Apathy...

S

shadow_man

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This morning I went for a run with a friend at a venue that I can only describe as a country club. It requires membership and a yearly fee. Members can however bring guests.

After the run we went for breakfast at one of the restaurants at the club. Some guys were watching the cricket at a table behind us and one in particular had quite a foul mouth. An older male patron (+-70 years) went over and asked if they could please stop the swearing, as its a family establishment.

The gentleman doing the swearing (+-40 years) promptly told the old guy to fsck himself. At which point the old guy advised that as it's members only and as such he could have him removed from the premises. The 40 something guy then hit the 70 year old man from behind. The old man stumbled and his hat fell off.

At this point I couldn't stand and watch as NOBODY had intervened or stood up for the old man. I promptly stood up and put the 40 year old in a choke hold to stop him beating the old man.

The part I find strange is that nobody other than my friend or I batted an eye lid, not staff and nor other patrons.

My question is why are people so apathetic? Why do they always wait for someone else to react first? Why is everyone afraid to stand up and do the right thing? I don't give it a second thought in those situations. I could be beaten up but I'd still do what is right.

So my question is why don't others? Thoughts?
 
Not everybody is as awesome as you, Rambo. We are but mere mortals scared of being placed in a choke hold and possible stab wounds.
 
Hamster said:
Not everybody is as awesome as you, Rambo. We are but mere mortals scared of being placed in a choke hold and possible stab wounds.
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So you're happy to stand idly by an put your head in the sand. You'd then pretend you didn't see anything? You'd seriously let an old man get beat up by some drunk moron and do nothing? Wow, you're one hell of a human being.
 
jsheed_sa said:
So you're happy to stand idly by an put your head in the sand. You'd then pretend you didn't see anything? You'd seriously let an old man get beat up by some drunk moron and do nothing? Wow, you're one hell of a human being.
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Quite a claim to make considering you've never met me and don't know if I have any physical disabilities.

I don't though. A serious answer: it depends on the situation. Those of us non-Rambo types will jump in if it is one or two guys we are sure won't beat us into a coma or possibly kill you. If I was not up to the task I'd call security.
But will I potentially lay down my life or risk a severe injury over an old man been pushed, no. Take a guy like you - if you were under the influence, quick to be offended and immediately respond to anything contrary to your view with aggression (no direct reference to your above response of course, purely coincidence) and physically able to put another guy in a choke hold, how does it make sense for me to try in confront you physically.
More than likely I'd rather help the old man out of there.
 
If I'm not absolutely sure I have the full story, I won't intervene. If I was in a bar, and something like this happened, I would probably have missed the first words, and just seen two guys going at it - no idea who said what, or what they're fighting about. And these are not good circumstances in which to enter a fight.
 
jsheed_sa said:
So you're happy to stand idly by an put your head in the sand. You'd then pretend you didn't see anything? You'd seriously let an old man get beat up by some drunk moron and do nothing? Wow, you're one hell of a human being.
Click to expand...

Hamster is a metrosexual he wouldn't want to break his nails.
 
Well done.

What a bloody idiot (the 40 year old and I am only referring to the physical attack).
 
people generally don't want to get involved in other people's problems, but when they are in the hot seat they expect help from others.
 
Replay said:
people generally don't want to get involved in other people's problems, but when they are in the hot seat they expect help from others.
Click to expand...

The "bystander effect" also comes into play here. If the three of us were alone in a setting as described above stepping in would be way more likely. You add more people and the chance of become a mere spectator increases.
It's a basic human trait/flaw.
 
So I was watching cricket this morning down at the club with my mates, when this old Geezer came over moaning and feckin groaning about my language, then he wanted to have me thrown out of the place and mumbled some obscenity at me and turned away..

Feck! him, just because he is old does'nt give him an excuse to lecture me, so I somer gave me a light klap from behind.....

The next moment, some other okie, who had nothing to do with the entire incident jumps up and grips me in a head lock.....

I could have done one or two things..... lucky for him , I was in a good mood this morning and seeing that I was out on bail whilst waiting for my court case, I decided to refrain from retaliating and more than likely saved myself from getting life in prison...

The nerve of some okies!

tsk!Tsk!

