Being a Gentleman...

DJStealth,

I'm Afrikaans, a "boer seun" so to speak. I don't care much for the "sexist" ideals of some gentleman in that regard, but being courteous, polite and generally well mannered is my idea of a gentleman, the way I see it. If being a true gentleman means you're an ass in disguise by being a sexist male, then I won't want to be known as one.

To me it comes down to this, do you value yourself? Then you should value those around you, not be noticed or to be praised, but because you give the right attitude towards people, it automatically allows them to respect and honour you.

I'm very deep today :p
 
teraside said:
DJStealth,

I'm Afrikaans, a "boer seun" so to speak. I don't care much for the "sexist" ideals of some gentleman in that regard, but being courteous, polite and generally well mannered is my idea of a gentleman, the way I see it. If being a true gentleman means you're an ass in disguise by being a sexist male, then I won't want to be known as one.

To me it comes down to this, do you value yourself? Then you should value those around you, not be noticed or to be praised, but because you give the right attitude towards people, it automatically allows them to respect and honour you.

I'm very deep today :p
Click to expand...

:eek: Is the idea of being a polite gentleman being perverted? :eek:

Being polite and courteous never hurt somebody else :)
 
teraside said:
DJStealth,

I'm Afrikaans, a "boer seun" so to speak. I don't care much for the "sexist" ideals of some gentleman in that regard, but being courteous, polite and generally well mannered is my idea of a gentleman, the way I see it. If being a true gentleman means you're an ass in disguise by being a sexist male, then I won't want to be known as one.

To me it comes down to this, do you value yourself? Then you should value those around you, not be noticed or to be praised, but because you give the right attitude towards people, it automatically allows them to respect and honour you.

I'm very deep today :p
Click to expand...

I agree 100% with you, hence why I said I dont really care about the gentlemanly aspect, it rather has to do with being courteous regardless of sex. If I had a choice to open a car door for a female (just because she is female) and a guy struggling (for whatever reason unless he is just being an idiot), I would provide my help to the guy and not the woman. The basis of being a gentleman is sexist, I prefer courtesy that doesnt discriminate :p
 
DJStealth said:
You must be quite flexible to fit around her entire pinkie finger:p

I am not really a gentleman but it certainly does work for me.

I do open car doors every now and then (but only because I dont want their long nails scratching my paint job or if they are carrying my house keys)

I often buy women drinks but make it clear as to why I am paying for their drinks. I tell them I trying to get them drunk so I can look prettier to them. This works really well and often results in a response along the lines of "I dont need to be drunk" and it plays out thereafter quite easily (It worked last night). I have convinced myself that the "I might need something stronger" response is just a woman with a sense of humour.

I make a point of always saying please and thank you. Although I hardly have to beg and they find "thank you" the morning after somewhat offensive as well.

I do not allow old people in front of me in queues for 2 reasons. Firstly, they smell a lot worse from behind. Secondly, I dont want land up stuck behind them in traffic.

I will not enter an old fashioned type of relationship. In this day and age I find being a gentleman for the sake of tradition somewhat of a ridiculous idea. It was borne out of sexism and if it continues because of tradition, then it will remain a sexist gesture, not matter what the intentions. If someone is struggling and there is something I can do to help, then I do the RIGHT thing, not gentlemanly thing. Such as holding a door to allow (regardless of sex) someone through who cannot open it for themselves or if it doesnt put me out in any way (such as being late). I will help the elderly or those with kids to carry their shopping or pack it in their car if need be. Everyone else is very capable of performing these functions without help. I will help if someone requests it and it is not an absurd request. Etc, etc...

I dont get the whole gentleman thing at all. In a day and age where we should all be equal, then holding on to sexist ideals is a step in the wrong direction. I believe you just use right and wrong and a little bit of empathy instead.
Click to expand...

that is what i meant:p
 
Nick333 said:
Some guys seem to confuse being a gentleman with being a pu$$y. The correct ( gentlemanly) response when a girl/woman/lady asks you to buy her a drink is:

"I would love to buy you a drink. Why don't I get the second round. Mines a scotch on the rocks."
Click to expand...

