Child Maintenance/support

[Corelli]

I pay maintenance every month for my 2 boys. Age 5 and 2.
I pay medical aid.
I pay school fees. Luckily the older one moved to a new school so one less Curro fee pm.
I pay a % towards the rent of the place their mother is renting.
She used to send me a long ass list of **** she used to buy them and i would then have to pay back half. Luckily she stopped with that.

The stuff below was my own choice and it was an offer I made to her to move back to my town so the kids can be closer to me.
I had to pay her rent in full for 6 months. That's over now. I had to buy her a car. Done. And I had to pay her maintenance for herself for 6 months. Also done now.

We were married out of community without accrual so she walked out of here with fokoll.

Youre so generous. I have single female friends haha

 

[W@P]

Youre so generous. I have single female friends haha

You would think so. She up and left, moved to Ballito to live the high life in Zimbali with her new bf and took my kids away from me without thinking twice. I had to fsck down to Ballito once a month to see my kids. Driving was getting too much, then I started flying. For a year I had to do this. Was horrible. Her relationship with the bf went for a ball of **** and she had nowhere to go so I convinced her to move back. All the while she was unemployed.

 

[The_Ogre]

You can cut the kids off when they turn 21.

Just like you can cut off your ex when she gets remarried.

My dad did that to me. 2nd year of University he stopped paying my varsity bills. I had to find a job and quick to cover for the rest of the year, but had to drop out of that college and only later finished my studies.

Your dad was harsh.

When my oldest turns 18 I'm going to pay her allowance to her instead of to their mother. I hate it when they ask me for money in the middle of the month, but I always send them. Between the two of them it's impossible that they can eat R5 000 worth of food during a month. That's the only thing they have to use the money for.

She will have to manage her allowance herself and will go wait tables if I notice she's running out of money month after month.

 

[Latte_Mom14]

Well you can sue the parents. Ironically grandparents can also be held accountable.

Is the father aware that he has a child in the first place? Sounds a bit suspect. Paternity tests may have to be done.

he does, but because he lives in a different province i am ultimately equal to a slut. I left him because he was toxic unemployed moocher, even if there was another man (which there wasnt) why does he think I'd choose him.

 

[Latte_Mom14]

Well you can sue the parents. Ironically grandparents can also be held accountable.

Is the father aware that he has a child in the first place? Sounds a bit suspect. Paternity tests may have to be done.

they live in kzn also and i dont know their address because its flats. and yes he does know he was there for the birth

 

[The_Ogre]

And I had to pay her maintenance for herself for 6 months. Also done now.

6 months? The court slapped me with 24 months' spousal maintenance.

This is my punishment for telling her one day that she doesn't need to work as I was earning enough. I told her this one day to cheer her up after she came back from two interviews and was disappointed that she did not get either job. I told her over whatsapp and I knew she was going to show the court that message that I told her not to work, so I just settled because I knew I would lose.

I know she's going to waste that money on crap.

I'm going to pay it once off when the sale of our house goes through - less the money she owes me for personal things she sold or something (PC, Series S and a TV). The stuff just disappeared out of our house and my attorney told me that it's actually illegal what she did because we were married in community of property.

I need to do some research actually. If I paid her that money at once, I do not want her to go back to court and said she wanted money every month and that I must still and then i end up still having to pay!

 

[Pho3nix]

6 months? The court slapped me with 24 months' spousal maintenance.

This is my punishment for telling her one day that she doesn't need to work as I was earning enough. I told her this one day to cheer her up after she came back from two interviews and was disappointed that she did not get either job. I told her over whatsapp and I knew she was going to show the court that message that I told her not to work, so I just settled because I knew I would lose.

I know she's going to waste that money on crap.

I'm going to pay it once off when the sale of our house goes through - less the money she owes me for personal things she sold or something (PC, Series S and a TV). The stuff just disappeared out of our house and my attorney told me that it's actually illegal what she did because we were married in community of property.

I need to do some research actually. If I paid her that money at once, I do not want her to go back to court and said she wanted money every month and that I must still and then i end up still having to pay!

Wtf and how much is the spousal support?