:whistle:
 
Hamster said:
The "bystander effect" also comes into play here. If the three of us were alone in a setting as described above stepping in would be way more likely. You add more people and the chance of become a mere spectator increases.
It's a basic human trait/flaw.
Click to expand...
Exactly, stepping in or not depends on the result of weighing up the risk for a negative outcome
 
Mortymoose said:
So I was watching cricket this morning down at the club with my mates, when this old Geezer came over moaning and feckin groaning about my language, then he wanted to have me thrown out of the place and mumbled some obscenity at me and turned away..



Feck! him, just because he is old does'nt give him an excuse to lecture me, so I somer gave me a light klap from behind.....



The next moment, some other okie, who had nothing to do with the entire incident jumps up and grips me in a head lock.....



I could have done one or two things..... lucky for him , I was in a good mood this morning and seeing that I was out on bail whilst waiting for my court case, I decided to refrain from retaliating and more than likely saved myself from getting life in prison...



The nerve of some okies!



tsk!Tsk!



:whistle:
Click to expand...

You should go open a case of assault. Just because you are a parolee doesn't mean you don't have rights!
 
jsheed_sa said:
This morning I went for a run with a friend at a venue that I can only describe as a country club. It requires membership and a yearly fee. Members can however bring guests.

After the run we went for breakfast at one of the restaurants at the club. Some guys were watching the cricket at a table behind us and one in particular had quite a foul mouth. An older male patron (+-70 years) went over and asked if they could please stop the swearing, as its a family establishment.

The gentleman doing the swearing (+-40 years) promptly told the old guy to fsck himself. At which point the old guy advised that as it's members only and as such he could have him removed from the premises. The 40 something guy then hit the 70 year old man from behind. The old man stumbled and his hat fell off.

At this point I couldn't stand and watch as NOBODY had intervened or stood up for the old man. I promptly stood up and put the 40 year old in a choke hold to stop him beating the old man.

The part I find strange is that nobody other than my friend or I batted an eye lid, not staff and nor other patrons.

My question is why are people so apathetic? Why do they always wait for someone else to react first? Why is everyone afraid to stand up and do the right thing? I don't give it a second thought in those situations. I could be beaten up but I'd still do what is right.

So my question is why don't others? Thoughts?
Click to expand...

Agree, people don't want to get involved. I tend to be a bit like you, I act and think later. I've been in a situation where I took a hobo down who was trying to rape another homeless woman in a parking lot outside our office. Point 1 was that he was attacking the woman, point 2 was that he was behaving like a thug outside my office. We called the cops and waited hours for them to arrive. The center security eventually stepped in and took him and tried to explain to me that the woman owed him money and he was taking payment 'in kind' to which she was objecting. I told them I don't care what his reasons are, but this is the 21st century and there's no excuse for that kind of behaviour. What got me was the absolute apathy among others - they just don't want to get involved. That's why people do stuff like this in public - they think they can do as they please.
 
Been there done that got the stitches in the lip , other guy and his mates also got a few stitches .
Was it worth it ?
Not really the lip was swollen for a few days and the guy that started it went to hospital .
You were lucky .
 
I also don't suffer from apathy. Got attacked by 15 guys and 2 groupies for intervening in a bouncer bully session. Shame the damage was very moderate. Bunch of dutchman ****ers in the West Rand. I have no regrets. I'm sure the "man" with the nose that popped like a grape has some...

I would have had regrets had I stood by and let these dutchman give the rest of us Afrikaans people a bad name.

The point really is whether you know how to defend yourself in a tough situation. I grew up at a time and place where I quickly had to hone my fighting ability.

I sure as hell won't intervene if a gun is on my forehead and I'm not armed.
 
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D3athD00r said:
I also don't suffer from apathy. Got attacked by 15 guys and 2 groupies for intervening in a bouncer bully session. Shame the damage was very moderate. Bunch of dutchman ****ers in the West Rand. I have no regrets. I'm sure the "man" with the nose that popped like a grape has some...

I would have had regrets had I stood by and let these dutchman give the rest of us Afrikaans people a bad name.
Click to expand...

Since when do "us Afrikaans people" call ourselves dutchmen? That's an 'insult' used by souties.
 
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