Asking someone to marry you

bwana said:
When are you planning on doing all of this (unless she's in Dubai too)?
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She's coming up in July I think, maybe a bit later. I'm going down in June. My birthday is on the 8th, her's is on the 10th and my dad/gran on the 14th + Fathersday.

Our first real date was on the 9th of June and I know for a fact that the date made her knees weak, so I'm thinking of replicating that night basically. Just not sure if I'd ask her in the restaurant or wait till I'm home. That "what if this blows up in my face" things I have to consider.

If this is your real feeling, drop the whole idea as fast as possible...
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No it's not my real feeling, I'm just trying to say that men need to be men sometimes and just DO things. Women expect that most of the times we're the ones that will lead them. And being decisive is one of the key elements of that.

I have about a month to plan this. Not sure if I'll go through with it, you know, could chicken out, but I'm dead sure I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl.

I have about 3 days before the 9th I can show her that I am the fun guy before I left again :P she did say she was falling for me again. Now the *** thing is with the distance and only talking on mxit or the phone that doubt settled in her mind again.

So not sure, but definately want to ask! :)
 
Your probably not going to take my advice but i dont think you should do it man.
 
AcidRaZor said:
She's coming up in July I think, maybe a bit later. I'm going down in June. My birthday is on the 8th, her's is on the 10th and my dad/gran on the 14th + Fathersday.
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How long is your contract for in Dubai? Will she be joining you there or would you consider terminating your contract?

Please forgive my bluntness when I ask the following but . . . are you sure you're not doing this because you're in a strange country and homesick/lonely?
 
its a permanent position. Her mom is here so shes coming to stay. Her sister and husband also moving here. Im sure its not cause of being home sick. Lol
 
cashmoney said:
Your probably not going to take my advice but i dont think you should do it man.
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your advice will be considered. Unfortunately you didnt justify your advice with a reason so its difficult for me to accept it
 
Okay my reason is that you shouldnt have to try so hard to get her to say yes.
Can you imagine how hard you will have to work to keep her happy and commited to the marriage.
I totally understand where your coming from as i felt the same about my x gf and was ready to prupose after dating for only 10 months but things didnt work out for us.
Why dont you first ask her to get back together with you(as in bf and gf) and date for a few weeks before popping the question?
 
i understand your point. Maybe i should test the waters by doing the romantic thing and then going 'i want to ask you something' and see how she reacts cause she kn6w im going to ask
 
The advantage of dating is that you can run the idea of marriage past her.Im sure evryone wh has pruposed ran the idea of getting married past their girlfriends at some point in their relationship before popping the question. I dont meen asking her if she would say yes or no but more in terms of how she feels about marriage etc.
But im just 22 so you probably have more experience about this stuff so its up to you.
 
The girlfriend says the following: Rather buy a decent ring (by now you should know sort of what she wants), then tell her, if she doesn't like it, she can exchange it for another (at the same store, so make sure the selection there is good).

Also, if you're going for Tanzanite, I wouldn't recommend buying it from a store as the prices on these stones are quite inflated, rather have it made.

For the other thing, go for it ask her. If you love her you got no reason not to.
 
Buy an ordinary ring (remember u still gonna buy the actual wedding band), her out, have some quality time (intimacy), come back, "get some KFC" (I mean make passionate love to her), after a good one (while holding hands and stuff, slip it in her finger) then pop the question.

If it doesn't go down well, have a savannah, its dry but you can drink it, if that doesn't help then have some tea, cause "Tea can do that"!
 
Road runner said:
Wait till you're 40! You will be richer, more mature, and not make mistakes.
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40? Then you wont see your kids grow, see them go to school, let alone varsity? No thanks. I think one shouldn't wait till they are over 35! I'm gonna tie the not before I turn 30!
 
