wrathex
Expert Member
I have already completed 5 weeks of radiation and got a one week break to rest and become calm (in this week of rest my debit card was skimmed lol,) as I start with chemo this coming Monday, I will get it by drip in heavy dosage of Interferon alfa-2b every day for the next 5 weeks.
I go in at 4pm on Monday afternoon. I just called my oncology unit to ask whether I should cut my hair, I was told, no that I will lose a little hair and get some thinning of hair, but hair and nausea will be the least of my problems. I was advised that on Monday evening I will feel like I am dying, and that my first chemo treatment will be the worst and that if I survive that :erm:, then afterwards everything will go better !
It does not help that I have read too much about this medication, so much so that every cell in my body wants me to run in the opposite direction.
From the data I've gathered and from my most cynical interpretation of it - is that cancer is cured by killing the patient.
I've been getting butterflies since Wednesday about this. I am scared, more so than at any other time of my life for or about anything, it is a deep fear, I fear that I will not survive the chemo itself, and that if I do, I will have chemobrain afterwards, which is a condition of cognitive malfunction, which I already have on a psychiatric level.
Quick Summary of Interferon alfa-2b
I am downloading music to my chemo playlist, ambient, and psy ambient, I think it matches the poison, I have to lie down for three hours while the drip drips, and its total escape from reality that I'm after - the music MUST transport me.
If I survive to tell the tale, I shall forthwith be known as Wrathex the Conan !
For I go to do battle at Mordor, the dark forces assail me and I shall not surrender that which is so dear to me - my beloved friends !
____________________________
:twisted: Oh and to the onlooking extraterrestrials, sies on you, for letting me suffer like this, you could cure me, but you hunker behind your First Contact Laws, watching humanity wriggle about in confusion, when I ascend, there's going to be hell to pay, when I signed up to be a walk-in advocate for humanity, I had no idea that you would literally make me suffer in so many little ways, just wait till I come back, in the next spiral galaxy - you're doing the 'walk-in' buddy !
I go in at 4pm on Monday afternoon. I just called my oncology unit to ask whether I should cut my hair, I was told, no that I will lose a little hair and get some thinning of hair, but hair and nausea will be the least of my problems. I was advised that on Monday evening I will feel like I am dying, and that my first chemo treatment will be the worst and that if I survive that :erm:, then afterwards everything will go better !
It does not help that I have read too much about this medication, so much so that every cell in my body wants me to run in the opposite direction.
From the data I've gathered and from my most cynical interpretation of it - is that cancer is cured by killing the patient.
I've been getting butterflies since Wednesday about this. I am scared, more so than at any other time of my life for or about anything, it is a deep fear, I fear that I will not survive the chemo itself, and that if I do, I will have chemobrain afterwards, which is a condition of cognitive malfunction, which I already have on a psychiatric level.
Quick Summary of Interferon alfa-2b
I am downloading music to my chemo playlist, ambient, and psy ambient, I think it matches the poison, I have to lie down for three hours while the drip drips, and its total escape from reality that I'm after - the music MUST transport me.
If I survive to tell the tale, I shall forthwith be known as Wrathex the Conan !
For I go to do battle at Mordor, the dark forces assail me and I shall not surrender that which is so dear to me - my beloved friends !
____________________________
:twisted: Oh and to the onlooking extraterrestrials, sies on you, for letting me suffer like this, you could cure me, but you hunker behind your First Contact Laws, watching humanity wriggle about in confusion, when I ascend, there's going to be hell to pay, when I signed up to be a walk-in advocate for humanity, I had no idea that you would literally make me suffer in so many little ways, just wait till I come back, in the next spiral galaxy - you're doing the 'walk-in' buddy !
