Asking someone to marry you

Nick333 said:
A couple of hundred for a plaing gold band.

ettubrute is right. If the first thing she considers is the value of the ring then you've just learnt something very important about her.
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She doesn't like gold ;)
 
oh silver is cheap then ;)
She is a platinum fan and you not thinking she is a gold digger?
My wife doesnt like yellow gold so she would have settled for white gold, but I got her platinum anyways.
 
killadoob said:
no i mean the ring you put on her finger will be cheap and you tell her she can design her own one

im not saying buy her a cheap ring, its just something to put on her finger until she gets one designed

if you need a flashy ring to get to say yes then your not dating a decent girl man

if she is worried about money and that sort of thing then i hope she is blonde big tits and screws like a porn star

still would not marry her though
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See, thats just the thing. We're not dating anymore. Went out for 7 months, was great but broke up for several reasons I'm not going to discuss here, stayed friends (we click really well) and then before I came to Dubai (she's coming in July) we kind of got back together again.

But I know we aren't back together and I know she's confused about everything still. So yea, like I said. No guts not glory. I'm going to ask her and that is the reason why I said I'm not sure if she'll say yes (even though while we were dating she kept showing me ring designs of what she likes etc)

So I'd like to have something flashy there to show her I'm serious. Get the "live in the moment" answer from her instead of the thought-out-calculated "I'm not sure".

But yea, I'm not going to argue over rings and my reasons for doing this and how impossible it would be that she'll say yes and how superficial it would be blablablabla

I appreciate your input and concerns, all I need to know is how SURE you guys were when you asked your women and how you asked them and if it was also a "omg i dont know if she's going to say yes" thing
 
Rocket-Boy said:
oh silver is cheap then ;)
She is a platinum fan and you not thinking she is a gold digger?
My wife doesnt like yellow gold so she would have settled for white gold, but I got her platinum anyways.
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No not a platinum fan per se, she just doesn't like gold. (Think it has something to do with the yellow color)
 
No, I've actually been thinking about it for quite a while though. Did (in my drunken state) chat to her and she's like "is this how you're going to ask me?!" and I'm like "no of course not, I've got something worked out, and I'm not asking you now"

So later in the morning chatted to her again and she said that I asked to marry her and I'm like "yea, I remember that, but I'm going to do it right" whereto she then asked "Oh so you are going to ask me?" at which I said "I'd rather not answer that now"

Had a question to her side though where I asked what would she do if I did ask her and she replied with the "I'd rahter not answer that now" line I just fed her previously.

We broke up and got together 2/3 times now, and I know she loves me, and I know she is confused a lot, hard for her to make up her mind. But I don't think fear of rejection should stop me from asking.
 
I got a white gold ring made and proposed with that. I told my wife (She said yes!) that she could choose her own engagement ring and either use the white gold ring as her wedding band or melt it down and use as part of engagement ring. She chose to keep the white gold band and have a engagement ring made.

Also - 50% is not sure enough. For marriage my view is be 100% sure you want it. 1% doubt is 100% reason not to do it. I been married twice and made very for the second time that I was 100% sure. If it is 50% sure she'll say yet then that would be too risky for me and if fear of rejection isn't enough to stop you then made you don't care enough about it. (Just a thought/opinion/interpretation).

[Great thread by the way!]
 
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Waaib said:
I got a white gold ring made and proposed with that. I told my wife (She said yes!) that she could choose her own engagement ring and either use the white gold ring as her wedding band or melt it down and use as part of engagement ring. She chose to keep the white gold band and have a engagement ring made.

Also - 50% is not sure enough. For marriage my view is be 100% sure you want it. 1% doubt is 100% reason not to do it. I been married twice and made very for the second time that I was 100% sure. If it is 50% sure she'll say yet then that would be too risky for me and if fear of rejection isn't enough to stop you then made you don't care enough about it. (Just a thought/opinion/interpretation).

[Great thread by the way!]
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Thanks for the input, you misunderstood. I'm not 100% sure if she will say yes or not. But it won't bother me to ask ANYWAY even if it's a no. ;)

I'm definately 100% sure I'd want to marry this girl.
 
Just a thought but you are going to base the decision of a lifetime on 7 months? Seriously that smells of divorce. No offense.

J
 
jsheed_sa said:
Just a thought but you are going to base the decision of a lifetime on 7 months? Seriously that smells of divorce. No offense.

J
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I've seen people get married in less than 6 weeks and they've been together now for 9 years... so I don't base my decisions on time or age difference etc. I base it on how I feel and want to feel for the rest of my life knowing I have her.
 
AcidRaZor said:
I've seen people get married in less than 6 weeks and they've been together now for 9 years... so I don't base my decisions on time or age difference etc. I base it on how I feel and want to feel for the rest of my life knowing I have her.
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Be careful though as someone said personalities change - Im 22 and im still evolving in how I act etc she will be too - I reckon hold off on the actual getting married bit for quite a while, maybe get engaged, move in together - see what works - if it does great go ahead - atleast you wont be stuck with regrets. Living with someone and going out with them when you live apart are two different kettles of fish.

J
 
AcidRaZor said:
Hey guys/gals

So I'm going to go guns blazing, no guts no glory style and ask this girl to marry me.

I know the ring is important, and I have an idea about the size it should be, but in case I'm wrong would it be able to adjust easily?

That being beside the point.

