Another emo thread... Advice, please...

[Lycanthrope]

Why do girls always say this? :/

'Yes, I may have cheated on you with Scott and Steven ... and Brad ... and Andre ... and Jeff ... and the other Andre ... and Michael ... and Graeme ... but I chose to be with you. Can't you see this?'

I assume that if it was that much of a pandemic he wouldn't have wanted to let her down gently or be feeling so guilty

 

[Dolby]

I assume that if it was that much of a pandemic he wouldn't have wanted to let her down gently or be feeling so guilty

Even if it was one guy, it's a really ****ty excuse on a females part

And the thing is, most say it ...

 

[Lycanthrope]

Even if it was one guy, it's a really ****ty excuse on a females part

And the thing is, most say it ...

Meh... People are human, people do stupid things but funnily enough, couples rarely just talk--they're always afraid of what the other might think or do or say; afraid that they might already think they've cheated on them so it just screws over. I've noticed that it's usually because the partner is too jealous or possessive to want to listen.

Anyway, I've never understood how people can jump into bed with another person (surely there are enough warning signs saying, "Stop! No! BAD IDEA!") but at the same time, long-term relationships do become heavy and difficult to bear, especially if you can't talk to your other half and keep the flame alive together. Relationships--you either grow together or you grow apart.

The last thing anyone needs is that the way their relationship ended was decided on a forum because after seven years her boyfriend didn't know her well enough to figure it out himself. That, to me, says a lot about this guy's part in the relationship and why I'm not quite willing just yet to lay blame on the girl for the culmination of it all.

Oh well

 

[thesadguy]

@thesadguy.Does your old gf know that things have deteriorated between the 2 of you or are you only looking at it from your own perspective.
If she knew you have an alibi.Its imperative that you make her understand how obsolete the relationship was and that you needed to move on.
But 7 years dude.Man,she's gonna be broken.

Yes she does. We discuss it regularly, and agree to improve things. They improve briefly, before returning to "normal".

7 Years is a long time.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.
For your own sake, I hope the new girl doesnt dump your a$$ a few months down the line.

I am not breaking up FOR the new girl. It's a chance occurrence that we met at this time.

I now dub OP:"W a n k e r"

But he's not breaking up because of the new girl?

I had something similar where things just started sliding with an ex of 4 years - and figured we should rather end it. I had been chatting to the 'new' girl and we got together a few week later, but she was never the reason. The break up would've happened regardless - which I understand is the case here.

FINALLY... Someone read what I posted... How did you handle the breakup duties?

you guys are so insensitive, it's not his fault people grow apart

don't feel bad dude, you can tell her that you've felt this way for awhile, and i don't know if you can be friends after this or not but you should tell her while you were deciding this you met someone else. depending on how much you trust each other she might feel that you're using it as an excuse or that it's so unbelievable that it must be true

That sounds fair...

And yet she still chose you for any number of reasons (you have memories together, you've made mistakes together, insert whatever sentimental nonsense here). I don't know. You also supposedly gave her another chance when you didn't walk out and yet now you feel the need to change your mind. I just find it petty--why even bother in the first place?

You want an easy way to get out, hopefully by not hurting her feelings--it doesn't work like that. If she loves you, it will hurt. If she chose you over someone else, it will hurt. If you're not prepared to make the relationship work TOGETHER (therapy or whatever the hell else it takes) before giving up, it will hurt.

There is only one way out and that is to say, "Sorry, I don't want to be with you any more."

Don't procrastinate and hope for a quick fix, there isn't one--you have made your decision now stop dragging it out like a coward.

Money, perhaps... Sheesh, bitter much? Just because I decided then to give things another try, I should stick by that for the rest of my life, regardless of what happens after that? You don't sound like someone with much life experience, TBH.

Quick question.... I have read your OP but just want to clarify: you are not living together?

On and off for a few years; moving around and stuff (together) decided whether we were living together at any particular point in time.

Be honest & direct, simple as that. Beating around the bush helps nobody.

This seems like the simplest thing to do, and probably the most fair to both of us. Thanks.

 

[Kornhub]

Oh, and she has cheated on me; I have never cheated on her.

Hmmm well your relationship should of ended when that happened :/ Just break it off...it wont be easy in anyway dude.