 

[The_Ogre]

Wtf and how much is the spousal support?

R3k per month for the two years. My attorney actually told me that it's a reasonable amount that she's requesting, so I instucted them not to oppose, but to settle for that amount.

I actually should have thought it through first.

Spousal maintenance automatically gets cancelled once the other party dies or marries someone else.

If I paid her upfront and she remarries after 6 months, there's no way for me to recover my money for the remainder of the two years. I don't know if it's a standard procedure that magistrates do, but the presiding judge set the period to 2 years.

 

[Pho3nix]

R3k per month for the two years. My attorney actually told me that it's a reasonable amount that she's requesting, so I instucted them not to oppose, but to settle for that amount.

I actually should have thought it through first.

Spousal maintenance automatically gets cancelled once the other party dies or marries someone else.

If I paid her upfront and she remarries after 6 months, there's no way for me to recover my money for the remainder of the two years. I don't know if it's a standard procedure that magistrates do, but the presiding judge set the period to 2 years.

So R8k excluding all the expenses you pay for your kids already?
Ever wonder if it would have just been cheaper separating without the divorce? Know a few people doing this rather

 

[W@P]

R3k per month for the two years. My attorney actually told me that it's a reasonable amount that she's requesting, so I instucted them not to oppose, but to settle for that amount.

I actually should have thought it through first.

Spousal maintenance automatically gets cancelled once the other party dies or marries someone else.

If I paid her upfront and she remarries after 6 months, there's no way for me to recover my money for the remainder of the two years. I don't know if it's a standard procedure that magistrates do, but the presiding judge set the period to 2 years.

Ja rather keep paying every month instead of once of lump sum. I also thought I should just pay it once off and get it over with but decided not to. Think it's better she waits every month for her money. And a lot of people cant handle lump sums of cash. They blow it quick quick.

 

[W@P]

6 months? The court slapped me with 24 months' spousal maintenance.

This is my punishment for telling her one day that she doesn't need to work as I was earning enough. I told her this one day to cheer her up after she came back from two interviews and was disappointed that she did not get either job. I told her over whatsapp and I knew she was going to show the court that message that I told her not to work, so I just settled because I knew I would lose.

I know she's going to waste that money on crap.

I'm going to pay it once off when the sale of our house goes through - less the money she owes me for personal things she sold or something (PC, Series S and a TV). The stuff just disappeared out of our house and my attorney told me that it's actually illegal what she did because we were married in community of property.

I need to do some research actually. If I paid her that money at once, I do not want her to go back to court and said she wanted money every month and that I must still and then i end up still having to pay!

Yes, the 6 months was an offer I made to her to move back. It had nothing to do with the courts. Was an uncontested divorce and we just agreed on what I should pay for the kids in the settlement.

The whole fscking offer for her to move back cost me 500k

 

[Latte_Mom14]

Well you can sue the parents. Ironically grandparents can also be held accountable.

Is the father aware that he has a child in the first place? Sounds a bit suspect. Paternity tests may have to be done.

are you saying youre suspicious of me? trust me, he's the father. he's only suspicious because he has victim mentality and because my genes show stronger in our son than his.

 

[The_Ogre]

So R8k excluding all the expenses you pay for your kids already?
Ever wonder if it would have just been cheaper separating without the divorce? Know a few people doing this rather

I didn't want to separate. I wanted a clean break.

 

[R13...]

Youre so generous. I have single female friends haha

Your friends are only going to get his "other" generosity as the money seems to all go to toward his kids and ex.

 

[r4nd0m]

It's stories like these that make me not want to ever marry or have kids. It complicates life to the max. when you have to literally put the fate of your future in someone else's hands.

 

[W@P]

It's stories like these that make me not want to ever marry or have kids. It complicates life to the max. when you have to literally put the fate of your future in someone else's hands.

Yep, in my case, I put it in a narcissist's hands.

 

[Latte_Mom14]

Yep, in my case, I put it in a narcissist's hands.

but I can tell you care about your kid, not straight up denying theyre yours to avoid responsibility. that aside, i'm sorry for your situation.