I'd like to hear what you guys did to get the YES. I'm about 50% on this that she would actually say yes or not

Was thinking I should take her out on the date we had the very first time that made her fall for me (not going to tell the whole story now but anyway)

What to do to sweep her off her feet and get her to live in the moment and not think about the crap divorce her folks had and that she might be too young (21) to get married and and and and etc...

No I'm not willing to make her drunk for this

Stories / advice please :D
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my advice... dont do it - they are all liars.
 
jsheed_sa said:
Be careful though as someone said personalities change - Im 22 and im still evolving in how I act etc she will be too - I reckon hold off on the actual getting married bit for quite a while, maybe get engaged, move in together - see what works - if it does great go ahead - atleast you wont be stuck with regrets. Living with someone and going out with them when you live apart are two different kettles of fish.

J
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See thats one of the things I'd have to make her understand. I'm not looking to get hitched immediately. I'd like to be engaged for a year before even setting a date.

We've lived together before but in small portions, like 2-3 weeks at a time.

I agree with that personalities change, but I disagree that it would change drastically unless she has some kind of mental problem. Your personality is usually carved out when you're a child, that's why you get adults who kill other people for pleasure or adults who don't and live their lives to what they have grown to see their parents do.

She does come froma divorced family and this is one of the reasons why I say I'm not 100% sure if she'll say yes, and that is what I'm trying to achieve. I know she feels for me deeply and we have talked about marriage before (she was the one to bring it up)

I think she scared herself a bit because she started to think "what if this, what if that" and I know she is trying her best not to be like her mom and end up divorced with 3 kids and stuck somewhere where she'll be unhappy.

I'm willing to take it slow, I also told her that she should remember that she was the one who said we might start dating again when she's in Dubai and she was the one who mentioned getting married in the begginning when we were month3+.

So I'm fully aware that her mind (like my own) overactive and starts thinking about all these different scenarios of what MIGHT happen and how things CAN go wrong that in the end you ignore what your heart is telling you (or even know what it's telling you) and cause a crapload of confusion.

Like a boxer I need to dodge and duck, two-step, jab-jab left uppercut jab three step dodge and WHAM. Hit her with a romantic, in the moment proposal with a to die for ring and go on one knee and ask her to be my wife.

Now in all probability she'd not be able to answer me, but I know if I do it right, let her forget about what is holding her back from everything and just do it, she'd say yes.

And that is why I asked for advice or stories of how you guys proposed and got the yes answer...
 
Like a boxer I need to dodge and duck, two-step, jab-jab left uppercut jab three step dodge and WHAM. Hit her with a romantic - can i make that my sig :P I like it.

Sounds good as long as you arent planning to rush it immediatly stay with her for a year move in together, check it out thoroughly and as you said people make the same mistakes as their parents make sure she isnt going to fall along the divorce unhappiness route.

J

AcidRaZor said:
See thats one of the things I'd have to make her understand. I'm not looking to get hitched immediately. I'd like to be engaged for a year before even setting a date.

We've lived together before but in small portions, like 2-3 weeks at a time.

I agree with that personalities change, but I disagree that it would change drastically unless she has some kind of mental problem. Your personality is usually carved out when you're a child, that's why you get adults who kill other people for pleasure or adults who don't and live their lives to what they have grown to see their parents do.

She does come froma divorced family and this is one of the reasons why I say I'm not 100% sure if she'll say yes, and that is what I'm trying to achieve. I know she feels for me deeply and we have talked about marriage before (she was the one to bring it up)

I think she scared herself a bit because she started to think "what if this, what if that" and I know she is trying her best not to be like her mom and end up divorced with 3 kids and stuck somewhere where she'll be unhappy.

I'm willing to take it slow, I also told her that she should remember that she was the one who said we might start dating again when she's in Dubai and she was the one who mentioned getting married in the begginning when we were month3+.

So I'm fully aware that her mind (like my own) overactive and starts thinking about all these different scenarios of what MIGHT happen and how things CAN go wrong that in the end you ignore what your heart is telling you (or even know what it's telling you) and cause a crapload of confusion.

Like a boxer I need to dodge and duck, two-step, jab-jab left uppercut jab three step dodge and WHAM. Hit her with a romantic, in the moment proposal with a to die for ring and go on one knee and ask her to be my wife.

Now in all probability she'd not be able to answer me, but I know if I do it right, let her forget about what is holding her back from everything and just do it, she'd say yes.

And that is why I asked for advice or stories of how you guys proposed and got the yes answer...
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AcidRaZor said:
she's like "is this how you're going to ask me?!"
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Killa's liquid courage idea just tanked.:D

Maybe talk to a jeweler. Ask him if you can get a plain band to propose with and whether she could then design something that can be attached to the band. That way the $$$ on the band is not wasted and you can spend a bit more.

As for the actual size/circumference of the band, I think its easier to fix if its too big. Added benefit of not risking it not fitting at all.;)

Good luck. It'll go as planned.
 
I had a pretty good idea of what kind of ring my missus would like when I designed her engagement ring.

As long as it has a decent quality stone in it she can always alter (fix) it at a later stage.
 
Before I left for Dubai we were in Canal Walk and passed a jewelry store. I can't remember if she paused or I paused to look at the rings, but before she could say anything I pointed to one and said "I like that one the best" and she was also looking at that one.

It was a tanzanite princess cut with white gold or platinum band (can't remember)

I'd really like to get her that ring rather than go for a plain band...

You know? I have to club my lady over the head and drag her back to my cave. Plus they like shiny things ;)
 
When are you planning on doing all of this (unless she's in Dubai too)?
 
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