B*tches be crazy!

zolly said:
Someone with far more experience in these matters once told me:

"If you *&#@ a girl enough times, she will fall in love with you, even if she doesn't like you that much at the start."

I've heard enough evidence, the same goes for Monkeybranch theory, to realise that it's true.
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Please do tell. What's this Monkeybranch theory?
 
Monkey/branch theory - A monkey climbing a tree will never let go of a branch it is holding, until it is holding onto a new one. A girl won't dump her current bf (even if the relationship is completely dead), until she has a new one. I used to get so confused when girls with boyfriends would hit on me (at the time I just thought they were being nice), until I learnt about this.

Now I cry myself to sleep at night knowing how many opportunities I missed...

(Not really, but it is a bit annoying).
 
So what part of the new BF does a girl hang on to? Oh right....

:)
 
Merlin said:
Not even close, alf. ;)

This started out as a FWB agreement, but it got WAY out of hand.

The very short version is that she's in love with me and despite attempts on her side, can't handle my attempts to meet other people.

There never were feelings on my side and I've had no issues keeping my end of the agreement intact.

...and now that I've found a girl I really am interested in, the skies have gone dark.

The problem is that we became very good friendships over the duration of our agreement and now there are some issues to be addressed before I can tell her to get lost.

I know what my first New Year's resolution is, and I intend to keep it.
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[Shakes head in wonder at male naivete] - "Friends with Benefits" - what a crock - like "F**k Buddy" - you burned yourself - no sympathy here...
 
Welcome buddy!

You have fun now ya hear! ;)

Merlin said:
I am currently in a learning phase...

That is to say, that I am learning that although the women I shared my Friendship - and occassionally my body - with, whom I thought was a rational, sane, mature and trustworthy individual, is actually turning out to be, quite surprisingly, a complete and utter psychotic F'ing B*tch!

It's like I've fallen off of the wrong side of the bed, through a portal, and arrived at the fiery gates.

Never, EVER harbour the belief that women are logical and mentally-stable creatures.

In the event that you uncouple, unfriend and/or drift apart, ensure that your testicles are secure, that she has nothing personal of yours and hope like hell you didn't pass some potentially dangerous info' her way in a mellow moment.

Crazy-azz Biaaatch.
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the only woman you trust and even then sometimes its touch n go ... is your mom!!!
she will love you regardless ... any other women has a hidden agenda!!!
 
I'm not sure I'd want a "Monkeybranch" girl...
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Hope you like batting for the other team then coz even the really nice ones are "monkeybranch" girls. Seriously though, it's like there's some chronic disease that a girl gets if she's single for too long.
 
zolly said:
Monkey/branch theory - A monkey climbing a tree will never let go of a branch it is holding, until it is holding onto a new one. A girl won't dump her current bf (even if the relationship is completely dead), until she has a new one. I used to get so confused when girls with boyfriends would hit on me (at the time I just thought they were being nice), until I learnt about this.
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Only fat, ugly girls can be single.
 
Zyzzyva said:
Sticks hand in fire, gets burnt, blames fire.

...creates a thread.
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The one area each and every living soul/mind is extremely good at, it is shifting the blame. Even people who are prepared to face the music and take responsibility have to keep their minds in check, because it automatically starts thinking up excuses.

Fortunately the best way to keep your mind in check, is to start thinking of ways to prevent such a thing happening again.
 
I make a point of my FWB being all benefits, no friendship. As soon as they start acting like they want something more, it's time to leave...
 
There are some awesome, awesome girls out there - and they aren't all tagged with the "Monkeybranch" sticker. ;)

Perhaps you're looking in the wrong places? :D
 
There are some awesome, awesome girls out there - and they aren't all tagged with the "Monkeybranch" sticker.

Perhaps you're looking in the wrong places?
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I'm not really into alien chicks...

Monkeybranch isn't bad dude, it's just in a girl's nature. A lot of them need the security of a relationship, even if it's a bad one. And yes, while there may be girls out there who are secure enough in themselves to go single for long periods of time, it's been my experience that they are the exception, not the rule.
 
Ok, I'll play the devil here :D

FWB is just a male version of Monkeybranch, because the same concept of ego boosting through sex applies.

Hence, he noticed the signs but turned a blind eye because he hadn't established a new 'branch' yet.
Now it's all gone pear shaped and he's expounding her insanity to justify his guilt/mitigate his role in the situation, in order to a) salve his conscience and b) use this excuse around the new girl, when explaining why some mad bat is banging on his door :)

All that aside, yeah, 99 problems...

;)
 
FWB is just a male version of Monkeybranch, because the same concept of ego boosting through sex applies.
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The way I see it FWB is about sex. I.E. A guy approaches a girl who he knows (the relationship between himself and the girl can vary from acquaintances to good friends) who is currently single so he can get his rocks off once in a while.

Monkeybranch specifically refers to a girl who is in a relationship, but not wanting to be single, sticks with the relationship until a better suitor comes along. As soon as she does, she starts dropping hints to the new suitor that she's interested, despite the fact that she's currently in a relationship. I'm not sure how much the sex angle is involved coz as much as I've gotten girls to admit to doing the whole monkeybranch thing, I've never asked for that much detail.

All that aside, yeah, 99 problems...
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Currently in that boat too.
 
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But it all boils down to security for the ego doesn't it? MB the girl has relative emotional security, satisfying the ego, FWB the guy gets his sex drive sated and this is a boost to the ego.

Its all about keeping Ego happy!
 
each and EVERY woman is psychotic*, do not ever find yourself starting to believe the opposite.

so take lessons from your dad: just don't care. When she starts flapping her gums about feelings or "how this fwb/nsa thing is so cool", just reply yeah whatever. Be an ass to save your own sanity.

Also, always remember that for any hot sexy cool [insert awesome attribute] babe it is assured that there is at least one guy out there who literally cannot put up with her ***** anymore. And you'll be fine then.

* side note: I occasionally even use this in my game. sometime along the initial convo I ask something like "so whats your psychosis? I mean you hot, cute smile blah blah there has to be something wrong with you". If the girl gets defensive, I leave because then it hits a bit too close to home for her. If she laughs it off, chances are she will be trying to impress/qualify herself to you afterwards implying her interest in you making her an easy target. Just know what you're getting yourself into
 
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