I must remember that one. :D

Maelly said:
Do any of you gentle souls open your female friends a car door? I used not to, until wifey mentuioned that ... "Hhhm, that guy is such a gentleman, look he opens a car door for his other half". Thats when it dawn to me that I should start doing it. Now I do it all the time, if I happen to forget then wifey should remind me by standing outside. I'm now getting used to it.



Otherwise I do all the gentleman-like stuff there is to do...
Click to expand...

What's the point of that, why can't she open her own door? I know it sounds harsh but isn't its basis sexist?


DJStealth said:
You must be quite flexible to fit around her entire pinkie finger:p

I am not really a gentleman but it certainly does work for me.

I do open car doors every now and then (but only because I dont want their long nails scratching my paint job or if they are carrying my house keys)

I often buy women drinks but make it clear as to why I am paying for their drinks. I tell them I trying to get them drunk so I can look prettier to them. This works really well and often results in a response along the lines of "I dont need to be drunk" and it plays out thereafter quite easily (It worked last night). I have convinced myself that the "I might need something stronger" response is just a woman with a sense of humour.

I make a point of always saying please and thank you. Although I hardly have to beg and they find "thank you" the morning after somewhat offensive as well.

I do not allow old people in front of me in queues for 2 reasons. Firstly, they smell a lot worse from behind. Secondly, I dont want land up stuck behind them in traffic.

I will not enter an old fashioned type of relationship. In this day and age I find being a gentleman for the sake of tradition somewhat of a ridiculous idea. It was borne out of sexism and if it continues because of tradition, then it will remain a sexist gesture, not matter what the intentions. If someone is struggling and there is something I can do to help, then I do the RIGHT thing, not gentlemanly thing. Such as holding a door to allow (regardless of sex) someone through who cannot open it for themselves or if it doesnt put me out in any way (such as being late). I will help the elderly or those with kids to carry their shopping or pack it in their car if need be. Everyone else is very capable of performing these functions without help. I will help if someone requests it and it is not an absurd request. Etc, etc...

I dont get the whole gentleman thing at all. In a day and age where we should all be equal, then holding on to sexist ideals is a step in the wrong direction. I believe you just use right and wrong and a little bit of empathy instead.
Click to expand...

I've got no problem with a normal relationship but otherwise I agree 100%, I'm always polite and well mannered but I don't believe in discriminating on the basis of sex.


DJStealth said:
I agree 100% with you, hence why I said I dont really care about the gentlemanly aspect, it rather has to do with being courteous regardless of sex. If I had a choice to open a car door for a female (just because she is female) and a guy struggling (for whatever reason unless he is just being an idiot), I would provide my help to the guy and not the woman. The basis of being a gentleman is sexist, I prefer courtesy that doesnt discriminate :p
Click to expand...

Exactly.
 
It's always better to let an old lady, pushing a trolley in a supermarket pass you. Why?
If you don't, you will leave the shop without heels!
 
If I have a trolley full of groceries and the person behind me only has a water bottle then I always offer to let them go first. If all the seats on the bus are taken and a pregnant lady or elderly person enters the bus then I offer them my seat. I also hold the door open when I see somebody is behind me etc etc. Not too sure where the sexist part of this all came into the conversation as I see it as common courtesy. I guess today being a gentleman means as much as being polite, in which case...yes...I’m a gentleman, even though I don’t actually have a penis. Go figure.
 
DJStealth said:
I agree 100% with you, hence why I said I dont really care about the gentlemanly aspect, it rather has to do with being courteous regardless of sex. If I had a choice to open a car door for a female (just because she is female) and a guy struggling (for whatever reason unless he is just being an idiot), I would provide my help to the guy and not the woman. The basis of being a gentleman is sexist, I prefer courtesy that doesnt discriminate :p
Click to expand...

If a lady gets miffed becuase you helped a struggling person she is also missing the point.

I am starting to get your point. Being a gentleman or as you put it a courteous person is about treating everybody in the same way. If you are only a gentleman while around ladies you are portraying a lie. Also showing a willingness to help a completely random person is more telling about you than doing the same for a person you do know.
 
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