partners, but we've never had that problem. She says it just never happened, there was no reason why it didn't that she could put her finger on - no pun intended.
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Correct, it could be....but that would be a extreme thing and not going to be easily fixed. If she already has a problem with masturbation or using toys, can you imagine how she would feel about bringing a 2nd man into the bedroom .... and OP for all we know might freak out even more than she does at the though. We have seen the reactions of straight men on this very here informative forum when it comes to mmf ways. They have a meltdown.
 
Try spanking her and call her a dirty whore... if it works you'll never look back, trust me.

Do negotiate this up front however.
 
smallearth said:
Do you consider BDSM troll garbage, just curious?
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Did you not read the OP? She has a problem with toys and does not feel comfortable pleasuring herself for goodness sakes. HTF do you think she is going to react when her husband starts bringing whips and paddles into the room one night and tell her she is going to get a spanking she will never forget? Come one man. Her vagina will close up shop FOREVER and OP will have to invest in a fleshlight.
 
50CentShort said:
some very helpful stuff here chaps, thank you.

/ignores the troll garbage
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I am not cumming up for any trolls here.... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT... A little dirty talk and light spanking DOES go a long way. Use it. Don't use it.
One word of advise: Now that youve taken the leap of exposing your SO as orgamically challenged and gotten all this sage advise from the studs on MyBB avoid at ALL costs getting home this arvie and laying all the advice on her. The less of an issue you make it... The easier her transition into "that place" will be. NO PRESSURE is key.

If on the other hand she ASKED you to get advice from THIS forum... You may have a totally other issue on your hands :wtf:
All the best of luck OP. We all hope a solution cums quick.
 
I've had this situation before. The girl concerned was guilty about her very BDSM fantasies, and she found it very difficult to find pleasure in normal sex. So I speak from some experience.

So, I'm being serious. I'm not trolling. I'm merely pointing out a possibility.

But, it's a journey, and a long one. And starts with communicating, not bringing toys into the room.
 
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skeptic_SA said:
I am not cumming up for any trolls here.... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT... A little dirty talk and light spanking DOES go a long way.
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I agree. I love dirty talk. When younger not at all but the older I got the dirtier the talk got. As for the spanking....I agree also, it can be fun but she needs to be into it or want to do it. I dont think she is there in that space. My bear spanked my arse the one time and took me completely by surprise and I was like WTF!? was that for? I only reacted badly because he caught me completely off guard and no one has ever done that before. Once I realized what just happend I said he may proceed ... but a little softer next time. I dont mind a spank now and then ... but dont wanna walk out of there with red palm marks over my cheeks after the fact either. lol
 
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