Maelly said:
40? Then you wont see your kids grow, see them go to school, let alone varsity? No thanks. I think one shouldn't wait till they are over 35! I'm gonna tie the not before I turn 30!
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How do you know they'll be dead before they're sixty. :confused:
 
AcidRaZor said:
i understand your point. Maybe i should test the waters by doing the romantic thing and then going 'i want to ask you something' and see how she reacts cause she kn6w im going to ask
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Doesn't sound like the way to go if you want to knock her off her feet.
 
why not just leave it for awhile

all getting engaged does is drop your sex life

once a chick knows she has hooked you, its over

why not ask her how she feels about marriage

get her drunk and ask her, drunks dont lie so you'll know and if she is drunk enough wont remember in the morning
 
AcidRaZor said:
I appreciate your input and concerns, all I need to know is how SURE you guys were when you asked your women and how you asked them and if it was also a "omg i dont know if she's going to say yes" thing
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Read through your post and I'll offer my experience and advice (for what it is worth). I was friends with my wife for a year before we started dating. We used to give each other advice on other girlfriends/boyfriends when friends and than after going home for Christmas I decided I needed to move things up with this girl. So we started "dating" in about February or March (when I could get rid of the other guys around her). We dated for about 4 months and I knew she was the one for me. We took the weekend and went out to Portland, Oregon to visit some friends. It was me, her and my best bud Steele. We were touring the city with other friends and everyone knew I had a ring except her. They all gave suggestions on where to propose (I remember taking a piss with one of them in a public bathroom and he mentioned a rose garden overlooking the city). That seemed like a good spot so we all headed up the hill to the garden.

Man, I was nervous. We had sort of talked about marriage but nothing too serious. She was 20 and I was 23! She was foreign and I was 2,000 miles from home. Neither of us had meet or talked to either set of parents. So anyway, we're walking around and all our friends are smirking at us as they spyed on us from a distance. She was commenting on the roses and blah blah blah. I wasn't listening, my heart was pounding too hard! :eek:

We got to a secluded spot amongst the roses and I just turned around, got down on one knee and pulled out the ring. She was surprised to say the least. I asked her the question, and see started huggin and kissing me. I was happy about the reaction but wanted the verbal confirmation. So I said to her, "Is this a yes or what?" and she responded with a big smiley YES. :D

We walked back over to where our friends were and they were all laughing since they all knew. It was pretty fun. :D

So, to answer your questions... I picked out the ring with my best bud without her knowing about it. I picked a good one too! She still loves it, and I just had a matching platinum band made for the wedding. The ring was a little big when I gave it to her, which was fine because they could chop off some and she could still where it right away.

I was not sure at all that she would say yes. I took a risk and it has paid off. We were both young, we got married within 5 months of the engagement. We have changed after 7.5 years in some ways, but we have grown together as well, and that is the benefit of getting married younger rather than older. You grow up together, and have some great memories to share as you go. :)

I would recommend you go for it. Plan it out like you think she would like (and you would like). Get a nice ring and go for it. Your 28, you love her and know she's the one. If you don't, you'll always wonder. If she needs time to think about it, be supportive. Give her some space but be there for her. She'll come around if she thinks your the one for her. my sister just got married last week after putting her guy on standby for a few months after asking her. So it can work out.

Have the balls and go after what you think is right. ;)

killadoob said:
all getting engaged does is drop your sex life

once a chick knows she has hooked you, its over
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About this... Not true. I enjoyed many blissful times of rampant s$x after the wedding bells rang. It's the kids that cause the slow down. :( but they are worth the trade off. ;)
 
Thanks for everyone supporting this and giving me their opinions (even if it's not in support)

I'm going to have to assess the situation between us again when I get there. In the end you can pick up her receptiveness to such a question seeing as we're not dating and she's not sure yet if we're going to give it another try, better 1 on 1. Talking over the phone or text is a bit of a daunting task.

I'm kind of feeling negative about this now. 2nd of May, around 34 days before I'd know for certain and 34 long days to think things over.
 
The more you think about it the more youl start to doubt yourself. Make your mind up now and stick to your choice. Use the 34 days to plan the best possible most romanticest way of doing it!
I guess its better to know she said No than to wonder if she would have said yes.If you catch my drift.
Goodluck man , go get your woman!:)
 
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